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|Hayley Matthews • 4/28/17|
Recently, eHarmony announced that new members would no longer have to answer every question on the site’s exclusive questionnaire during the signup process. Instead of filling out 155 questions that take about an hour to answer, singles now have the option to fill out only a couple of questions that take no longer than 10 minutes to answer.
eHarmony is known as having one of the most in-depth, unique matching systems, and a lot of people want to know what kind of information they’ll be asked to give. Well, look no further because we’ve compiled a list of questions you can expect to find when joining eHarmony — as well as some tips for how to successfully answer them.
The first thing eHarmony requires of you is your name, location, and email, and then you’re taken to the Profile Setup section. We didn’t include this part in our overall list of questions because it’s a lot of the basic stuff most dating websites ask for, including your:
Now we’ll get into some of the questions that are exclusive to eHarmony. Don’t worry about these being your final answers, though. You can always click “oops!” to go back, and you can edit your profile at any time.
Here, eHarmony encourages you to “think of something that energizes you.” What gets your heart racing, fills you with excitement, and makes you feel like you’re making a difference in your life and in the world? These are the things you should put in this section.
The site says, “Think of it this way: If you had a day off work, what would you do?”
Whether it’s traveling, picking up a new hobby, running errands, spending time with your family, or just hanging out at home, tell people what your typical day off work looks like and even what your dream day off work looks like.
“Try to explore the really awesome things in your life and tell why they’re significant,” according to eHarmony. It’s always great to hear what people are grateful for, especially in terms of dating, so give potential matches a glimpse into your mind. Also, we’d say the “why” is the most important part.
eHarmony is meant for commitment-oriented singles, so the site needs to know if having children, or having more children if you already have some, is part of your dating plan. If it’s a deal-breaker either way, this question will really help narrow things down for you.
The options include within 30 miles, within 60 miles, within 120 miles, within 300 miles, within specific states, within your country, anywhere in the world, and within specific countries. eHarmony recommends you at least go with 60 miles — you don’t want to limit yourself too much.
For this question, you’re given seven circles ranging in colors from light blue to dark blue. You’ll have to choose “not at all,” “somewhat,” or “very well,” to words like “clever” or statements like “I do things according to plan.”
The process for answering this question works the exact same way as the question above. Remember, it’s OK to answer “not at all” or “very well” if that’s what you really believe. It won’t come off as self-conscious or cocky, respectively. The truth is always better when you’re dating online.
The words you’ll get to choose from a list of 30 include good listener, spontaneous, romantic, ambitious, genuine, passionate, funny, and perceptive.
Yes, 30 is a lot of words to pick from, but don’t get overwhelmed. You probably know your friends pretty well, so try to get into their minds. Or you could straight up ask them what words they think of when they think of you.
You’ll either select “rarely,” “occasionally,” or “almost always” for this question. More than likely, some of the examples you’ll see are words like “happy,” “satisfied,” and “misunderstood.”
Similar to the other questions, you’ll have three choices: not skilled, somewhat skilled, or very skilled. The prompts could include “creating romance in a relationship,” “keeping physically fit,” and “finding and taking on challenging activities.”
You’ll start to notice a pattern with eHarmony’s questions, but that’s not a bad thing. It makes it easy for you to catch on. This time, you’re given “none,” “some interest,” and “very strong interest,” and you’ll say this to things like “watching movies,” “dining out,” and “religious community.”
In this section, the options are “not at all,” “somewhat,” and “very well,” and you’ll focus more on how you treat the people you’re dating or are in a relationship with. You could come across sentences like “I try to accommodate the other person’s position,” “I try to understand the other person,” and “I try to be respectful of all opinions different from my own.”
Finding someone compatible means being upfront about your opinions and your end goal.
Here, eHarmony will present you with “I am looking for a long-term relationship that will ultimately lead to marriage,” “When I get romantically involved, I tell my partner just about everything,” “It’s difficult for me to let people get emotionally close to me,” and things like that.
The next step is for you to tell the site if you absolutely disagree, neither agree nor disagree, or absolutely agree.
How important your partner’s dependability, sex appeal, intelligence, etc. are to you are all things eHarmony wants to know, so you’ll need to click “not at all important,” “somewhat important,” or “very important” when the site presents you with a hypothetical characteristic, quality, or situation.
We understand that this is a lot of information to take in, but eHarmony just wants to make sure it’s covering its bases. Filling out this questionnaire should be fun, and it shouldn’t feel like homework. Now that you know what to expect, here’s some advice for answering each question in a way that will make you feel satisfied and help bring you success on the site.
There’s no time limit here, so don’t rush through it. We said earlier that it could take about an hour for you to get through every question, so just sit back, relax, and enjoy the experience. You want to make sure you’re happy with your answers and that you’re portraying yourself correctly. After all, this is for your love life.
According to Psychology Today, more than half of single Americans lie on their dating profile — please don’t be one of them. Even if you think it’s something small, don’t do it. The study also showed women tend to fib about their looks, while men tend to fib about their job and finances.
It would feel pretty terrible to show up to a date and the person’s appearance isn’t what you expected or they have a completely opposite job than what they told you, right? Keep that in mind if you’re about to add a couple of inches to your height or upload a picture from 10 years ago. It’s a lose-lose situation. Plus, don’t you want to find your best match possible? If you’re lying about or even exaggerating details of your life, you’re less likely to find that.
This is definitely easier said than done, but it’s crucial. Sounding like every other online dater is the surest way to get lost in the crowd. The best way to be unique is to be specific. While some of these close-ended questions don’t allow for specificity, there are sections throughout eHarmony’s questionnaire and on your resulting profile where you can showcase what makes you different. Don’t forget to include the “why.” Why you like something. Why you’re looking for this type of person. Why you went into a certain career. Why certain beliefs matter to you.
eHarmony’s Co-Founder Dr. Neil Clark Warren, who is also a counselor, psychologist, Christian theologian, and seminary professor, helped create this one-of-a-kind personality assessment, and it’s one of the most comprehensive ones you’ll find on any dating site. While we’ve given you a good sample list of questions you might have to answer, this questionnaire is always subject to change. As eHarmony recently proved, it likes to continuously make updates and improvements to better serve users. The main thing is to just be yourself, as corny as that sounds. Good luck!
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