In the 1930s, University of Pennsylvania sociologist Ray H. Abrams identified a typical time frame in which widowers remarry. It’s an accepted average to this day.
Using “Who’s Who in America,” Abrams compared the date of the first wife’s death and the date of the second marriage for 1,300 men. He found the average length of time between marriages was about two and a half years.
Of course, this time span depends on the individual and how comfortable he is to look for love after the death of his wife. Maybe he was married for 50 years or just five months, but nobody can determine a proper length of mourning except the person doing the mourning.
That’s why a woman in a relationship with a widower must be patient, empathetic, understanding and, most of all, trust that her new man is being open with himself.
1. Create a dialogue.
If you find yourself in a relationship with a widower, then creating dialogue is essential. Make sure you let it be known that talking about his wife who passed is completely normal and encouraged. He shouldn’t feel embarrassed or shameful to reminisce about the woman he was married to.
2. Online dating sites.
Widowers can be more attractive than a man who is divorced. The widower didn’t choose to move on from his marriage but the divorced man did (in a way). That’s why if you are interested in seeking the companionship of a widower, online dating sites dedicated to the demographic are a great tool.
Check out widowersdatingsite.com, maturesinglesonly.com and widowsorwidowers.com.
“If you are 100 percent honest, then there is no
reason you can’t have a meaningful relationship.”
3. He may not want marriage.
When dating a widower, keep in mind that he may not necessarily want the relationship to turn into a marriage — ever. Some men who have already been married, had kids, raised the kids and suddenly lost their wife may not see the point of getting married again.
4. Be understanding to your man.
Try and put yourself in his shoes. Ask yourself a few questions:
- “Has he had ample time to grieve?”
- “Am I a rebound?”
- “Is he looking to date, or is he looking for a relationship?”
- “What are some potential complications to dating this man, such as finances or children?”
- “Am I prepared for him to be extra sad on days like his wife’s birthday or their anniversary?”
If you are 100 percent open and honest with yourself, and he reciprocates that openness and honesty, then there is no reason the two of you can’t have a fun and meaningful relationship.
Just lay your cards out on the table and keep the dialogue running. Be sensitive, be understanding, and be patient.