How to Have a Healthy and Fun Sex Life for Gay Men
|Sam Stieler • 7/08/12|
Everyone wants to enjoy a healthy and fun sex life. While sex may not be the only important element of a relationship, it certainly ranks near the top.
After all, humans are sexual in nature and that natural sexual charge represents the primary defining feature differentiating your romantic relationships from your close friendships.
So read on and learn how you can experience an exciting sex life in a responsible (enough) manner.
Alternate between routine and exploration.
There’s a common cultural myth that the key to a fun sex life lies in constantly trying new things. In fact, if you listened to conventional wisdom, you’d believe the only way to really enjoy your sex life is to push your boundaries each and every time you slipped between the sheets. This is total nonsense!
Excess variety creates boredom just as effectively as excess predictability. Trying new things seven days a week will quickly make the process of exploration dull and boring, robbing these experiences of the special, unique and dangerous quality they will provide with intelligent timing.
To keep your sex life fun and to make sure your personal explorations retain their exciting charge, you need to erect them on the bedrock of a satisfying routine.
Think about it this way: If you ate out at a new and exciting restaurant every single day of the week, it wouldn’t take too long before the thrill of trying something new vacated these experiences.
Trying new foods is only exciting in the context of deviating from routine, and the sexual side of your life works in exactly the same way.
“Take just one step out of your comfort
zone and you’ll be able to create a
sustainable, healthy and fun sex life.”
Build a satisfying sexual home.
With this in mind, the only way to maximize your sexual excitement is to create a stable sexual routine that you find satisfying and that provides the erotic equivalent of comfort food or staple meals.
Whether your sexual “home” involves a single stable partner or multiple partners is irrelevant. Your sexual home is yours to build and yours alone.
Now, you need to introduce a little variety into the experience when you “go home,” sexually speaking. By providing a little variation each time, you keep that spark alive, ready to be built up to a roaring fire of excitement whenever you decide to step out and try something incredibly exciting.
Your experiences with your sexual home represent variations on an otherwise comfortable theme.
If you fail to introduce a little variety into your sexual home, then you will start to disassociate from your sexual life and seek excessively bold ways to shake up your routine, which can lead to some unfortunate experimental situations.
Baby step your way forward.
You need to introduce exciting new experiences into your sexual life one small step at a time.
If you go from a totally vanilla sex life to swinging from the ceiling in a harness while being flogged by an anonymous dungeon master, you’re going to create an internal psychic backlash that prevents you from continuing to step out as often as you should.
Excessive exploration tends to be more frightening than exciting. Excitement comes from stepping just beyond your current comfort zone.
Excitement comes from small transgressions, little expansions that provide you just enough of a charge to light your internal fire while still maintaining a large degree of personal comfort and confidence.
If you create a stable base that includes variations on a sexual theme you know you love, space out your sexual explorations, and always take just one step out of your comfort zone, then you’ll be able to create a sustainable, healthy and incredibly fun sex life.