At a certain point in life, our emotional needs catch up with and often surpass our physical need to be within an arm’s reach of the woman we love. Although long-distance relationships are not optimal, they can work even more comfortably for senior daters than they do for the younger generation.
After all, a few decades ago we were driven by our libidos full time, and no mountain was high enough to keep us from our lady love. Now that we can manage our urges and she has become the wind beneath our wings, the mountain doesn’t really matter as much.
Still, we are physical creatures. It takes a plan as well as constant attention to keep a relationship alive and well when your loved one is miles away.
1. Time is of the essence.
Let’s start off by keeping it real. Every day is precious. Now is the time to enjoy all of the good things in life, and the best thing of all is the woman you love.
If you met her online and drove six hours to get together for a magical night of dinner and dancing, or if you met her at your daughter’s graduation from law school three states away, you have to be sure the day is coming when you will be together.
If she will never leave the city where her children live and you will never leave your lifelong home either, then you can take little comfort in calling this a relationship.
Try to get at least a general timeline for uniting as a real couple. If you can’t agree on who will move, you can both escape to a nice retirement community in Florida or the Ozarks.
You can always do the snowbird thing and return home every summer, spending half the time in her town and half the time in yours.
“Show her there ain’t no river wide
enough to keep you from getting to her.”
2. Keep in touch often.
In this digital age, there is much more available to you than the telephone, although that is always a great way to keep your emotional connection strong and personal. But don’t forget about smart phones and computers, too.
Send her a “tweet” a few times every day, text her photo of the dog licking her picture, and send some photos on Facebook, too. Share your new haircut, your new sweater or your newly waxed car.
Just keeping each other apprised of the little things in your daily routine and making her feel included in your life is a great way to keep continuity and passion in the relationship.
Set aside a few minutes to chat on Facebook or Skype every day, if you can. Utilize your webcams and add even more intimacy to your romance.
3. Have a presence in her life.
Depending on the distance, schedules and budgets, it is a good idea to make a schedule of when you will visit each other. It might be every weekend, once a month or on birthdays and holidays. Sometimes you will go to see her, and other times she should come to visit you.
Looking forward to sharing time with your lady on a certain date and on a regular schedule makes the long-distance relationship more bearable and more likely to last.
Be sure to do some special and memorable with your time, and take some time to share the other people and events in your lives when you’re together, too.
When you can’t be with her in person, you can have a “virtual date.” Get iPhones or iPads for both of you, and then meet for lunch at McDonald’s at noon in your distant cities.
With the free Wi-Fi and your mobile devices, you can share some “FaceTime” as you enjoy your lunch “together.” Or try it for dinner at Applebee’s or the Olive Garden.
An unexpected bouquet of flowers will also make her feel closer to you, but for something she can look at and enjoy every day, give her a flowering plant, a stuffed animal or a goldfish.
Better yet, if she’s OK with the idea, give her a puppy or a kitten that can actually give her some of your love and affection every day.
The key, of course, is to do everything you can to nurture and develop the personal and emotional bond that holds your relationship together. Let her know every day that you think about her and care for her.
Make her feel like you are there with her. And show her there ain’t no river wide enough to keep you from getting to her.