How to Date Younger Women
|Nick Slade • 9/05/12|
There’s something about younger women that has always been irresistible to men — and it’s not just their youthful bodies or their natural ability to make him feel in charge, important, wise and competent.
Younger women have a fun-loving charm that seems to lift the weight of the world off a man’s shoulders, keep him young and make life new and exciting again.
And an older man has the ability to offer them the kind of security, stability, knowledge and trustworthiness that younger men often lack — not to mention the keen appreciation he has for her companionship and the doting attention he will pay to her.
There is a downside, of course. Time is a barrier just as surely as distance is.
Although she may appreciate the warmth, dependability and better quality of sex that you can offer her in the present moment, she may be looking to raise a family or charge into the upper levels of a career, while you’ve “been there, done that.” You might be ready for a peaceful lake house and a small fishing boat or a life of travel and adventure.
A romance with a younger woman may be well worth pursuing, but if you’re going to jump into that arena, you need to understand what you’re getting into and know how to date her successfully.
First thing’s first.
Maybe you’ve already met a younger woman, or perhaps you’re still scanning the online sites to find a girl who might be interested in an older guy. In either case, you have to ask yourself some serious questions:
- Am I pursuing her with long-term or short-term goals in mind?
- How long can this arrangement work for both of us?
- What kind of situation will this put me in down the road?
- How will this affect my friends and family?
A lot of those answers will depend on the actual age difference. If you’re 60 and she’s 30, it might be a great and fulfilling one-year affair for both of you, but she’s going to think twice about staying with a man who will be 80 when their kids are entering college.
The chance of a heart being broken is very high, and it’s almost certainly going to be your heart feeling the pain. Also, bear in mind that the bigger the age spread, the more likely it is that both you and she are in it for the wrong reasons. You’re both probably more interested in what the other one’s got than you are in the person.
If she’s 42 and you’re 60, now you’re on reasonably solid ground. She’s raised her kids or may still be raising them. She knows what her first husband lacked, and she knows what she’s looking for in a man now.
Chances are, you’ve got everything on her list in spades. You know how to treat a lady, you have the old-fashioned values she can appreciate, you’re stable, financially secure, and you love being with her more than anything else in life.
Understanding why you want to date her and why she wants to date you is always the first thing to consider. You want a woman whose company you can enjoy for many years.
You don’t have a year or two to waste on foolishness and frivolity, and you want to preserve and protect your assets for the family you already have, and maybe for a woman who is worthy of being the new love of your life.
“A younger woman will come back to a
place filled with warmth and affection.”
So, now all you’ve got to do is date her in a way that will impress her and win her heart. Try these tips:
1. Be a man, not a boy.
It may have been a while since you were on a date with a beautiful young woman, and it can be easy to allow her charm and femininity to overwhelm you.
But, face it: She’s giving up some of the qualities that studly young men have to offer in order to be with a mature gentleman like you. The last thing she wants is for your “inner nerd” to come out. Be cool, calm, relaxed and totally in control of yourself and the situation.
2. Be her knight.
Chivalry is pretty much dead in the modern dating universe that younger women have grown accustomed to, but it has never gone out of style in the minds of women.
Open doors for her, pull out her chair, make sure she’s comfortable, help her find something on the menu she will like, and then order it for her. Don’t be running and snapping to assist her like a servant, but try to do everything a gentleman would surely try do for his lady.
Most of all, give her your sincere respect and attention. Chances are good that no one has ever made her feel like a princess before.
3. Hold back.
Don’t chase a younger woman. The attraction of an older guy is his mystique and his ability to control himself and the world around him. Let her fall for you.
Every guy she has been out with since she was in college has tried to get in her pants on the first date. There are two reasons why you should never do this.
First, it will ruin your mystique and turn all of the power over to her. Women get to call all the shots when it comes to sex. And, secondly, a younger guy will just seem eager and inconsiderate, but an older guy who makes a move too soon will come off as a “perv,” weirdo or some kind of dangerous guy she must avoid.
4. Be playful.
You want to have all of those solid qualities that come with maturity, but you also want her to forget about the age difference.
Make sure you have fun with her. Make light of some of her youthful expressions, ask her if she has a Justin Bieber poster on her wall when she starts bouncing to the music — just have fun and be playful with your younger woman.
Laughter is something women rate very highly, so don’t be an old fuddy-duddy.
5. Run the show.
In addition to humor, women are also very attracted to power. This is one of the most fundamental facts of nature. Women want a man who leads, is fearless, decisive and willing to take charge.
Never allow choosing a restaurant to become one of those “Where do you want to go? I don’t care. Where do you want to go?” catastrophes. Suggest a couple of places and if she can’t pick one, you decide.
Follow the same pattern for ordering food, selecting what music to play or whatever it might be. She will learn to speak up when she wants to get her way.
6. Give her a lot of rope.
You want to show her you care and remind her that you are available to her, but you don’t want to cramp her style or intrude too far into her personal life.
You might run the show with her, but you have no business running her family, and you shouldn’t try to monopolize too much of her time.
Do all of those considerate things that younger guys don’t do: Call her the next day, send a few texts every week, send her flowers for special occasions.
A stray cat will return to your doorstep for the kibble and milk you put out — but it will run if you try to get close. A younger woman will also tend to come back to a place filled with warmth and affection as long as she knows it is not a trap.