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|Gina Stewart • 9/25/14|
For the past several weeks, I’ve been writing to the theme of your online dating profile. It’s a big deal, and for many of you, it’s the most daunting part of online dating.
My goal is to make something that seems hard much easier and more effective.
Your dating profile is often your single opportunity to tell potential dates about you and attract them, so you don’t want to take it for granted.
Last week my article was all about how your online profile is a marketing piece for your brand and to get you thinking about what your brand is about.
Recently I had a client that needed help with his profile.
He’s a client “type” I experience often: solid guy, well educated, has a good job he works hard at and is earnestly looking for love.
He’ll be a great and devoted husband to someone someday. He had just moved to a new city, something not uncommon for people who dip into online dating.
As part of the experience where I help daters write their profile, I interview them for a very long time and ask a barrage of often bizarre questions to find the gems we need to include in their profile.
Upon interviewing this client, I asked him a seemingly not so bizarre question about his hobbies.
“What do you do in your off time?” And it was a difficult question for him to answer.
He has some TV shows he likes to watch and he goes on the Internet, but mostly, he works a lot.
He goes out to eat alone. He goes to bed, gets up and does it again.
He doesn’t know anyone in this city and the people he works with aren’t the types to really go out with.
I’ve seen this scenario many, many times. I wish I could just connect all these people I encounter that live like this.
They are all looking for the same thing! Especially for shy daters, this is often how they spend their days until they meet someone.
The catch-22 here is it is hard to meet someone when your time is limited to that.
You have to carve out time and get out.
There is a ripple effect that takes place when you make the decision to go out of your comfort zone and engage.
Finding hobbies, groups and interests is not only going to make your life more fulfilling and enjoyable, it’s also going to make you a better dater and, the entire purpose of this article, it actually makes you a better online dater!
It is surprisingly easy to write your online dating profile when you have a lot of things going on in your life to talk about. When you become interesting, it’s easier for other people to become interested.
When you have things going on in your life outside of work, not only do you open the opportunity to meet new friends, you open the door to meet potential dates (hello?) and your life becomes enriched.
At the end of the day, even if you don’t meet someone being out and about, you are evolving yourself as a person.
And this is the information I look to put in your online dating profile. What’s more, it’s great conversational fodder for your online dates.
So how can you get out and about? Think about what you’re interested in or want to learn more about.
“Every single time you get
yourself out, it gets easier.”
This is for groups revolving around those in your area. If you don’t already know, meetups are member established groups revolving around anything and everything.
It’s free to join and the options are endless. From hiking and animals, to anime and book clubs, MeetUp offers it. And if it doesn’t, you can make it.
Research a cause important to you and find out how you can donate your time or expertise in some way. This is free and people will welcome and appreciate you!
Local city colleges offer classes as well was many city parks and recreation departments.
Contact your neighbors about having a block party barbecue or creating a walking group.
Groupons are coupons, often for classes or opportunities to try local businesses. It’s a good way to test out what you’re not sure you’re interested in.
Now I know it’s hard to do this. When you’re shy, this is terrifying. I’ve been there.
But there is good news — it gets easier. Every single time you get yourself out, it gets easier.
Just keep telling yourself that and make the decision (remember a decision happens when you commit) to do something.
Are there other ways you found to get out and about? What was difficult or easy for you?
Photo source: transcendentally.wordpress.com.