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|Gina Stewart • 10/09/15|
Valentine’s Day is coming up and you may be looking to online dating to help you secure plans on the most hyped date night of the year.
To help get you there, and with someone you may actually like, here are some online dating tips on what men are checking out in your profile and how it leads them to contact you.
I’ve had the unique ability to work with tons of men doing online dating. Here is what I’ve learned about how the good guys pick who to contact:
The first thing men are going to notice are your profile photos. That’s how he is going to click on your profile to being with.
Your primary photo is going to be wedged between a lot of other women’s photos, so keep in mind what picture of you will help you stand out from the rest of your little picture neighbors.
Be careful about using pics with sunglasses, hats, puppies or anything that is going to block his view of seeing your best face.
Beware of shadows, grainy pictures or pictures with hazy lighting. Crisp, clear, well-composed shots are always your best bet.
Pay attention to the rest of your photos. For the best results, keep a blend of action/interesting with pretty.
Blend shots of your body and face. One photo is not enough for a man to get a sense of you.
He’s going to use your pictures to get his sense of who you are: a traveler, a workout queen, a party girl, a socialite, a family chick.
Tell your story here but keep it short. You still want him to want to get to know you in person.
A little mystery is your asset, so you don’t need photos in the double digits.
“If you’re doing it right, the emails you
receive sound similar to your profile.”
Next, he’s scanning your profile for a sense of who you are. Yep, scanning. He’s not diving into your bio with a highlighter.
Unless you’ve written an incredibly hilarious profile like you’re Amy Poehler, he’s not looking to invest a bunch of time reading. He needs to feel like you’re a good fit.
He’s catching bits and pieces like your stats, a sense about your writing style and choice words like your music interests, your views on pets and children and whatever else you’ve chosen to illuminate on yourself.
Don’t get bummed about this. He may go back and read your profile, but you need to understand what a man experiences in online dating before you judge this process.
When you’re a man doing online dating, odds are you’re doing most of the leg work toward finding a date: searching, reading, contacting. It’s very time consuming and men don’t want to waste time when they don’t have to.
Once a man has been online a few times, he starts to realize most women’s profiles sound mind numbingly the same (just like you may have noticed many men’s profiles sounds eerily similar).
Not that there is anything bad about these people, but he’s realized it doesn’t make sense to read everything about everyone. He only wants to read everything about the ones he feels are a match.
If some things about you spark his interest, then he goes back and reads the whole thing. As he gets excited about you, he has one thought, “How am I going to contact this girl?”
That’s part three. This guy then starts looking at your profile for one key: an element in which to contact you about.
If you’ve written something specifically engaging, intruiging or interesting, it’s an easy thing for him to contact you about.
If you think a guy will like you because you’ve written nothing about yourself, you’ve made it increasingly hard for him to find reason to contact you over someone else.
What’s the lesson here? Throw up some softballs in your profile. Make it super easy for a man to find things to contact you about in your profile.
Provoke conversations, ask direct questions and give lots of details. You’ll find you’ll get way more emails this way.
If you’re doing it right, the emails you receive may sound similar to the bait you’ve put in your profile, but that’s OK because you know the guys are actively reading your profile and are interested in you.
Have you found ways to engineer your profile get the men you like to contact you?