If you’re looking for love as a senior lady, chances are it’s your second time around playing the field. But unlike riding a bike, dating is something that needs to be relearned, especially today with online dating, email, texting and video chatting.
Negotiating the dating world in the 21st century can create a lot of first date anxiety for women in their 50s, 60s, 70s and beyond. Let’s look at a fictional example of a woman trying to overcome first date anxiety:
Thelma is a 63-year-old widow living in Minneapolis. Her husband of 30 years passed away three years ago. Thelma finally feels like enough time has gone by and she is ready to start dating. The only problem is it’s been 35 years since she went on a date.
Get involved in the community.
Thelma’s spent the past few years getting involved in her community — joining a book club, selling knit goods at the local farmers market and planting an extensive edibles garden. She’s become good friends with a few of the men from her book club.
One man in particular, Joseph, recently asked her out for dinner. Thelma accepted the invitation, but now her nerves are flying off the handle. She can’t seem to calm down and the date isn’t even for another three days. How should Thelma deal with her first date anxiety? How would you?
“The right balance of preparation
can help you find the self-confidence
needed for an amazing first date.”
He is as nervous as you are.
Thelma told herself that Joseph, a widower whose wife passed a few years ago, is probably as nervous as she is.
She also told herself that compared to everything she’s lived through over the past 63 years, a first date is really not all that scary. This helped Thelma relax a bit, but she was still having anxiety.
Call friends and family for a pep talk.
Thelma called both her daughter and best friend for pep talks. Just knowing that she had their support helped immensely.
Take care of yourself.
Finally, Thelma went to her local boutique to find an outfit that made her feel really special and she got a massage, pedicure and manicure.
The night of her date with Joseph, Thelma felt so prepared that she no longer felt nervous. It was as if she’d done all of her homework and was ready to ace the test.
Thelma and Joseph had a fabulous first date and have already been out five more times.
Thelma is a fictional character, but she represents a lot of older women who struggle with first date anxiety. Of course every woman is different, but the right balance of preparation and a good pep talk or two can help you find the self-confidence needed for an amazing first date.
I would try having a drink before I head out — always calms the nerves