She Has Problems With Depression. Do I Give Up?

November 2, 2012
She Has Problems With Depression. Do I Give Up?

Reader Question:

I’ve been dating a girl for a while, but she has a lot of problems with depression and hasn’t wanted to see anyone for a while. She says she still wants to see me but that she’s having a hard time at the moment. I’m trying to be patient with her, but I’m starting to find it hard and really don’t know what to do.

I really like this girl and don’t want to give up. I’m pretty sure she is genuinely having hard time and not messing me around.

-Sarah (United Kingdom)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

The biggest question I have for you Sarah is this. Has your girlfriend come out about her sexuality, and if so, is her environment supportive? If so, then this is how she may deal with her depression. But it’s not the best way.

Reaching out for help from those around us is a better way to alleviate depression. If I were you, I’d offer your unconditional, nonjudgmental ear, but at the same time, gently tell her you have needs in this friendship, too. Ask her what she can do to nurture the relationship so you both can feel better.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013). Connect with her on Google+.

Related Topics:
Breakups Lesbian

3 Responses

    Wait, you’re going to tell your depressed girlfriend that you need things from her? That doesn’t seem right to me. Offering an open, non-judgmental ear to her is the best thing you can do other than suggesting professional help. Listening is the best way if you don’t want to give up. If you want to be a jerk, tell her you’re not getting what you need out of her.

    I’m not sure you should really ask too much. Give her some space

    everyone has problems some more than others and no one can be judgemental regarding that person too pesimistic or taking too long to get over it. Any how if you are the other party in the relationship be patient and loving and unconditional and pretent its you in those shoes and how would you like your partner to feel around you. Love means to be there in good and bad times. Hear hear hear hold hold and hold. Kiss the pain away take them for walks, watch movies that relate to your situation. Take her to book store and read chicken soup for soul it will help you both.

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