Women are the essence of reinvention. Their fashions are colorful and reflect ever-changing trends. Hair, makeup and attire can give you a new look every day, while men are all packaged in identical monochromatic suits.
Your lifelong chameleon mindset gives you a great advantage over men when it comes to fresh starts as well.
Perhaps your first attempts at dating in your mature years was done out of a sense of duty or at the behest of friends and family, but your heart wasn’t in it.
Now your heart has healed and you are beginning to sense the loneliness and need for companionship. But the dating scene just seems so foreign, uncomfortable and even like a hopeless waste of time.
But the truth is that you can rise from the ashes and discover a life that is just as meaningful and fulfilling as the life you left behind.
1. Your mood.
Men tend to suffer from some degree of “Howard Hughes Syndrome” when they reach a dead end.
They will veg out in a recliner, letting their beard and nails grow. They will wallow in self-pity and despair, unwilling to seek or take advice or help. Fortunately for you, women are much more resilient.
If you’re feeling a little lost or running out of hope when it comes to the potential of dating, it’s time to recharge your battery.
Just as rainy days can sour our mood, so can a series of bad dates after a life-changing event. But the sun always comes out again, and you can shed that wet blanket of despair that’s holding you back, too.
Two words: activity and friends.
When the wheel of life stops turning for you, it’s because you jumped off the carousel and sat in a corner. You stay home dusting off your glass menagerie, dreaming of the tall dark gentleman caller who will ring your doorbell one day and sweep you off your feet.
Well, the mountain doesn’t come to the butterfly. The butterfly has to go to the mountain.
“A fresh start in your dating
life is as easy as a new hairdo.”
2. Get out and about.
Break out of your dismal dream world and start doing things. If you’ve got the gumption to go to the gym, that is the best way to get rid of the physical toxins that are souring your spirit.
Plus, it puts you into a situation where you can interact with other people.
Eat healthy foods, walk a lot or exercise, and cleanse your system. This by itself will lift your spirits and make you see your life and the world from a more hopeful frame of reference.
Rekindle some old friendships, get involved in groups or classes, have a cup of coffee every morning at the bagel shop or book store, and spend some time at the mall.
3. Talk to people.
Meet new people and make new friends. You never know who will be the one to introduce you to a man who gets your juices flowing again.
It might be the girl at the checkout counter, the trainer at the gym or the pottery instructor at the night class. Once you get back on the wheel, the possibilities become endless.
4. Throw out your expectations.
The best part of being a woman is the ease with which you can change and adapt. Men are expected to be the solid rock, while you ladies are the ethereal spirits that can flit effortlessly from place to place.
You have a malleable essence that can mold itself to make you the perfect partner for any man you choose. You changed your name, your goals and your lifestyle before, and you can do it again.
The woman you are and your values will always remain, but you do not have to pigeonhole yourself or limit your future by what your past has been.
Just because you were an accountant’s wife does not mean that’s what you “are.” You might want to be a pirate’s wench next time.
OK, that might be a little extreme. But the point is that simply because you’ve never ridden on the back of a motorcycle does not mean you never can.
Liz Taylor married a plumber the eighth time around. Don’t limit yourself to a preconceived notion of what you are. You can find happiness with a white collar man just as easily as with a blue collar man, and vice versa.
You can look online and find a man anywhere in the world. You can take a vacation in Florida or Arizona and find a guy who has moved to a sub-tropical paradise.
You don’t have to limit yourself to guys that smell like mothballs and Vaseline hair tonic. Your only limits are those you set in your own mind.
Never doubt that women really are magical creatures. You inspire men by your mere presence, and that’s a gift you will never lose.
You can create something out of nothing. You can make a house a home, and you can turn existence into a fulfilling life for all of those around you. Sharing your gift is not only good for you, but it will be an uplifting experience for many others as well.
A fresh start in your dating life is as easy as a new hairdo, a new dress and new shoes. Your life is your own fashion runway in Paris, so always be willing to try something new and bold, in both your look and your approach.
And if it doesn’t work, design something even better for the next show in Milan or New York.