Many women are startled at how fast the years have flown by and how quickly old “Father Time” sneaks up on them. It can be a revelation to see how much older your peers are looking these days.

In moments of painful honesty, you are forced to admit the effects of time in your own face and perhaps you feel it in your knees with every step you take.

Unlike Norma, the last thing you may be ready for is your “close-up,” especially in the world of dating.

When it frequently feels like looking in the mirror is a significant act of courage, it may seem laughable to consider you can actually feel sexy as a mature single woman. The mere thought can seem ludicrous.

There is also a cultural phenomenon which defines aging women as “old” and aging men as “distinguished.” It is almost enough to make you want to “act out” like Norma Desmond.

Many mature men are also interested in and able to attract younger women. It can feel intimidating, inauthentic or scary to express your seductive side.

Sexiness is more about attitude than appearance.

It is fair to say we have all seen women who are not the youngest or most beautiful, yet they have timeless sex appeal.

I am not suggesting you sport an overtly sexy look (which can actually be aging). It is about feeling comfortable enough in your own skin to convey an image that is feminine, authentic and enthralling.

Having well-earned inner confidence is a good start. You set the tone for how you want others to treat you by how much you respect and value yourself.

Even though being sexy is not all about looks, you do want your outward appearance to be the most flattering reflection of who you are.

Begin with a baseline approach. This is not the time to focus on your flaws or failings. Rather, now is the time to give yourself credit where credit is due.

“There is no expiration date on your

ability to attract someone amazing.”

Consider your best attributes.

Look deeply into the mirror and see yourself beyond the wrinkles.

What are your best features? What are the characteristics people most frequently notice and compliment in you?

For example, many women in midlife and beyond have great legs. How about ditching those sensible shoes to rock a gorgeous pair of heels for an evening out on the town?

Do you have magnificent eyes or an inviting smile? Consider how you may be able to enhance your look with makeup, new eye shadow or by whitening your teeth.

It is easy to get stuck in a time warp. You may want to hit the reset button on your wardrobe choices or beauty routine.

What are you most proud of in your life?

What are the greatest gifts and lessons from your experience? What do you have to share with the world?

Ask yourself how you can center your life more fully on the things you love and are most passionate about. When you are avidly pursuing what is most meaningful, you are more likely to be centered, genuine and joyful.

This makes you interesting and appealing.

Most women who have more than a couple of decades behind them have been through some significant ups and downs. This can include disappointments and heartbreaks that come in an almost unlimited variety.

The upside is the wisdom and strength you gain through each experience. The downside is it can create bitterness or cynicism about love and life. This caustic “heaviness” can be serious man repellent.

When was the last time you did something just for fun?

Could your life use a big infusion of pleasure? A playful nature can be very sexy! Practice flirting by giving an attractive stranger a sincere compliment.

If you are feeling more daring, why not try a wink and a smile? Show genuine interest in other people. This helps take the focus off feelings of self-consciousness you may have.

Remember dating, love and romance are supposed to be fun. If you can approach social interactions and prospective love interests without being overly attached to the outcome, you will be able to relax and enjoy it more.

Find humor wherever you can, as a good hearty laugh can create amazing chemistry between two people.

Live your life in a way that brings you true happiness. Have compassion for and be forgiving of yourself and others. Enjoy the richness of your life more fully.

There is no expiration date on love and romance or on your ability to captivate and attract someone amazing.

Tell me: How do you plan on enjoying your golden years as a sexy single woman? I’d love to hear your tips!

Photo source: abdn.ac.uk.

Despite what Hollywood would have moviegoers believe, it appears single men have a greater overall belief in “love at first sight” than single women.

A new study conducted by DatingAdvice.com found single men were 33 percent more likely than single women to believe they could fall in love with someone after just one look.

Across the board, the results show men were more optimistic about love at first sight than women, regardless of race, marital status, sexuality or age.

Asian males had the highest response, with four out of five answering in the affirmative compared to only one-third of Asian women.

Sixty-eight percent of married men believe in love at first sight, 12 percent higher than married women.

“Men were more optimistic about love at first sight,

regardless of race, marital status, sexuality or age.”

Nearly three out of four gay men said they believe in love at first sight, more than double the rate of lesbian respondents.

Clinical psychologist and DatingAdvice.com expert Dr. Wendy Walsh said the findings show men often put more emphasis on appearance than women when looking for a partner.

“This makes total sense as men are more visually wired than women and often make beauty a component of love,” she said. “Women, on the other hand, have evolved to look for resource potential in a mate.”

The study also found as men grow older, their belief in love at first sight gradually increases. About half of men aged 18 to 24 said they believed in love at first sight, but that number jumps to 72 percent for 35- to 44-year-old men and 70 percent for 45- to 54-year-old men.

Dr. Walsh suggested more men believe in love at first sight as they age because their focus becomes less about sexual pleasure and more about connecting emotionally and mentally with their partner.

“I think men rate ‘love’ more possible after the age of 45,” she said. “Young men tend to be more sexually driven. After the age of 40, their testosterone begins to decline and their estrogen levels increase, making bonding more desired.”

The study surveyed 1,080 respondents over the course of three weeks, balancing responses by age, gender, income, race, sexuality and other factors in order to accurately represent the U.S. population. The study has a margin of error of +/- 2.8%.

The Breakdown: Americans Who Believe in Love at First Sight

By gender:

• Male: 61%
• Female: 53%

By sexuality:

• Straight: 57%
• Gay: 63%

By marital status:

• Single, Never Married: 50%
• Married: 61%
• Divorced: 60%

By age:

• 18 to 24: 46%
• 25 to 34: 51%
• 35 to 44: 67%
• 45 to 54: 64%
• 54 to 64: 56%
• 65 and older: 56%

By race:

• White: 57%
• African-American: 48%
• Hispanic: 64%
• Asian: 55%

By income:

• Under $25,000: 56%
• $25,000 to $49,999: 63%
• $50,000 to $74,999: 55%
• $75,000 to $99,999: 61%
• $100,000 to $124,999: 51%
• $125,000 or higher: 50%

By region:

• Northeast: 58%
• Midwest: 53%
• South: 57%
• West: 58%

Conducted by the University of Nebraska at Lincoln, a new study found men who frequently survey and judge their own body show higher levels of body shame and tend to be less hopeful about the prospects of a romantic or social coupling.

Researchers studied 227 college-aged men in regards to their personal objectification and level of body shame and explored so-called body surveillance, or checking out one’s own self as a sexual object.

“Men who frequently judge their body tend to

be less hopeful about romantic prospects.”

Participants were asked how often they view themselves as a sexual object, gauging their body only by how it looks as opposed to other factors like overall health.

As part of the study, respondents were also surveyed using the Objectified Body Consciousness Scale and the Adult Trait Hope Scale. The latter tracks how a person both determines their goals and then sets out to achieve them.

Prior research in the field of body image suggests men who are dissatisfied with their physical form are more likely to over-exercise and even abuse steroids.

Men have also been found to associate a higher degree of stigma and shame to seeking treatment for their body image issues, including depression or eating disorders.

Source: The University of Nebraska at Lincoln. Photo source: weismarkets.com.

Motivated singles want to date other quality singles.

How you show up dressed for your first date communicates this immediately to your mature date.

Are you sending the right signals to him?

Whatever your politics may be, I have to cite Hillary Clinton for making it absolutely OK for women to wear pant suits in the professional sphere of our lives.

Modern women love to wear pants and be comfortable. Wearing dress slacks is great when you’re at the office.

However, when you’re meeting that great guy for the first time on your first date, you want to leave your business look at the office.

Instead, I recommend my baby boomer clients wear a dress or skirt on the first date.

Why? Does it really make a difference? Can’t you just wear what’s comfortable for you?

Of course, if you are a woman who does not even own a dress or skirt and you always wear pants, please remain true to yourself and wear your nicest slacks on your first dates.

However, for the rest of you who own and wear skirts and dresses, wear a fun, feminine frock on your first dates.

“By emphasizing your womanliness, you contrast

the differences between you and your date.”

Attraction for men is mainly physical.

Whatever attraction he feels for you, he will feel it in the opening moments when he sees you face to face.

When he first meets you in person, you want to aim to accentuate your femininity.

By wearing a skirt or dress, you emphasize you are a woman and doing that turns up the volume on chemistry!

By emphasizing your womanliness, you contrast the differences between you and your date. That accentuates the chemistry between you two!

Wear a dress or skirt that has a little movement to it, perhaps with pleats or a little flounce. Having your skirt swish about is fun and flirty.

Use it as flirtation prop when you are seated talking with your date and turn up the romantic physical chemistry and attraction.

What is your favorite first date look to wear that always gets you asked out on a second date?

Photo source: cloudfront.net.

However, your energy is dropping and you want to do something to get you pumped up for the night. What do you?

Don’t use alcohol. It’s a crutch that should be left in the refrigerator, or better yet, the trash.

Instead, try these three methods…

1. Blast your stereo while taking a shower.

It doesn’t matter if your high energy music is rap or country. Blast it everywhere prior to leaving your house.

We at Simple Pickup play our high volume music while we’re scrubbing ourselves in the shower, dressing up and even while we’re packing up snacks for the night.

You want your body to be energized when you head out the door.

“It’ll give you the confidence to

be able to talk to any hot girl.”

2. Create a mix CD to play on the way there.

You want this musical mix to be playing in the car as you ride to your destination. Let the melodies echo inside and outside of your car.

The music is there to pump you up. Please, drive safely.

3. Start talking to anyone and everyone on the street.

When you get out of your car, you shouldn’t just be approaching women. You should approach everyone and anyone right away.

We don’t care if it’s an old lady or the 7-11 cashier. Just approach them and start a quick conversation.

It will pump you up because it’ll give you the confidence and the preparation to be able to talk to any hot girl you run into later on in the night.

From now on when you go out, try these three tips.

It’s time you stay awake because hot girls love a guy who is energetically fun!

How do you get pumped up before going out to meet women?

Photo source: thebeatproject.wordpress.com.

In a recent study by the University of Queensland, researchers found women who were financially insecure preferred feminine-looking men, stating they felt the feminine men would make better providers and more committed partners than the masculine men.

Researchers used software to make online dating profile pictures either more masculine or more feminine and asked 700 participants to evaluate these profiles.

“Women felt feminine-looking men were less likely

to stray and more willing to share assets.”

Results showed women felt feminine-looking men were less likely to stray and more willing to share money and assets and masculine-looking men were more likely to cheat and less likely to share their resources.

However, participants who were ovulating or looking for a fling preferred the masculine-looking men.

Study co-author Dr. Shelli Dubbs said while the research may correlate broader changes in female preferences to larger economic trends, it’s important to note different women prefer different types of men depending on what those women are looking for.

“We always say that nice guys finish last, but this shows more masculine guys aren’t always preferred by women,” she said.

Source: The University of Queensland School of Psychology via news.com.au. Photo source: corbisimages.com.

If you’re in your 40s, 50s or 60s and it’s been more than a few weeks, months or even years since your last romantic first date, then that tells me you aren’t dating regularly.

Your sizzle may have lost some fizz. It’s time to get more sizzle into your social scene.

Give yourself a mini makeover.

Take a look at some fashion magazines that target women over 40.

Those fashion magazines will show you a number of contemporary hairstyles, lengths and products you might want to play with. Experiment with a few of them and see what they can do for you.

“When you have a date-worthy look,

you’re a date-ready midlife woman.”

Changes over the years.

Hair texture changes over the years and so does our skin tone.

Rather than using too much thick, cakey foundation to cover up the wrinkles forming around your eyes, use makeup that actually emphasizes them.

What would be a better choice to use instead?

Take a look around for lighter makeup and finishing powder which features “illuminating” or “radiance” qualities. Those offer a touch of frost which softly catch the light and flatter and enliven the face.

Also, try to wear color in your makeup because skin color diminishes after age 35.

Take a look at your wardrobe.

Yes, I am encouraging and giving you permission to get out there and shop!

Look at your clothes and see if you have any flowing feminine frocks you can wear for a first date or two. The note you want to aim for is “alluring” and figure friendly.

As Stacy and Clinton of “What Not to Wear” remind us, avoid the “Hootchie Mama” look. You want to look classy and alluring.

When you have a date-worthy look, you’re a date-ready midlife woman.

What part of the makeover do you see yourself starting with this week or next? Chime in at the comments section and let me know how I can be of assistance to you as your singles coach!

Photo source: makeup.em.uk.

“Client: David, how important is a car for meeting women?

Me: . . .”

Well, firstly, you need a car to get around. You don’t want to pick a woman up on your bicycle.

You certainly don’t want to drive around in your moped and pick her up.

So a car is important. I’d call it one of your biggest assets in your dating life, but there are a lot of misconceptions about cars.

Does the car have to be a great car in order to impress a woman? A lot of guys just don’t have the money to buy a really sweet ride.

Sure, deep down, every guy would love to be driving a Porsche or a BMW or an Audi. But a lot of guys out there are driving Toyotas and Hondas.

Here’s the deal:

It’s not the type of car that’s going to impress a woman. It’s the condition of the car that’s going to impress them.

When you go out on a date and you pick a woman up, you don’t want to be throwing things from the front seat to the back seat so she has a clean spot she can sit in.

You want your car to state you’re actually a well-kept man.

Your car should be clean whenever you pick a woman up on a date — the outside and the inside should be immaculate.

Your car should be free of any stank: no spilled beer, dog vomit or anything else that may turn her off instantly.

Your car needs to state the fact you’re a man who’s in control of your life.

“It gives her an impression of how you take

care of the things that are around you.”

It doesn’t matter what you drive.

It doesn’t matter if you’re driving a 2012 Audi or a 2000 Honda.

As long as that car is in great condition inside and out, clean and inviting, the woman is going to respect you.

A car is just a tool to get you around, but in the dating world, it’s the first impression a woman’s going to have of you.

So if you’re driving a Camry and the Camry is clean, it might impress her more than the guy that’s got the Audi that has stuff piled up in the back.

It’s all about how you take care of your things. It gives her an impression of who you are as a man and how you take care of the things that are around you.

The same goes for your house, but that will be another article for another day.

What does your car say about the kind of man you are?

Photo souce: sheknows.com.

According to research published by Andrew Elliot (University of Rochester), when a woman wears red, she sends out a clear signal she’s more interested in sex than if she wears a neutral tone.

As part of his investigation, Elliot showed heterosexual and bisexual men a picture of a woman and asked them to rate her attractiveness. Half the men saw the woman wearing a red shirt, while the other half saw the exact same woman wearing a white shirt.

The men who saw the woman in the red shirt said she was more interested in sex than the men who saw the woman wearing the white shirt.

Elliot conducted a similar experiment with a red shirt and a green shirt, once more finding the woman wearing the red shirt was seen as more attractive, suggesting it isn’t simply color that attracts men, but specifically the color red.

“The men who saw the woman in the red

shirt said she was more interested in sex.”

Elliot links the color red to sexual receptivity in mammals. Elliot explains the color red has a biological basis in sexual receptivity, ranging from blushing cheeks to swollen lips to aroused genitals.

To further strengthen this conclusion, Elliot tested and found men were most interested in women who were perceived as openly receptive to sexual advances, rather than women who were simply seen as good looking or likable.

As study researcher Adam Pazda concluded:

“Red leads to attractiveness precisely because it first leads to perceived sexual receptivity. It is receptivity that is ‘driving the bus’ for the red-attraction relation.”

Men like women who they find as sexually receptive, and wearing red appears to be a clear way to signal just that.

Source: Plosone.org. Photo source: idiva.com

The key to her enjoying a healthy dating life is her desire to have one! Yes ladies, the good news is it all begins with you.

Decide your dating life is a priority.

Enjoying a healthy dating life means you must first decide you desire a dating and social life and give it priority in your life.

When you decide to make it a priority, that means you put aside social dollars into your budget so you can attend events, purchase tickets and certainly invest in the personal grooming and wardrobe required to enjoy a sophisticated, contemporary social life.

Being over 50 years old need not mean your hairstyle and wardrobe are dowdy.

Many of the sizzling fashion magazines feature a section for style and provide image ideas for women to look alluring and sophisticated with contemporary fashions. Read them and incorporate some of the ideas into your wardrobe.

Put aside money each week and each month to continue to look your alluring best. Your wardrobe, style and image immediately and visually communicate to men that you are available and interested in them in just an instant!

What does your image say about you? Do you need to make a few adjustments to attract mature single men to you now?

“If you place yourself where the men frequent, then

you increase your chances at finding mature love.”

Meet many men.

One of the myths about senior dating is “There are very few single mature men.” That simply isn’t true.

Many men in their 50s and older are single again like you are, having divorced or been widowed.

I want to suggest to you to make the effort to really get out there each day and put yourself into both retail and social settings where you have the opportunity to meet quite a lot of men.

Men of all ages do frequent the auto parts stores, especially on the weekends.

On a Saturday morning, get up early and head out to the local coffee joint. The majority of people in line on a Saturday morning between 5:30 a.m. and 8:30 a.m. are men.

Additionally, men are the ones out at the home improvement stores on an early Saturday morning so they can get a jump on the weekend projects.

Yes, not all of them will be single. However, quite a number of them just might be. If you place yourself where the men frequent, then you systematically and strategically increase your chances at finding mature love, whatever your age!

Do keep a healthy perspective about socializing and look for where there are an abundance of men. By doing so, you’ll feel empowered for running your own single social life yourself rather than be at the whim of fate.

Be your own cupid by getting out and about each weekend and position yourself to meet many quality senior singles each week. You’ll have fun and support a healthy social life as you do so.