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|Dr. Wendy Walsh • 9/25/14|
I’ve been married for 29 years but was blindsided by my wife’s announcement that she met someone, doesn’t love me anymore and is leaving. For a sensitive gentleman (I’m 66), I am kind of lost. My wife was everything. I never socialized much before and am now in a city with no friends.
Do you have any advice for me about how to be single besides being positive and confident?
I’ll tell you this. If your wife was able to blindside you, there was clearly something missing in your relationship. And that’s what I’d focus on as you embark on this unscheduled life change.
Look at this crisis as an opportunity for personal growth. If you aren’t ready to “buck up” and be confident and positive, I’d say you are still grieving about the loss. This is normal.
But in order to not get stuck in the grief, you might want to enter personal therapy to sort out your feelings. There is information in your crisis that you can unlock to find freedom.
And, before you embark on a love relationship, make some platonic friends through your work or hobbies. You need to rally the troops and create a life for yourself. Don’t expect a woman to automatically do that for you.
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