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|Nick Slade • 10/19/12|
Some of our routines work so well for us that we never even think of changing them. Our morning shower and shave, the route we take to work and the way we prepare our famous barbeque sauce and slow cook a pork shoulder just can’t be improved.
But other routines can grow stale and get us stuck in a thankless and ineffectual rut. Our dating habits are one of those things that need constant updating.
Not only do the times, tastes and available venues for dining and entertainment change, but each woman is also different from all of the others.
If you want more successful and fun dates, it’s time to let go of the old dating habits and bring something new and creative to every new dating situation.
It’s not that hard to do, but it can pay great dividends with the ladies you want to impress.
Plaid shirts, suspenders and pants short enough to show off your white socks just aren’t as fashionable as they used to be.
You want your attire to be age-appropriate, but it can still reflect more modern tastes and trends.
A solid color shirt with the cuffs rolled up a couple times with a sweater vest instead of a cardigan might be a good start. Clean, polished shoes and a pair of casual slacks or Calvin Klein jeans might complete the look quite well. And, yes, $80 jeans do look a lot better than $20 jeans.
Try clothes on before you buy them, even though you’ve worn the same size for 40 years. Make sure they fit nicely and look fashionable, and be sure to get a woman’s opinion.
And throw out the Aqua Velva, Hai Karate and Old Spice unless you want to smell like a black and white movie starring Ernest Borgnine. Get a modern designer fragrance with a subtle scent formulated to attract the ladies, and ask the sales girl what she likes on a man.
It might cost $50 but you only need to use a little. It will last you as long as 10 bottles of Aqua Velva, and it will draw women to you instead of chasing them away.
Consider using an unscented aftershave lotion instead of splashing your whole face with the fragrance, and just use a couple dabs of cologne. You’ll miss the burn but you’ll get used to it.
“A new dating destination
will keep you on your toes.”
You can never recreate past magic by using an old routine on a new woman. But there is always something of value to be gleaned from successful dates you’ve experienced.
If every woman you’ve ever known has been fascinated and delighted by the classic car show at the fairgrounds, your new lady will probably love it too, especially if it’s something you’re passionate about.
Some of your little discoveries that she has never been to might also be great — that hole-in-the-wall hotdog shop under the L tracks, the ‘50s malt shop across town or the Sunday brunch in the five-star hotel by the airport might be a hit every time.
The downside is that going to the same places can put in a mental rut. “Same date, different girl” is not what you want to be thinking.
Use your familiar places like sprinkles on an ice cream cone to add a little color and texture, but build the main part of the date around the great girl you’re with now.
Forget the standard bouquet from the supermarket and bring her a single flower to match her eyes or her personality. Remember to tell her why you chose it especially for her.
Find out what kinds of food she likes, what movies she hasn’t seen, where she likes to go dancing, and then weave a date together that blends part of her world with part of yours.
Do a little homework and find out what new restaurants have opened and try out a good one that suits both of your tastes (but especially her tastes).
The best adventures in life combine something familiar with something new and exciting, so start each new dating experience out by building memories that will belong only to you and your lady love.
When you’re too comfortable in your old pants and your regular hangouts, you are likely to escape into the familiar channels of your mind instead of engaging your date.
But when you’re both a bit on edge in a new venue with a new menu, she will be the most familiar part of your experience. You will be more likely to turn to each other for comfort, support and camaraderie. That is the essence of bonding.
Some new clothes, a new fragrance and a new dating destination will keep you on your toes and just inches away from your comfort zone, which is the best way to keep your attention focused on your new lady and to share a bonding experience that might seal the deal on a new relationship.