Any acts of passion can be far removed from your emotions, initiated by pressing a dating app on your smartphone.

Clubs are designed with the similar goal of instant gratification: Get in, get drunk, get off.

Where does old-fashioned romance stand in such a world?

Recently, I plucked up the courage to go over to a good-looking guy in a cafe and give him my number.

It was something I had never done before, despite having seen it done in countless films.

I wasn’t necessarily risking too much. I guessed he was gay from his body language and occasional eye contact, though I still played the “gay or European?” game in my head five times before doing anything.

In the end, I figured I had nothing to lose and the worst that could happen would be I’d be embarrassed for a short while.

It turned out — just my luck — the guy I gave my number to was indeed gay, but he had a boyfriend.

Funnily enough, I didn’t mind the outcome because I was more content with going out of my comfort zone and being able to approach him at all.

As an Irishman, it’s part of my culture to be friendly but not forward. Normally, I prefer not to be the one to make the first move, blaming it on shyness when it’s really laziness.

It made me get over myself, even if I didn’t get a date out of it! I guess you could say it was a pretty decent consolation prize.

“If you’re rejected, then you’ve still

learned to put yourself out there.”

So, here’s what I learned from such an experience:

1. Assess the situation.

If you’re in a gay-friendly place, then your chances of barking up the wrong tree are lessened somewhat.

Even if the guy you notice isn’t interested — for whatever reason — a public space ensures he won’t react too negatively, for fear of his own embarrassment. (Unless he’s just a jerk, in which case, he won’t be putting himself in a good light.)

2. Subtlety works better than you may think.

If you’re able to catch the guy’s attention (without making a fool of yourself!), all the better.

3. What have you got to lose?

If you’re single and you think there might be a chance, keep that in your mind. If you’re rejected like I was, then you’ve still learned to put yourself out there — without having to resort to your phone.

This doesn’t mean you should get out there right now and find an attractive guy to test your newfound confidence on — bide your time.

But you should know when a good opportunity comes up. Just make sure you have a pen and paper ready when it does!

How are you going to take your dating life offline?

Photo source: opposingviews.com.

These experts are all about giving women the tools they need to be smart, confident and successful in their everyday lives as well as their romantic relationships.

Dr. Wendy Walshdrwendywalsh.com

Bragging Rights: No-holds-barred attitude

As the resident expert for DatingAdvice.com and “America’s thought leader on relationships,” Dr. Wendy Walsh approaches dating advice with a no-holds-barred attitude. She breaks down the psychology of sex, love, gender roles, divorce, parenting and other human behaviors. No topic is taboo for this Ph.D.-wielding author of “The 30-Day Love Detox.”

Social Clout: 5,200 followers, 2,381 likes

URL: http://drwendywalsh.com/

Evan Marc Katzevanmarckatz.com

Bragging Rights: Helps women understand men

Billed as a “personal trainer for smart, strong, successful women,” Evan Marc Katz has been helping singles find love since 2003. Katz helps women understand men through his 12-Week Commitment Course, products, group coaching and one-on-one advice. Scared of commitment? Sign up for Katz’s free newsletter and he’ll send you his e-book, “5 Massive Mistakes.”

Social Clout:  6,298 followers, 3,627 likes

URL: http://evanmarckatz.com/

Patti Stangerpattistanger.sheknows.com

Bragging Rights: The Millionaire Matchmaker

Unless you’ve been living under a rock for the past decade, you’ve most likely heard of Patti Stanger, aka The Millionaire Matchmaker. A third generation matchmaker, Stanger founded the Millionaire’s Club in January of 2000 and has worked with thousands of clients, including celebrities, professional athletes, Fortune 500 business moguls and the “guy next door.”

Social Clout:  379,423 followers, 212,000 likes

URL: http://pattistanger.sheknows.com/

April Beyeraprilbeyer.com

Bragging Rights: Empowering women

As the host and expert matchmaker for VH1′s “Making Mr. Right,” Beyer works to empower women to challenge conventional dating advice. A down-to-earth dating consultant, relationship coach and matchmaker, Beyer gives women an intimate look into the hearts and minds of marriage-minded men by teaching women how to date, flirt and communicate.

Social Clout: 829 followers, 2,016 likes

URL: http://aprilbeyer.com/

Dr. Laura Bermandrlauraberman.com

Bragging Rights: The real deal

A world-renowned sex and relationship educator with more than 20 years experience, Dr. Laura Berman isn’t afraid to get to the nitty-gritty and (sometimes) embarrassing stuff like “toe-curling orgasms” and “are strap-ons your style?” Dr. Berman is the host of Oprah Winfrey Network’s “In The Bedroom with Dr. Laura Berman.” In short, Dr. Berman is the real deal.

Social Clout: 41,776 followers, 14,643 likes

URL: http://drlauraberman.com/

Amy Laurentamylaurent.com

Bragging Rights: One of your girlfriends

With an 88 percent success rate in finding clients a serious relationship within the first three months, Amy Laurent is a multifaceted matchmaker with a hands-on approach. She’s also on the cast of Bravo’s “Miss Advised.” If you’re looking for a relationship expert who will keep your head on straight and talk to you like you’re one of her girlfriends, then look no further than Laurent.

Social Clout: 7,172 followers, 607 likes

URL: http://amylaurent.com/

Simone Biennesimonebienne.com

Bragging Rights: Advice powerhouse

Simone Bienne helps women reach their full potential in life, love and sex and often uses celebrity relationships to relate to our own love lives. Bienne has been dubbed “The Marriage Saver” and “The Mary Poppins of Sex” and became the first female co-host of Loveline with Dr. Drew. Bienne is a licensed psychosexual and relationship therapist with credits including Fox TV, NBC and CNN.

Social Clout: 36,361 followers, 2,468 likes

URL: http://simonebienne.com/

Marni Battistadatingwithdignity.com

Bragging Rights: Humorous and supportive

As founder of Dating with Dignity, Marni Battista is a life coach who is humorous, supportive and never shy to point out the little things women do that could be driving men away. Check out Battista’s “Manimals” section where she describes the different categories of men, including Mr. Elusive, The Hunter, Mr. Quality Casual and The Cry Baby.

Social Clout: 2,327 followers, 1,451 likes

URL: http://datingwithdignity.com/

Tracey Steinbergtraceysteinberg.com

Bragging Rights: A hodgepodge of coaching services

Tracey Steinberg is the “Dateologist.” A coach and flirting expert, Steinberg hosts her own call-in live television show in New York City called “Dating Help 911!” She offers a hodgepodge of coaching services, including one-on-one dating, expert emergency help sessions, dating and relationship classes and flirting parties.

Social Clout:  278 followers, 153 likes

URL: http://traceysteinberg.com/

Suzie A.singledatingdiva.com

Bragging Rights: Perky and sincere

As founder of Single Dating Diva, a “blog dedicated to single and dating people everywhere,” Suzie is an award-winning writer who utilizes catchy headlines and subjects to share the lessons she’s learned along the way. Perky, sincere and open, Suzie will make you re-evaluate how you’re living your life.

Social Clout:  3,273 followers, 238 likes

URL: http://singledatingdiva.com/

Featured photo source: spectacledmarketer.com.

Most men would now prefer a woman to say hello, or at least display some sign of interest in chatting with them.

If you have your eye on a guy and want to strike up a conversation, here a few easy tips on the best way to do so!

1. Give him a sign.

Playing aloof and avoiding a man’s stare stopped working years ago, so if you are still holding on to the old “play hard to get” proverb when it comes to men approaching you, it’s no wonder you’re still single.

Men these days need a sign that you are interested.

In my book, “You Lost Him at Hello: From Dating to ‘I Do,’” I advise women to use a technique called the S.E.E. Factor.

It stands for Smile, Eye Contact, Energy.

You can use it anywhere and with any guy you fancy. Just smile, lock eyes for a full two to three seconds and exude a good, positive energy.

This will send him the message you are not only open to a conversation, but you are available for one (i.e. you aren’t taken by another man!)

Most guys fear rejection, so the S.E.E. Factor will give them the confidence they need to say hello.

“Warm yourself up by smiling and

talking to everyone around you.”

2. Break the ice.  

While it may be hard for you to even imagine initiating a conversation with a guy, it’s actually quite easy and effective.

I, myself, met my husband by talking to him first.

But I didn’t just walk over and introduce myself. I used an icebreaker so it didn’t seem like I was singling him out because I was interested.

I just calmly and casually leaned over and said, “May I borrow your menu?”

You can use a variety of icebreakers to open a conversation with a man and still maintain the element of the chase.

He doesn’t know you specifically picked his menu to borrow or his watch to tell you the time, but if you do this while giving him that S.E.E. factor, chances are good he will keep the conversation rolling!

3. Spread the love.

Don’t sit on your bar stool all night waiting for that one hottie to walk in. Warm yourself up by smiling and talking to everyone around you.

Chat with the bartender or the girl sitting next to you. This way you won’t be nervous to do it when it counts, and you will seem more approachable to the guys who may be watching.

And who knows, you may strike up a conversation with someone you thought you weren’t interested in but who turns out to be a real catch! So don’t prejudge.

What do you say when approaching a guy first?

Photo source: makeagirllikeyoutips.com.

As your head swirls with imagery on how you might approach him, your body tenses as you begin to worry about how you might be perceived and fears of rejection and embarrassment immobilize you.

Frozen in place, you try to muster up the courage to put one foot in front of the other, but before you can contemplate your opening line, he walks out of the bar with a group of his friends. Opportunity lost.

Is this scenario all too familiar?

I conducted a poll on my website once asking single gay men if they tended to initiate contact with a man they found interesting or if they waited to be pursued.

The overwhelming majority of respondents indicated they were passive daters, meaning they waited for men to approach them to start conversations.

The sad reality of this is if most men wait to be approached, very few contacts are made.

How many great relationships could have gotten off the ground had someone made that first move?

Refuse to allow yourself to be one of those liability statistics.

To be successful in dating, one must be a proactive dater by being in the driver’s seat and making things happen through one’s own initiative.

This can be a scary venture.

Nobody likes the idea of being rejected or being in a position of being judged and scrutinized if that object of your interest is surrounded by his posse of friends.

Being a proactive dater does come with an element of risk.

However, your odds of making a connection are greater if you take the lead, since most others won’t reach out first.

And this scenario then only leads itself to a bar full of men leaning against the wall, sipping their drinks and trying to look busy, all the while desperately hoping someone will talk to them.

Here are some tips for boosting your confidence to initiate contact with more men who grab your attention.

“Each attempt you make will make you

a little bit stronger over any anxiety.”

1. Breathe!

Inhale deeply from your gut up your nose, hold it about seven seconds, and then deeply release the air out through your mouth.

Repeat this exercise until you feel more grounded and less controlled by your nerves.

Approaching someone when you’re on the verge of a panic attack will likely interfere with your delivery and your anxiety will be noticed.

2. Come up with a good opening line.

But no cheese please! Corny one-liners are outdated and you’re here to make a good first impression.

Referring to something within the environment can be a natural segue into a conversation that would make sense. Saying or doing something creative can go a long way.

And nothing beats the no-frills, “Hi, my name is Tom. May I buy you a drink?” to get the ball rolling.

3. Validate the other person.

A best-kept secret to forming a good impression with someone you’ve just met is to validate that other person.

Find something about him that warrants some positive feedback.

It has to be authentic and genuine, however, lest it will come across as fake and like you have a hidden agenda.

By making someone feel good about themselves, studies have shown their perceptions of you are heightened.

My favorite book on this subject is “First Impressions: What You Don’t Know About How Others See You” by Ann Demarais and Valerie White.

4. Confidence.

When you imagine approaching someone and you find yourself unable to follow through, more often than not your self-talk has interfered and creates anxiety and low confidence.

Write down on a piece of paper all the thoughts you have that undermine your ability to approach someone.

Work hard at developing believable counter statements to these negative thoughts and practice frequently so they become internalized.

To claim the prize of a compatible boyfriend, a gay dater must work on developing his assertiveness skills to go after what he wants.

Passivity in dating often times yields minimal results.

We have to take responsibility for our own outcomes and avoid the victim mentality trap. By living with more initiative, your confidence will gradually grow.

While you won’t be successful with every effort, each attempt you make will make you a little bit stronger over any anxiety and insecurity and will increase the probability of making a connection with a handsome stranger, much more so than what had you standing on the sidelines.

Be the chooser and go out and make it happen for yourself!

What’s your secret for approaching men?

Photo source: photoshelter.com.

Straight men can safely assume the women they meet in bars are straight, and if those women aren’t straight, making this assumption isn’t seen as a big faux pas.

Gay men, by contrast, not only need to deal with the potential embarrassment involved with approaching a straight man and assuming he’s gay, they also need to worry for their physical safety, as even though we live in a more accepting environment than we ever have before, it’s not like gay men aren’t still assaulted for making an incorrect guess about a man’s sexuality (or a man’s comfort with his sexuality).

That being said, it isn’t impossible for gay men to meet other gay men at bars — far from it. Gay men just generally need to be a little more cautious and calculated about who they approach and how they approach those guys in bars.

Stick to gay bars.

Even with bars hosting an increasingly mixed-sexuality crowd these days, especially in major metropolitan areas, the most convenient way for a gay man to approach another gay man in a bar is to primarily pick up men at gay bars.

Even if the man you approach at a gay bar ends up being straight, you’re unlikely to put yourself in a negative situation for making the move.

Straight men in gay bars tend to be at least a little more progressive than the average straight man in a straight bar, a straight man in gay bar has likely already been approached a dozen times before you made your move, and no straight man can really be offended if he gets hit on by dudes while he’s hanging out in a gay bar.

Yet, not every gay man wants to exclusively hang out in gay bars, and aside from increased convenience, there’s no reason you have to.

“Sending obvious indicators

of interest is very simple.”

Use your friends.

There are a bunch of ways you can use your friends to help identify the sexuality of men at bars.

You can have your female friends come on to the guy you’re interested in while you observe his reactions. You can have your friends go up and ask men at bars whether they’re gay or straight. Lots of gay men have their friends ask this question for them and then bring the man back to the group if he’s also gay.

And don’t forget, if you hang out at the same bars with the same friends regularly, there’s a good chance someone in your group will recognize and have a bead on the sexuality of the men you see, so drill them for information before you make your approach.

Just approach.

Yes, it’s difficult, nerve-racking and potentially dangerous to approach a man at a bar when you don’t know his sexuality, but there’s a really easy way to figure out which side of the fence he swings on.

Show visible interest in him and see if he reciprocates. Straight men will usually catch on when a man is making eyes at them and they won’t make eyes back.

Sending obvious indicators of interest and gauging responses is a very simple, easy and often accurate way to judge whether a man will welcome your approach or not.

Like the boy, he’s comfortable in his skin and doesn’t see life through the single eye of his penis. Like the young man, his mind is always busy with some project or idea, and he knows a lot about a variety of topics — but still has an eye for the ladies. And he’s a joy to be around and easy to please, like good ol’ Duke.

Striking up a conversation with a senior man is child’s play compared to what you ladies went through to meet guys at the discos of the 1970s. For young people, everything has sexual innuendo attached to it.

But a man in his 50s, 60s and beyond is not going to view your approach through a sexual filter, and he is going to see you for the sweet, friendly woman you are. All conversations are welcome and all approaches from women are unexpected pleasures.

Your risk of rejection is extremely low. And, unlike the guys you used to flirt with at the disco, he’s not going make any assumptions about your intentions or virtue.

There’s no doubt that he would love to get to know you, so just keep it comfortable and natural. Try some of these tips to help you approach him.

Catch him looking at you.

Older men have learned to smell the roses and enjoy the little things in life, unabashed and unconstrained by uptight social customs. If he sees something (or someone) worth looking at, he is going to take a moment to enjoy nature’s artistry.

There’s a good chance the object of his attention will be you.

So, call him on it, in a good-natured flirtatious way, with a smile on your face: “What are you looking at?” Chances are, he’ll play along — and maybe even tell you exactly what he was looking at.

Or, just use his visual attraction to you to establish eye contact, give him a smile and approach him with a greeting or question that fits the circumstances and location.

Eye contact establishes a human link and a fleeting bond of familiarity, so act right away while you “know” each other and get the ball rolling. Remember, he’s friendly and won’t bite.

Ask him for help or directions.

Every man is always eager to help a lady. Go to the “man” store, like Lowe’s or Home Depot, and ask him for advice on a screen door, deadbolt, mower or lawn rake. He will probably have some good information and might even offer to help you with your project.

At the supermarket, you can help him choose when you see him looking over the kinds of soup or cuts of beef. At the mall, you can ask him how to find the bookstore (which probably has a coffee shop, so invite him along).

In the parking lot, you can ask him to hold your bag of groceries while you open your car door. If you see a man slow down and watch to see if you can carry those bags or open that door, he wants to help, so make his day and ask him.

No man can resist the opportunity to assist a damsel in distress.

Get him involved.

If you volunteer or attend a social organization, or find yourself in any kind of group setting, men will be there, too. If you see him standing around, just enlist his help. He can set up extra chairs for the overflow at the church dinner, or you can encourage him to speak up in the class or meeting.

If you know him from your apartment building or work, invite him to come along with you to your group for widows and widowers or divorced seniors, to the gym, to your volunteer group or even to the store.

Senior men have been tamed by life and by the women they have known, so they are not hard to approach. Most of them are well-behaved, good-natured, gentle-spirited and polite.

A conversation with you is bound to be the highlight of his day, so give him a treat and say hello. He won’t mind missing the beginning of “America’s Got Talent” if he can spend a little time with you.

There’s this guy I go to college with and we used to be really close friends. Eventually I ended up liking him but he ended up liking this other girl. Apparently he’s single now. He’s just really nice to everyone so it’s hard to tell what he’s thinking, which is why I messed up before and thought that he liked me.

So what am I supposed to do? I don’t want to be pathetic or annoying or anything by trying to pursue him, but I don’t want to just be his friend.

-Kelsey W. (Massachusetts)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

I love it when my sweet writers answer their own question. You just told me clearly what you don’t want to be: A woman who pursues unrequited love, nor a woman who swallows her feelings just to be near a guy.

So, take a deep breath girlfriend and try to become the woman you want to be: A woman who is honest but not a doormat. It’s time to suck it up and put on one big flirt to let him know you are interested.

If he doesn’t take the bait, move away. Your disappearance will give him an opportunity to pursue you if he’s interested. If he’s not, don’t hang around and injure yourself.

You know what you want and what you don’t. And that’s a huge step to finding real love.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Learning how to handle this powerful emotional experience, one that makes you want to both run away and stay forever, is a crucial element of asking another man out.

Don’t fight it.

You’ll find endless articles online devoted to dealing with this experience, which is often defined as “approach anxiety.” If you find the idea of asking a man out difficult, you’ve probably read some of these articles before.

While well meaning, most of these articles suffer from a big problem — their advice doesn’t work. Most so-called experts argue you need to either ignore approach anxiety or overpower it.

Every man alive knows it’s impossible to ignore approach anxiety. Distract yourself all you want, but the second you actually take action and speak to this man all those conflicting feelings will rush right back.

Overpowering approach anxiety is just as problematic a notion. No matter how strong willed you think you are, this deep biological impulse is more powerful.

If you can’t trick approach anxiety or wrestle it to the ground, how can you deal with it? Simple — you can use it.

Instead of letting this rush of emotions paralyze you, let this powerful experience energize you. Use it as emotional fuel, as energy, and let it propel you forward. Feel nervous and flustered and afraid, feel it deeply, and work off of it.

Have you ever been able to achieve something you thought was impossible by tapping into a seemingly negative emotional experience before? Have you ever used anger to accomplish something beyond your normal abilities?

Using approach anxiety as emotional fuel works the exact same way.

“Asking a man out doesn’t need to be complicated

and it doesn’t need to be overly difficult.”

Once you’re in, you’re in.

Actually approaching a man is the hardest part of lining up a date. Once you go up to a man and meet him, you will immediately feel most of your anxiety subside.

I’m not saying it’s all smooth sailing as soon as you start a conversation with an attractive man, but I am saying the approach itself is the hardest part.

During your conversation, you will still feel nervous and jittery, but you’ll be a lot more functional than you were before you made your first move.

Once you’re talking to a man, there are a couple bits of information you want to discover before asking him out:

• Is he gay?
• Is he single?
• Does he find you attractive?

Once you determine the answer to each of these questions is “yes,” then you’re in a great position to ask him out.

Get this information naturally. Don’t grill or interrogate him, but simply share an enjoyable conversation. Make sure you stumble into the first two points, and then pay attention to his body language to determine whether he’s attracted to you.

Once you know he’s available and feels interest in you, all you need to do is ask him out. Asking a man out is still a little nerve-racking, but it’s much easier than taking that first step and approaching him.

Keep your request casual, keep it along the lines of grabbing a cup of coffee or a drink sometime to continue your conversation, and ask him out in a confident but relaxed manner.

No matter what he says, continue to talk to him for another minute or two, and then leave.

Asking a man out doesn’t need to be complicated and it doesn’t need to be overly difficult. If you learn to ride through that wave of powerful emotions known as approach anxiety, then every other step of the process will unfold with incredible ease.

1. Attracted to your gender.
2. Attracted to you specifically.
3. Single.

Figuring all this out may be a little tricky, but it’s hardly impossible.

Is he gay or straight?

This is the first question you need to answer before you get a guy’s number. Sometimes it will be difficult to tell and sometimes it won’t. Context tends to play a really big role here.

For example, it’s easier to know a man’s orientation when you meet him through friends, co-workers, family, or some other social structure.

While it can be difficult to know a man’s orientation if you see him in a coffee shop or meet him on the street, if he’s in with people you know, then all you need to do is ask those people which team he plays for.

If you meet a man in a social situation (such as a bar) but you don’t know the people he’s with, you can still ask them and they’ll likely to tell you.

Of course, if you meet a man in a gay-centered environment (such as a gay bar or club), then you have a pretty good idea of his orientation.

Still, always try and ask someone around him, as traditionally gay and traditionally straight environments are starting to blend together a lot more than they did five to 10 years ago.

If you don’t have anyone around you to ask who might know his orientation, then you’re going to need to get it out of him yourself. This doesn’t have to be difficult and it doesn’t have to be a big deal.

Generally speaking, if you talk about your own love life or experiences in the dating world, in a casual and offhand manner, most other people, gay or straight, will follow suit with a similar level of specificity.

“Ask for a man’s number before the two of you are about to part,

and keep the conversation going after you get his number.”

Is he attracted to you?

After you’ve determined your man is gay, it’s time to figure out whether he’s interested in you.

There are a million little tells you can pick up on to see if a man likes you or not, but instead of confusing yourself trying to memorize and remember all of them in the moment, pay attention to the following signals.

1. Is he staying physically close to you or keeping his distance?

Pay attention to his proximity, and pay attention to how it changes when you shift closer to him or away from him and when you lean forward or back.

The closer a man will get to you, the more he likes you. There are some shy guys who will remain physically closed off even if they like you, but overall, proximity is a good indicator of interest.

2. Is he continuing to talk to you?

Yes, some people are friendlier than others, but generally speaking, as long as a man continues to speak with you, even if you give him an out not to, then he likes you and is interested.

Getting his number.

This is the easiest part of the whole experience. If you know a man is gay, and if you know he’s interested in you, then asking for his number will be easy.

Be simple, be direct, and be light about it. Instead of getting very serious, just ask “Would you want to get a drink or a cup of coffee some time?”

It doesn’t need to be more complicated than that, and often if you try to complicate it further, you will simply fail.

As a final note, ask for a man’s number before the two of you are about to part, and continue to talk to him and keep the conversation going after you get his number.

Doing so makes the whole thing feel more natural and comfortable than if you just went for the number right away and then ran off.

Single senior men, however, often assume that romance is a thing of the past, no longer relevant or possible in their lives. What does this mean for you? Sometimes a senior lady has to take the bull by the horns.

When he just doesn’t take the hint, it becomes your job to help him discover that respecting the past does not mean he has to give up his future.

If you’re waiting for that great, eligible senior man to call you for a date, you may be wasting precious moments. There are plenty of ways for a modern woman in her 50s, 60s or beyond to get the romantic ball rolling now — while still remaining an old-fashioned girl.

1. Let him know you’re available to him.

You share great conversations, abundant laughter and have so many things in common. You even see that little glint in his eye from time to time that tells you he sees you as more than a friend. But maybe his respect for your past or for his own leaves him unable to act.

You just have to give him some kind of encouragement. Let him know you would welcome any interest he has in getting closer to you.

Don’t tell him he’s a really good friend. Tell him he makes you feel young again, he makes you see all the possibilities that life still holds, he’s the kind of man you were always attracted to as a young woman, and you feel great comfort, warmth and zest for life when you’re near him.

Reach across the table and put your hand on his. Look in his eyes and tell him that if he ever wants your company on his daily walk, at dinner time or for watching his favorite TV show, you would be happy to be there. If you plant the seed, he’s more likely to ask you out.

“It is easier for you now than ever before to

talk openly with a man while just being yourself.”

2. Ask him to accompany you.

Even today, women generally wait for the man to make the first move when it comes to dating. But you can always ask him to escort you somewhere you are already planning to go.

Maybe Rose went to Colorado to help with her daughter’s new baby, so you need a fourth person for your weekly Canasta game. Invite him. There’s an ice cream social at the senior center next week? Bring him along.

Your kids are all coming home for the weekend and you could really use a hand with the grilling and would love to introduce him to your family. Perfect!

Or maybe your conversation gets to a point where it would make sense to invite him to accompany you to the gym, the grocery store or church. Or maybe you can go and vote together. The possibilities are endless.

This way, you’re not asking him to take you on a date. You’re just asking him to be your escort. It’s low pressure for both you and him, and it’s a great way to bring a senior man into your life.

Once you leave the church or the gym or the polling place, it’s up to you to keep things going by suggesting lunch, coffee or drinks. And don’t forget to end it with, “We should do something like this more often!”

3. Ask him on a daytime date.

This is one of my favorite ideas for breaking the ice between potential lovers of all ages, and I come back to it again and again. There is something so formal, intimidating and “real” about a full-production, fully-costumed evening date that makes it seem like a bigger deal and bigger commitment than it needs to be.

A daytime date can be casual, comfortable and totally nonthreatening for all parties. It might even be a “stealth” date that you don’t have to label as a date at all.

But if you play your cards right, when it’s over he will definitely know he was on a real date with a great lady who actually cares about him. What’s not to love about that?

A walk in the park, a barefoot stroll along the beach, a trip to the museum for the new exhibit, or a visit to the street fair is a great way to have fun and start a bond growing with someone you care about.

Take his hand briefly from time to time and see how he responds to it. The chilly afternoon breeze can be a good excuse to put your head on his shoulder on a park bench or to move in close so he can put his arm around you. If there’s chemistry, this will help it bubble to the surface.

4. Just do it.

Sometimes the best way to ask a man out is to just ask him out! Find a topic in the conversation if you can and use it as an opportunity.

Turn the conversation to a movie trailer you saw on TV that looks interesting. If he seems to be interested in it as well, suggest that you go and see it together. Talk about your favorite restaurants, find out where he likes to eat, or mention a place you just heard about or have always been meaning to try.

When you hit one that seems to appeal to him, jump on the opportunity and ask him if he would like to join you there. Group dates or tagging along on a date with another couple can also be an easier way to suggest that he spend the evening in your company.

Dating rituals haven’t really changed much over the years. But the good news is that you have changed in a lot of positive ways.

It is easier for you now than ever before to talk openly with a man while just being yourself. You know how to pick the good ones, and you know how to read his mind.

Just lead him in the right direction, with a little help from these tips, and you’ll be dating that lucky guy next week.