The study was performed by Carsten Grimm, with the University of Canterbury in New Zealand, who utilized what he referred to as “experience sampling” to derive a clear picture of what activities had the greatest positive and negative impact on people’s lives.

Grimm used text messaging at random intervals throughout the day to contact the study’s participants, asking them what they had done that day and how those activities made them feel.

According to Grimm, this form of sampling was highly effective, with a 97 percent response rate to his texts, producing what he referred to as “a really rich sample of everyday life to look at.”

“Sex, by contrast, appears to

meet all happiness needs.”

After accumulating his data, Grimm divided the results into three broad categories related to happiness — pleasure (sensory enjoyment), engagement (total absorption) and meaning (being part of something bigger).

Grimm found sex took the lead when it came to happiness-producing activities, taking the top spot in all three of these categories.

Other activities ranked high in more than one category of happiness, but sex was the only activity ranking high in all three.

For example, people found drinking and partying to be pleasurable but not particularly meaningful, while on the flip side, people found studying meaningful but not a lot of fun.

Sex, by contrast, appears to meet all happiness needs, making it a key factor in what Grimm referred to as “the full life.”

Source: the University of Canterbury in New Zealand.

And according to us, the following are the top lesbian/gay bars in “The River City.”

1. The Metro Entertainment Complex.

Metro’s website says it is the largest gay and lesbian venue in the state of Florida and features a total of seven uniquely themed clubs under one roof, including The Dance Bar, The Game Room, The Rainbow Room, Club Shadow, The Boiler Room, Club Sappho’s Lounge and The Tiki Bar.

Located in the historic Riverside area of Jacksonville, Metro features an array of performers, such as Kyky Roxx (aka Little Spoon), Aiden Payne, Phoenix DeLa Cruize, Latonga Manchez and Syndel.

The club is open seven days a week – from 2 p.m. until 2 a.m. – and offers events like Friday Movie Night, Lesbos Gone Wild, standup comedy shows and drag queen performances.

2. The New 616.

Located at 616 Park Street in downtown Jacksonville, The New 616 has all the amenities – outdoor seating, billiards, DJs, karaoke, music videos and a jukebox to name a few. It’s also a well-known spot for events like cabaret night, service industry night and cabaret drag shows, and if you’re planning a late-night after-party, The New 616 offers package beer and liquor to go.

On Yelp.com, Michael E. reviewed the nightclub, saying, “Your bartenders take care of me. Your Maker’s Mark does wonderful things to me as I traipse from seat to seat, inside and out. You have this terrific ability to bring friends I haven’t seen in forever plus two days and me together.”

3. AJ’s Bar and Grill.

Established in 1998 by owners Annie and Janie, AJ’s Bar and Grill began primarily as a nightclub, venue and meeting place for many in the Jacksonville gay and lesbian community. Located on Atlantic Boulevard, AJ’s offers events like live bands, wine tastings, banquets, darts and bowling tournaments, karaoke and a DJ dance party every Friday night.

It’s also a restaurant featuring Americana cuisine – nachos, burgers and deli sandwiches. Urbanspoon.com reviewer Christopher said, “AJ’s Bar & Grill. The operative word here is bar. AJ’s is a bar and bar food is what you’ll get. Burgers, wings, mozzarella sticks, all of your typical choices. If I’m in the neighborhood and looking for a beer and a bite, I would certainly consider going back.”

While Jacksonville, Fla., isn’t one of the top gay travel destinations in the world, it’s no secret that “The Bold New City Of The South” is a great place to enjoy a drink and get your groove on at The Metro, The New 616, AJ’s Bar and Grill or one of the other dozens of gay and lesbian-friendly watering holes.

Ladies, you’re already stressed about what to wear and what to say so don’t feel intimidated by what to order!

While every woman who has ordered a salad instead of the steak she craved can stand to relax and enjoy herself a bit more, avoiding the following foods is a good way to sidestep some of the potential pitfalls first date dinners throw your way.

1. Spaghetti, noodles or “splatter” foods.

We all love a good bowl of pasta, but many pasta dishes incorporating spaghetti, linguini, angel hair or any other type of noodle tend to splatter their sauce everywhere as you eat them.

Do you really want to spend your whole date focusing intensely on getting noodles into your mouth without spraying their sauce around? Do you really want to have to wipe your mouth, chin and cheeks after every bite just to stay presentable?

2. Beans, lentils and all other legumes.

Do I really need to explain this one? Some people digest legumes like black beans or chickpeas better than others, but most people experience some level of gas when they down these treats.

Gas will not only keep you on the defensive for the rest of the date lest you (God forbid) pass some wind, it will also make you feel bloated and unattractive. So save that appetizing bowl of rice and beans for your second date.

“If you plan on simply

pecking on croutons, forget it.”

3. Excessively hot curries and chili.

Your first date is not the right time to show off your ability to handle the spiciest foods the world’s cuisines have to offer. Like with legumes, everyone’s tolerance for spicy foods is different, but it’s better to play it safe than to order a dish with 10 chili peppers printed next to it on the menu and spend the rest of your date blowing your nose while huffing and puffing with a blotchy, red face, looking like you just wrapped up your first half marathon.

4. Dishes with alcohol in them.

Hey, there’s nothing wrong with having a glass or two of wine with your meal. In fact, most first dates don’t start to loosen up and get interesting until a little alcohol starts flowing. That being said, nothing kills a first date faster than a drink, drank, drunk mishap. Know your tolerance and ease off once you feel a buzz.

The problem with foods containing alcohol is simple — you don’t know how much alcohol is in them, so you can’t monitor your consumption and control your sobriety with any certainty.

5. Salad!

Women were traditionally told to only order a salad whenever they went out on a date because it sends the “right” message to their man. Even if this tactic once worked, it’s now been driven to obsolescence by too many women opting for the Caesar when they really want the steak, with every man in existence now well aware of this strategy.

If you truly love salads and want to order one, then go for it. But if you plan on simply pecking on croutons for the sake of some misguided and outdated notion of gender dynamics, forget it and follow the above rules to find something appropriate that you actually want to eat!

There are virtually hundreds to thousands of restaurant choices in any given town or city. Guys, when planning a first date, take heed some of our advice on how to pick a great place to eat.

1. Eventful.

If you’re especially nervous about a first date, choose a restaurant where the food isn’t the only focal point.

It could be kitschy like Dave & Buster’s where you can both have a beer and play arcade games before sitting down to eat. Or it could be more upscale like a Japanese hibachi grill where vegetables, fried rice, seafood and steak is cooked right in front of you.

If you’re running out of things to talk about, you can always focus on the chef’s culinary skills and cheesy one-liners.

2. Unique.

It doesn’t matter if your favorite chain restaurant is offering two-for-one house wine. Choose an eatery with a unique flair.

It can be a farm-to-table experience where the menu changes based on what local foods are in season or a seven-course food and wine pairing at a historic bed and breakfast.

Either way, give the restaurant of choice some thought before settling on everyday, standard grub.

3. Uninhibited.

Tear down the walls of your traditional cafe or bistro and order takeout for a beach or park picnic. Order ahead and make sure the food will travel well to your destination.

Any lady would be impressed by the thoughtfulness of choosing the great outdoors as a first date setting. Just don’t forget a blanket, bug spray, wine and bottle opener, water and salt and pepper. A rose and bud vase wouldn’t hurt either.

When you’re choosing a first date eatery, stay away from boring, old chain restaurants offering happy hour drink specials and free appetizers with your choice of fajita.

Instead, give some thought to a unique, uninhibited and eventful dining experience.

Good questions, all. There are few things that can settle your first date jitters like a nice glass of wine or other “social lubricant.” But there is also very little that can undermine a budding relationship like a sloppy drunk.

Let’s look at some guidelines for acceptable drinking behavior on a first date.

Don’t start without her.

Sure, you’re a little nervous and you want to be relaxed and charming when you meet for your date. However, a little nervous tension can be a great thing to work through with your date.

Never show up for a date with a shot or two of “courage” already under your belt. She will know and it is hard to think of a scenario in which this could work out well for you.

So, you’re a little uptight and paralyzed by her beauty. She’s got a tummy full of butterflies too, you know. Ask if she would like to order a glass of wine or a drink. If she’s not in the mood, ask her if it’s OK if you get a small glass of wine. Let her know you just want to calm your nerves a bit.

But a word of warning: Don’t order a double shot of tequila with a beer back. She will see red flags waving and might instantly change her opinion of you. Wine, or maybe a small scotch on the rocks, are the classy and safe ways to go.

“Alcohol can be a great tool for

relaxation when used in moderation.”

Sip…two’s enough.

If you are both having an alcoholic beverage, always keep an eye on her drink so you don’t double her pace, especially if you are both having beer. You are used to drinking with the guys. The first one goes down in just a few minutes, and then you have another.

Not this time. Women have common sense about drinking and don’t attack a drink the way a starving dog attacks a bowl of kibble.

Take smaller sips and don’t get too far ahead of her. You do not want to reorder before she’s ready if at all possible. She can’t judge you poorly if she’s drinking at the same rate. And you also want to make a couple of drinks last through a nice long conversation.

If you’re dining, order water when the food comes. If an hour passes since your two pre-meal drinks, one more for dessert might be OK. Although, it might impress her if you don’t have another so you can drive safely.

One more thing — you’ll be watching her beverage to set your pace anyway, so make sure you notice if she seems to be stuck with a nearly-full drink in front of her for a long while. She may be having a hard time with the taste, especially if it’s beer.

So tell her, “How about I take that beer off your hands or send it back with the waiter and get you a strawberry daiquiri?” It’s what Prince Charming would do.

Drinking and romance.

Before you go out for your date, set yourself some limits and guidelines. If this is a girl you want to impress and see again, then those limits should include: No more than two or three drinks during a five-hour date, no more than one drink more than her (if she’s not drinking, you only get one), and no sex on the first date.

Too harsh? Maybe not. Maybe you can handle more than three drinks with the guys, but can she handle more than that? Do you want to out-drink her by several drinks so she can tell you are noticeably drunker than she is? Do you want her to think you are trying to get her drunk so she will lose her inhibitions?

Let me answer for you: No, no, and hell no.

Alcohol can be a great tool for relaxation when used in moderation. But in excess, it can unleash the untamed beast in both of you before your relationship is ready to survive such behavior.

When drinking allows either of you to go beyond her boundaries of trust and intimacy that have thus far been earned, it can only work against you.

The idea on a first date is not to take all you can get. The idea is to impress your lady with your maturity, good sense, gentlemanly behavior and patience.

Let her be the one to go home with thoughts of how she can please you a little more next time — and with no morning headache to dampen her emotions.

Conventional wisdom tells us that a movie does not give a couple the opportunity to relate to and talk to each other because they are paying attention to the movie. Of course, a nice dinner before or spending an hour or two together afterwards can take care of that problem — plus it can give a new couple something to talk about.

But a movie does not advance the bonding process of a relationship. It is best to plan most dates around the interests and activities of one or both of the parties involved. Seeing her favorite Monét exhibit at the art museum or taking her to meet your friends for a beer and a ballgame will get you more involved in each other’s lives, which is really the cement that binds two people together.

A movie you both want to see can make for a great date, but maybe start out by cooking dinner for her at your place instead of going to a restaurant. Just be sure to do some things that will allow you to become a real part of each other’s real life, too.

What’s your tolerance?

Depending on your tolerance, which can vary greatly from woman to woman, I believe between one and three drinks is acceptable on a first date. If you rarely drink or you’re just super petite, go with one drink and sip at it on a full stomach. If you’re a beer pong champion who weighs 200 pounds, then I guess a few lagers with your prime rib won’t do much harm. If you’re a moderate social drinker, have a glass of wine and feel it out if you should opt for number two.

He wants to order more drinks.

So say you’ve hit your drinking quota and said super hunk wants to continue with an after-dinner date at a pool hall or bowling alley? Don’t wuss out and go home. Just keep in mind that you don’t have to be doing Irish car bombs to stay in the conversation. Alcohol impairs our judgment — that’s why it’s best to make a pre-date alcohol rule with yourself and try your best to stick to it. Maybe even have a friend scheduled to call you with a “You don’t want to be that girl” pep talk.

The moral of the story.

Nobody likes a sloppy, slushy drunk girl on a first date. Falling down and having your dress fly over your head is pretty unattractive, even if said super hunk is really pushing the kamikaze shots or lemon drops. But don’t be so freaked out that you become a prude. Find a happy medium that works for you and your alcohol consumption comfort level, and do your best to stick to it. Slainte!

And because food is really an excuse to sit down with someone and get to know them better, there are do’s and don’ts when it comes to ordering. I’ve compiled a list of the three best and worst foods to order on a first date.

The worst.

1. The onion genus.

Garlic, shallot, leek and chive are a few of the foods grouped in the onion genus. And while we all know how delicious it is to cook with any of these pungent vegetables, stay clear of dishes heavy-handed in them, especially if you’re interested in a goodnight kiss.

2. The fried Fisherman’s Platter with a side of fries and extra tartar sauce.

By ordering a meal with about 10,000 calories in it, you’re basically telling your date your health is not important to you. If you’re really into fried shrimp, order a side salad rather than fries and dip the crustaceans in cocktail sauce instead.

3. Lobster

Yes, obviously a fresh Maine lobster is like the yummiest thing you could possibly order at a restaurant, but stay clear of the cockroach of the sea for a first date. Even with a classy, plastic bib, lobster is messy and will leave you smelling like fish for the rest of the evening.

The best.

1. Tapas.

Unless your date has cold sores all over her lips, sharing a feast of tapas is a great way to break the ice and get to know someone. You’ll also see how picky or open-minded your date is. Try a cheese plate, ceviche, an olive assortment, beef or chicken skewers, potato omelet, mussels and calamari.

2. Farm to table.

These days, a lot of restaurants are buying their produce, dairy and meat directly from local farmers. Try taking your date to a farm-to-table eatery. Chances are she’ll be impressed. Not only is the food amazingly food and creative, you’re supporting your local community.

3. Home-cooked tacos.

Make margaritas and sauté fresh Mahi Mahi for a taco dinner feast. Spread out the toppings — lettuce, tomato, shredded cheese, sour cream, fresh avocado — but remember to leave out the beans and onions for this round.

Before you start enjoying the relationship comfort zone, it’s a good idea to be conscious of what foods to order and what not to order on a first date.

Pick a recipe with few ingredients.

Start browsing for recipes weeks before you plan on cooking this special meal. Whether it’s online or in a cookbook, find a recipe you are comfortable with that has few ingredients. Most websites rank their recipes based on difficulty, so pick one that is labeled easy. The fewer ingredients you have, the less work you have to do and the easier it will be to multitask. You don’t have to make everything from scratch, so choose a recipe that uses fresh and store-bought ingredients.

Try making pizza at home with prepared dough and sauce and fresh produce like mushrooms, peppers or spinach. A classic roast chicken with baked potatoes is always an impressive fake-out. Serve any of these with a simple salad of mixed greens and lemon vinaigrette. An easy dessert could be vanilla ice cream topped with fresh berries macerated in an almond liqueur. Make sure to get your favorite bottle of wine and you’ve got yourself a great meal.

Be prepared.

Once you decide on a mouthwatering recipe, make sure you have all the kitchen tools you need to make it. If the recipe calls for a nonstick pan, check your cabinets to see if you have one, or buy a new pan at the store before you start cooking. Read through the entire recipe once, and then look up any cooking terms you are unfamiliar with. If you don’t know what sauté means, then it’s time to start doing some basic research. Being prepared will put your mind at ease and prevent you from scrambling around the kitchen and making the work more complicated than it should be.

Practice.

Of course, “practice makes perfect” is a worn-out saying, but it’s absolutely necessary for cooking. Don’t try cooking the meal for the first time in front of your date. It will only make you more nervous if something goes wrong. Make it before your date night, and follow the recipe exactly the first time. This will give you experience with reading recipes, following instructions and maneuvering your way around the kitchen. Take your time and don’t panic if it doesn’t come out right the first couple of times. After you practice the recipe on your roommate or sister, the motions will become second nature, and you will be able to put your own spin on the dish if you want.

Cooking doesn’t have to be just for Suzy Homemakers anymore. Use these tips so the next time your man comes over, the two of you can make some magic in the kitchen.

For most dinners and drinks out, they’ve decided to go Dutch. But my friend knows her boyfriend is spending money he doesn’t have, and she doesn’t know what to do about it. She grew up in a hardworking, Southern family, and he comes from a family with money. The difference is while he’s been starting up his welding business, she went and got a master’s degree to work in the corporate world.

I told her nobody should go into credit card debt because of dating or dinners out. I told her to sit down and have a real heart-to-heart with her boyfriend about the issue. I told her to remind him she comes from a humble, hardworking, generous family, and lowering his stress level about going out is more important to her than money.

It’s 2012 and I believe we are way past the point of the man paying for everything. Sure, there is still male-female income disparity in the United States, but that doesn’t mean women are handicap and unable to support themselves. Gone are the days of growing up, getting married and letting a husband take care of his wife. Today, who pays the bill should be based on practicality and a realistic outlook.

Remember these five important deciding factors:

1. On a first date, the person who did the asking should pay.
2. On a second date, both parties should attempt to pay. If an agreement isn’t reached, then the duo should go Dutch.
3. Restaurant bills should continue to be paid Dutch-style until the couple is comfortable enough to discuss finances. Then the partner who makes a significantly higher wage should offer more often.
4. If both partners make relatively similar wages, they should take turns paying.
5. Pay no attention to numbers one through four if the dinner or date is for a birthday, special holiday or potential engagement.

Of course, your situation may differ from my friend’s, but you get the gist. Going Dutch or not going Dutch is not a black and white decision. It’s no longer assumed the man foots the bill. If you’re far enough along into a relationship you feel comfortable starting a conversation about finances, then come up with a system that works for you — with or without the wooden shoes.