An exclusive study conducted by DatingAdvice.com found one in four Americans look for humor the most when evaluating someone on a first date.

After surveying more than 1,000 respondents from across the country, a sense of humor beat out other qualities like good looks, money and morality.

In terms of gender, women were 13 percent more likely than men to rank humor as the most important characteristic.

Clinical psychologist and DatingAdvice.com expert Dr. Wendy Walsh said these results back up previous research that shows both genders rank intelligence and kindness above sexual attractiveness.

“A sense of humor is correlated with intelligence, and intelligence is related to resource potential” she said. “You have to have a quick mind to understand the double meanings in jokes that tickle our funny bone.”

“Since most comedy is tragedy viewed from across the street, humor is a positive coping mechanism against depression. And who wants a depressed mate?” she added.

“Twenty-seven percent of Caucasians rated humor

first, while 18 percent of African-Americans did so.”

Caucasians were also among the most likely groups to put humor above other qualities – 27 percent versus 18 percent of African-Americans.

Conversely, one of the least likely groups to place an emphasis on humor was low-wage earners. Those making less than $25,000 a year had a 62 percent lower likelihood of choosing humor as the most important quality than those earning between $100,000 and $125,000 a year.

The Breakdown: Americans Who Look for Humor the Most in a Partner

By gender:

• Male: 23%
• Female: 26%

By sexuality:

• Straight: 24%
• Gay: 24%

By marital status:

• Single, Never Married: 25%
• Married: 25%
• Divorced: 22%

By age:

• 18 to 24: 24%
• 25 to 34: 29%
• 35 to 44: 22%
• 45 to 54: 25%
• 54 to 64: 26%
• 65 and older: 21%

By race:

• White: 27%
• African-American: 18%
• Hispanic: 21%
• Asian: 26%

By income:

• Under $25,000: 21%
• $25,000 to $49,999: 28%
• $50,000 to $74,999: 23%
• $75,000 to $99,999: 27%
• $100,000 to $124,999: 34%
• $125,000 or higher: 26%

By region:

• Northeast: 28%
• Midwest: 29%
• South: 20%
• West: 25%

Visit DatingAdvice.com/Studies for more research on dating and relationship topics. Relationship expert Dr. Wendy Walsh is a frequent contributor on CNN and other major networks and is the author of the new book “The 30-Day Love Detox.” Photo source: perfectdatetips.com.

A new study finds praying for your other half can lead to more forgiving behavior and a more cooperative relationship.

Led by former Florida State University doctoral student Nathaniel Lambert, who is now an assistant professor at Brigham Young University, the study found those who prayed more frequently for their partner were found to be less vengeful when discussing their partner’s bad qualities.

The study involved five methods to determine whether partner-focused prayer shifts individuals toward more cooperative behaviors and tendencies.

Undergraduate volunteers at FSU, who self-identified as being comfortable with prayer, were used for the research.

“Those who prayed were found to be less vengeful

when discussing their partner’s bad qualities.”

Co-author Frank Fincham, eminent scholar and director of the FSU Family Institute, said researchers know very little about the role prayer plays in romantic relationships.

“This is the first time that objective indicators have documented the impact of prayer in such relationships,” he said.

The study points out the goal of the research was to move beyond the limitations of previous, self-reported data.

The study further notes “not all prayer is expected to have the effects observed. In particular, prayer focused on other attributes of God, such as justice, omniscience and wisdom, would not be expected to produce the same effect as prayer focused on beneficence, love or mercy.”

Lambert and his colleagues are anticipating further study, applying the same methods to an older and more ethically diverse sampling of couples to ensure the results are not limited to just young adult relationships.

Source: Wiley.com. Photo source: bp.blogspot.com.

Most first date conversations consist of topics like movies, hobbies and jobs, but what about exes or breakups?

Despite being somewhat taboo, a new study conducted by DatingAdvice.com found one-third of Americans don’t mind discussing their dating past while on a first date.

The results show men were 6 percent more likely than women to feel comfortable with such discussions.

The highest response came from divorcees. Forty-two percent of divorced respondents said it’s OK to talk about past relationships during the first time out with someone, while only 34 percent of single respondents said the same.

Clinical psychologist and DatingAdvice.com expert Dr. Wendy Walsh said the fact more women than men are hesitant when talking about past romantic partners on a first date shows there is a sexual double standard at work.

“Women lose cultural points with too many past partners. Men gain points for sexual experience,” she said.

“Hispanics had a 56 percent lower likelihood to

have this discussion than any other ethnicity.”

Age appeared to suggest people might become more relaxed with discussing their exes and the like as they grow older. While one out of three 18- to 24-year-olds felt the topics were appropriate, that number jumps to two in five for 54- to 64-year-olds.

Race showed few significant indicators with the exception of Hispanics, who were found to have a 56 percent lower likelihood of discussing past relationships on a first date than whites, African-Americans or Asians.

Dr. Walsh said most Americans may feel uncomfortable bringing up these subject matters on a first date because they feel guilt or regret about their past dating experiences.

“Either we carry a lot of shame about our failed relationships, we want to present a ‘clean slate’ to a future romantic partner, or we are becoming a nation that is emotionally avoidant and tender topics bring us fear,” she said.

The Breakdown: Americans Who Think It’s OK to Discuss Past Relationships On First Dates

By gender:

• Male: 37%
• Female: 35%

By sexuality:

• Straight: 36%
• Gay: 41%

By marital status:

• Single, Never Married: 34%
• Married: 36%
• Divorced: 42%

By age:

• 18 to 24: 30%
• 25 to 34: 38%
• 35 to 44: 37%
• 45 to 54: 34%
• 54 to 64: 40%
• 65 and older: 36%

By race:

• White: 38%
• African-American: 38%
• Hispanic: 25%
• Asian: 39%

By income:

• Under $25,000: 32%
• $25,000 to $49,999: 37%
• $50,000 to $74,999: 37%
• $75,000 to $99,999: 42%
• $100,000 to $124,999: 46%
• $125,000 or higher: 37%

By region:

• Northeast: 34%
• Midwest: 38%
• South: 35%
• West: 36%

Visit DatingAdvice.com/Studies for more research on dating and relationship topics. Relationship expert Dr. Wendy Walsh is a frequent contributor on CNN and other major networks and is the author of the new book “The 30-Day Love Detox.” Photo source: youngandrestlesstoronto.wordpress.com.

Kathryn had been eating me out, asking me what I liked and what I wanted. I tried to sputter out some words, but I was embarrassed.

My primary partner J. and I hardly ever talked during sex (if there was any verbal conversation, it would be about the news – not about sex) and I didn’t know how to respond.

Kathryn had moved and was now lying next to me, masturbating. Her husband Jake had moved into her previous spot. As he starts licking me, Kathryn asks me, “Do you like that?” I nod, “Mmm hmm.”

She starts telling Jake what I like:

“Ooo yeah. She likes slow, long licks. Don’t you? Oh yeah, Jake, do it like that…” And on and on. I can’t even remember all of it.

All of a sudden, Jake looks up from between my legs and gives Kathryn a look of disapproval reserved for a long-term partner.

Kathryn snaps out of her sexy high and says, “Oh, I’m sorry. Is that too much?” Jake replies in an annoyed, deadpan voice, “Yeah. It is.” I was in tears from laughing so hard.

What makes me laugh now, though, is the fact J. and I have become some of the filthiest dirty talkers I know.

We don’t do the same kind of dirty talk Kathryn is known for (talking about what was going on in the moment), although sometimes I really like that: “Oh, you’re doing __. Oh, do this. Oh, do you like that? Oh, I love that.”

“Dirty talk provides the

mental stimulation I need.”

We fantasize together a lot.

We engage in a lot of fantasy dirty talk about past experiences, experiences planned for the future or true fantasies (they most likely will never happen).

I guess it is helpful that we have similar fantasies and can share them in this way.

Often our fantasies are about me with other men. It turns us both on to insane levels to whisper about me getting men off in various ways and places.

We also fantasize about threesomes with other women and about foursomes with other couples.

We incorporate things that really turn me on, like being tied up, being submissive to men, being dominant to women, being an exhibitionist or having sex in a public place.

It’s true our brain is our biggest sex organ.

Given enough mental stimulation, we both can almost reach orgasm without much physical stimulation.

What I have discovered is: mental stimulation + relaxation + body awareness and being present = a surefire way to have explosively delicious sex.

Dirty talk certainly provides the mental stimulation I need to get my engines roaring. I thank Kathryn for introducing dirty talk into my life! I can’t imagine our sex life without it now.

Do you talk dirty during sex, or do you let your partner do all the talking? What are you comfortable verbalizing and what do you keep quiet about? I’d love to hear any experiences you’ve had when talking dirty.

Photo source: collegemagazine.com.

I have (officially) been dating a girl for two months now, but I’ve been best friends with her for about 14 years.

Is it too soon to tell her I love her?

-Trevan (Kentucky)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Sweet Trevan, my heart leapt when I read your question. I’m so happy for you guys.

You did everything right. You began with a solid friendship. Of course you love her! You always did.

If your question about when to tell her has to do with whether this will scare her off, then wait until you have a better sense of her feelings and her ability to tolerate emotional intimacy and commitment.

Often women say the magical “I love you” first, both because women are more verbal and because they tend to fall in love faster.

Take some time to gauge her feelings. I know you are sure about yours.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

I was diagnosed with aggressive rheumatoid arthritis two years ago. I am very honest in telling my date about my disorder.

I am a very attractive professional and you could not tell just by looking at me. But my honesty has constantly cost me to lose all my prospective dates or relationships.

How honest should you be when you have an autoimmune disorder and you’re dating? Is there a dating website for people like myself?

-Shar (Florida)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Shar,

I’m sorry to hear about your health problems, and I hope you are doing everything within your control to manage your health and make positive lifestyle choices.

One of the best things for one’s health, as you probably know, is a secure relationship, so I applaud you for making the proactive decision to find the love you deserve.

While there are no hard and fast rules about when you should tell a prospective lover about your health, I can tell you this: People who self-identify with their illness are sometimes perceived as unattractive because they appear like a victim.

Individuals with positive attitudes think of their health issues as merely a speed bump on the road of life.

I’m not saying this is you, but I am suggesting how you communicate information is sometimes more important than the information itself.

As for when to tell a romantic interest, I might suggest waiting at least a few dates, but definitely explain before the onset of the sexual relationship.

Build some trust and friendship before you disclose too much and deliver the news with a positive “I’m taking charge of this challenge” attitude. Good luck to you!

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Is it because you want sexual variety? You have a fetish or kink your partner isn’t interested in pursuing with you? You would rather not choose between people you love?

What kind of open relationship structure do you desire?

Do you want partnered nonmonogamy, swinging, polyamory?

This will help you describe to your partner how you envision your open relationship and what behaviors you want to be part of your relationship structure (sexual/erotic intimacy, emotional intimacy, etc.).

Take some time to articulate for yourself why this relationship style is important to you so you are prepared to discuss your reasons with your partner.

Know you deserve to be happy and you also have a responsibility to act with integrity and be honest with your partner.

When talking with your partner, make sure to communicate calmly and with patience and compassion. Provide your partner with reassurance that you care for them.

Take things slow and allow your partner to absorb the new ideas before expecting or trying to drastically change your relationship. Be willing to negotiate.

There are definitely individuals who advocate for an open relationship as a way to move forward once their cheating behavior is revealed.

This can be extremely difficult to do. Bridging from a dishonest “monogamous” relationship to an honest open relationship is tricky and requires rebuilding trust, honesty and healing.

“If you are interested in an open relationship,

begin to articulate your desires.”

What to do if your partner wants to open up your relationship.

Do your best to listen with compassion, even if it feels like a shock.

Remember, your partner has good intentions and they took the difficult path to be honest with you about their desires and needs instead of going down a path of dishonesty.

That alone is an indication your relationship has some trust and stability.

Ask your partner questions, ask for reassurance if you need it, and give yourself the time and space to process their desires.

Engage in some self-awareness work.

Ask yourself: Is this something that sounds good to me? How can I feel safe, secure and happy in an open relationship? What might I get out of an open relationship?

If you decide you are interested in pursuing an open relationship, begin to articulate what your desires are.

Do they line up with your partner’s? Can you negotiate to continue having a relationship together?

If you find after reflection you do not want to engage in an open relationship, be honest with yourself and your partner. You both deserve to be happy, whether that is in a monogamous or open relationship.

Good luck!

Ladies, how would you tell your partner you want an open relationship? How would you react if your partner wanted an open relationship?

Photo source: visualphotos.com.

I go to a community college and there is a girl I like that goes there as well. The problem is she’s always walking. She’s never sitting at a table so I can just sit with her and talk.

The only way I can talk to her is just wait for her class to end and walk with her as she walks by the lounge.

What can I do to make a move on her without her thinking I’m a creep?

-Shane (Pennsylvania)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Shane,

Particles in motion attract other particles in motion.

Obviously if you are standing at her classroom door every time she exits, you will be taken for a creeper. But if you happen to run into her at random intervals, then get in stride and start talking.

After you’ve developed a rapport, ask her to meet for coffee sometime.

On the other hand, if you are having trouble developing a rapport because you find her walking faster when you appear, then you have an answer my dear. Find another target – maybe one who is not moving.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

And things sure have changed since the last time you met single women and went on dates.

Sure, some things remain the same. There is still the social etiquette the man pays for the dates – certainly the first date.

However, some things are very different.

When you last went on a date, it might have been when the current scene was pushing for women to be more sensitive and open up more in early dates.

There was almost a push for being super open from the get-go.

However, since your senior lady date is a complete stranger, no matter how lovely she is, I recommend keeping the topics light.

1. Do not discuss your divorce.

While some modern women will inquire about how your marriage ended, it really is too soon to divulge such personal information.

Wait until you two have been on a few dates and you’re investigating exclusivity and a relationship together before doing so.

“To speak negatively of another

woman is off-putting to your date.”

2. Do not discuss your children.

Of course it is fine to mention them in a general way: “I just sent my youngest off to college in September. Now I really think I’m ready to date again.”

However, avoid discussing them and your custody with them with a woman on a first date.

Save those discussions for the woman you want a relationship with.

3. Do not diss your ex-wife.

Sure, you’re no longer married to her for good reason. However, to speak negatively of another woman at the very first meeting is off-putting to your lady date.

She might get the wrong impression that you carry a grudge or hostility toward women.

What topics do you avoid on a baby boomer first date? Leave your comments below!

Photo source: seniorreport.com.

I don’t know how to say this online, but I found out around 2001 I had hepatitis C. The biopsy showed it to be a one on a one to four scale. I never drink and don’t need medication for it.

I haven’t had sex in decades, so I’m guessing I may have gotten it as a teen who, very briefly, tried some drugs by injection. I would like to enjoy sex in this life.

How do I bring this up online?

-William (New York)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear William,

I’m so sorry to hear you are suffering physically, but I’m more concerned you have suffered so much emotionally.

Like so many people living with health issues, you can and do deserve a healthy sex life. And it will come when you can let go of your shame and trust someone enough to share this with them.

Your biggest attribute is you have been so cautious and, I assume, are concerned about infecting someone else.

But your question, “How do I bring this up online?” also indicates you still want a degree of separation, a computer between you and the person you are attracted to, as a safety measure.

I suggest you do not bring this up online. This is personal information that should be shared only with a trusted loved one.

And that’s your mission: To get close enough to someone you can trust with the vulnerable parts of yourself.

That means developing a non-sexual intimacy. In this age of fast sex, there are still plenty of people out there who will be relieved to practice slow love with you.

Become friends first. Learn how judgmental someone is. Learn how compassionate someone is. Then you’ll know if it is safe to disclose.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.