Gay Dating

Online Gay Dating in Small Communities

Sam Stieler Sam Stieler • 11/15/12

Dating can be really tricky if you’re gay and live in a small community. Part of this difficulty is nothing more than simple math. Gay people naturally represent a relatively small percentage of any population. The smaller the population, the smaller the number of gay people in it.

Taken at face value this math is hard enough on gay people in small communities, but it’s made even worse by the fact that gay people tend to leave these communities and coalesce in larger urban areas.

Which means the already small percentage of gay people in small communities is even slighter than you’d think. Which means it makes a whole lot of sense for gay people in small communities to have such a tough time dating.

If you’re gay and live in a small community, then chances are you’ve already dated all the eligible gay people around you or your social ties and obligations prevent you from wanting to date any of the remaining gay people you see out and about in town.

This is a real problem, one with only two real solutions:

  1. You can move.
  2. You can start dating online.

In other words, if you’ve run out of dating options within your day-to-day life, you need to start looking outside your day-to-day life for prospects.

While moving to a city with more gay people is probably the best idea for your long-term dating prospects, I know you probably don’t want to move, can’t move or are simply too tied down to your current home to pack up and relocate just to increase your dating prospects.

Hopping online.

Since moving probably isn’t on the table, you’ll need to get online if you’re going to meet some new men. But even then, you’ll need to break out of your comfort zone and break out of your current geographical limitations if you’re going to meet some great new guys.

Now, there are plenty of gay people living in small towns who don’t see the point in joining an online dating site because they feel they’re probably just going to already know all of the guys whose profiles they encounter.

There’s some truth to this fear, but it’s only really a problem if you only look at the men in your immediate town.

Instead of using the Internet to look for dates in your already-depleted backyard, use the Internet to meet people who live elsewhere.

Don’t worry, you don’t need to scour the whole country to meet new men. After all, most men are just as reluctant to get into a long-distance relationship as they are to move somewhere radically different to get dates.

Instead, use online dating to meet men who live relatively close to you but not in your neighborhood. Use online dating to meet men from one or two towns over, men who live close enough you wouldn’t mind navigating the distance but far enough away you’ve never meet them before.

When it comes down to it, if you’re gay and you live in a small community you’ve already dated your way through, you’re going to need to look outside your community to meet new men, and online dating gives you the ability to do just that without massively uprooting your life in pursuit of a full dance card.