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|Julie Spira • 9/25/14|
Last week I shared the first part of an ongoing series about online dating profile unplugging. It’s always one of the most popular questions singles looking for love online ask me.
This is *Robin’s question: “Do I or don’t I ask him to take down his profile? We’ve been dating for a while, but I see he’s still logging on.”
In this scenario, after only three dates with *Tim, Robin assumed they were in an exclusive relationship.
She projected to the future, filled her iPhone calendar with Saturday night dates for the next six months, thought about including him in her birthday plans for a weekend away and imagined kissing him at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s and receiving roses on Valentine’s Day.
Tim was Robin’s new dream guy.
Tim was on another digital path and Robin was someone he liked having a few dates with.
Robin took down her profile after the second date and assumed Tim felt the same way.
This wasn’t the case. Tim kept an active profile up and was playing the field.
Robin became focused on his profile status. She checked every day to see if Tim’s profile was still online and noticed the exact times he was logging on.
She created a digital log on her computer to monitor his online activity under another profile name.
“You can’t control someone else’s
decision to take down their profile.”
Robin thought filling his social calendar would get Tim to think she was the only one for him.
Instead, she blew up at him one day and said he didn’t respect her because he was still logging on and checking out other women. She insisted he take down his profile and told him how hurt she was by his inactions.
The next day, after a month of dating, Tim broke up with Robin. It was too much drama for him and she became too clingy and needy. He decided she wasn’t his girl.
The lesson here is to remember not everyone is on the same digital page at the same time.
Have you ever known of a man who got the big ultimatum to get married? Typically, this will backfire.
You can’t control someone else’s decision to make you their exclusive girlfriend or take down their profile.
You can only control how you respond to your date’s actions or inactions.
A guy will know when he’s feeling it for you. Give him a chance to come around.
Have you ever pressured someone to take down his or her profile? Do you think an unplugging ceremony together is a good idea?
Your comments and thoughts are welcome.
*Note: Names have been changed.
Photo source: tsminteractive.com.