For the study, Russell Clayton, of the University of Missouri, Alexander Nagurney, an instructor at the University of Hawaii at Hilo and Jessica R. Smith, a doctoral student at St. Mary’s University in San Antonio, surveyed Facebook users aged 18 to 82 about their use on the social media site and its impact on romantic relationships.

The goal was to find out which type of conflicts arose over Facebook, how often and how they were resolved.

What they discovered was high usage of Facebook is a significant predictor of conflict, as well as negative outcomes including infidelity, separation or divorce.

“High usage of Facebook is a significant

predictor of negative outcomes like infidelity.”

“Previous research has shown that the more a person in a romantic relationship uses Facebook, the more likely they are to monitor their partner’s Facebook activity more stringently, which can lead to feelings of jealousy,” Clayton said.

The study shows the results were particularly apparent among new couples.

“This suggests that Facebook may be a threat to relationships that are not fully matured,” he said.

Jealously was found to a recurring issue of conflict reportedly among all users, but especially participants who are heavy users.

“Facebook-induced jealousy may lead to arguments concerning past partners,” Clayton said. “Also, our study found that excessive Facebook users are more likely to connect or reconnect with other Facebook users, including previous partners.”

Source: Phys.org. Photo source: techgig.com.

Conducted by Umea University social geographer Erika Sandow, the findings show long-distance commuters have a 40 percent higher risk of separation compared with typical commuters.

Sandow also identified the first few years of a long commute as being the most challenging for a relationship.

The research was compiled using survey data collected from 60,000 married or cohabiting Swedish adults. Sandow wanted to compare longer travel distances against the impact made to their relationships and lifespans.

“Long-distance commuters have a 40

percent higher risk of separation.”

“Long-distance commuting” in the study was defined as more than a 30-mile journey one way.

The risk to a relationship was found to be greatest in the first five years of a new commute. Beyond that period, the study found partners no longer had a greater chance of separating compared with non-commuters.

“Even though expanding job market regions are good for growth, there are social costs tied to long travel times that should be factored into the debate about broader regions,” Sandow said.

Source: Umea University. Photo source: businessweek.com.

New research finds people unhappy in their relationship tend to ruminate on that unhappiness during arguments with their partner. Happier couples often have more coordinated thoughts related to the conflict at hand.

According to a study published online in the National Communication Association’s journal, Communication Monographs, the findings “raise questions about widely accepted differences between women’s and men’s cognitions.”

Participating were 71 young heterosexual couples who were unmarried but had been together an average of three years.

Couples were separated into different rooms but remained connected through a chat program. The partners were overseen by a researcher, but they could only communicate with their partner by typing.

“Unhappy partners were more likely to repeat

their unhappiness or change the subject.”

Participants were asked to verbalize their thought process to the researcher during the 10-minute chats with their partner, which was recorded. The topic was pre-selected from a questionnaire filled out by each partner.

Researchers found unhappy partners were more likely to repeat their unhappiness, avoid the topic or attempt to change the subject. Couples more satisfied in their relationship were more likely to remain on topic.

The study also found a person’s thoughts during an argument both reflect and shape how they feel about the relationship. It can likewise affect the happiness of the other partner, according to study author Anita Vangelisti, a communications professor at the University of Texas at Austin.

“We don’t have data on what happens when partners change their thoughts, but our findings certainly do suggest that thinking about how angry and frustrated you are – or thinking about how much power is being wielded during a conflict – is not beneficial,” she said.

Vangelisti said a participant’s thought process may differ in a chat setting versus standard face-to-face meetings and cites the lack of facial expressions or tone of voice applied in the responses.

Source: Communication Monographs. Photo source: sheknows.com.

A new study conducted by researchers at the University of Arizona and the University of Puget Sound found mixed-weight couples experienced more conflict than couples where both partners were about the same weight.

Researchers looked at 43 heterosexual couples and examined the levels of conflict each couple experienced.

“Mixed-weight couples were more likely

to experience anger and resentment.”

Mixed-weight (where one partner is a healthy weight and the other is overweight) couples were more likely to experience anger and resentment than same-weight couples, and these conflicts intensified when both partners ate with each other.

However, researchers determined couples had less conflict when the overweight person felt their partner was supportive of their exercise and dieting efforts.

“That is significant because even though they are at risk for more conflict, there are communication mechanisms that can reduce this,” said Tricia Burke, the study’s lead author.

Source: Sagepub.com. Photo source: smosh.com.

I am a young 69-year-old who two years ago ended a 46-year marriage. Ten months ago, I started a relationship with a 74-year-old man. When he feels any slight indication I may be upset about something he says or does, he bolts and gets a little nasty. He writes notes that we need to apart but he still would like to see me once in a while or maybe we could be friends.

Is it a bad sign?

-Judith (Florida)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Judith,

Bad sign? This is a neon sign that reads, “I’m too insecure to have a healthy relationship!”

As you know, having lived through a 46-year relationship, having good conflict resolution skills is crucial to love. And to be really close and intimate, we have to be able to tolerate that our partner can see the flaws in us.

I suspect he can’t tolerate seeing his own flaws and when he fears you might see them first, he deals with it through abandonment and then defensive anger.

I’m not sure this guy can give the care you need at this juncture of your life. He may abandon you at a critical moment of need because you said the wrong thing.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

The sting makes hair rise on your back and you come out swinging in defensive quips.

Before you know it, you are in a full-on relationship war. Old conflicts are being dug up and the war of words drags on.

There’s this folklore that to have a healthy relationship, you have to promise to never go to sleep in the middle of a conflict.

The thinking is probably related to the idea that going to bed can be interpreted as stonewalling or abandonment.

Also, couples might like to imagine a fight that comes to a complete resolution might reward them with good “make-up sex,” or at least a good night’s sleep.

The truth is this:

Fights happen. In fact, fights most often happen when we are tired or drunk and the hour is late.

To force ourselves to stay awake and argue when our highest self isn’t present might only make matters worse.

You may say things you regret or you may overreact to something you might shrug off in the bright dawn.

When it’s OK to go to bed mad:

1. If either partner is too tired.

2. If either partner is under the influence of alcohol or other drugs.

3. If either partner is under stress or duress related to something else (i.e. a work crisis or the health crisis of a loved one).

Instead of pointless, lengthy arguments, make an standing relationship rule to throw in the towel on late night rants. But promise to revisit the topic in the light of day and after a good night’s rest.

Trust me, with a little shut eye, your brain will be in full gear and your ability to compromise will be in good shape.

Remember the best way to fight is to remind yourself how much you love the other person while you are arguing.

Have you ever gone to bed mad?

Photo source: bp.blogspot.com.

The study, which came out of Sam Houston State University, questioned 300 women in serious relationships (currently or recently) about whether or not they had experienced domestic violence over the previous two years.

Sixty-seven percent of respondents reported some form of physical or mental abuse by their partner within that time period.

“Sixty-seven percent of respondents reported

physical or mental abuse by their partner.”

The study found more than 60 percent of women in heterosexual working couples reported victimization, while only 30 percent of women reported victimization in cases when only the male partner was employed.

Other factors contributed to the likelihood of domestic violence (including general distress in the relationship), but no factor impacted the likelihood of victimization as highly as being part of a working couple.

Cortney A. Franklin and Tasha A. Menaker, co-authors of the study, believe their results demonstrate how males feel threatened when their female partners work, stating their study lends “support to the idea that female employment may challenge male authority and power in a relationship.”

Source: ItemOnline.com. Photo source: ourrelationship.com.

My girlfriend and I have been together for two years. It was great at first. She cooked, she was there all the time, and she showed affection. Then we had a son, who is now five months old.

We have been growing apart and stopped having sex. I do a lot for her and my son, but she is now giving me attitude all the time. She said I bother her but wants to be with me. I love her and want to be a happy family.

What do I do?

-Mike (Massachusetts)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Mike:

It’s fascinating that parenthood and marriage have become two separate things. It is like the middle class is beginning to resemble the lower class that way.

But here you are playing house with someone who you haven’t made a commitment to stick it out with – through richer or poorer or through sickness and health.

And you’re worried about your sex life??? Having a baby is one of the biggest stressors for even the most solid of marriages, and I can’t imagine how difficult it must be on a relationship with such low definition.

My suggestion would be to think of your child first. That little guy needs both of you to have a healthy chance in life. Find a family therapist to help you with your relationship problems and make a commitment to the family you have created.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Penn State researcher Benjamin Hickerson constructed a survey he handed out to 175 individuals waiting in line at midnight to purchase the new Call of Duty: Black Ops game.

The survey asked questions about the individual’s social life and the role video games have in both their private and social life.

Hickerson received 166 surveys back, finding the average participant played video games for 20.5 hours a week and spent more than $200 a year on their hobby.

While Hickerson received surveys from a few participants who spent more than 100 hours a week playing video games, he ultimately found there was no direct correlation between the amount of time and money an individual invests in playing video games and the strength of their relationships.

Hickerson found some participants fit the stereotype of playing video games in an antisocial manner, but many others used video games as a way to connect with people and maintain relationships.

Source: eurekalert.org. Photo source: tokiillab.com

The study looked at 6,126 adults suffering from fibromyalgia, a chronic illness where individuals regularly, and randomly, experience pain and extreme tenderness throughout their entire body.

Participants were asked to discuss the impact their illness had on their relationships, with an emphasis on their romantic relationships.

“More than half of the survey’s respondents stated

their relationships suffered mild to moderate damage.”

While relationships with “children and close friends” were also “negatively impacted for a substantial minority of participants,” far more admitted their fibromyalgia contributed to significant problems with their romantic partnerships.

More than half of the survey’s respondents stated their relationships either suffered mild-to-moderate damage or ended in a breakup due to their illness. Half of respondents also stated they currently felt dissatisfied within their relationship due, at least partially, to symptoms of their illness.

Most of these relationship-threatening symptoms related to fibromyalgia commonly cause mood disturbances in addition to advanced levels of physical pain and discomfort.

While fibromyalgia has long been linked to “impairments in activities of daily living and work,” this was one of the first studies to look at the impact of the chronic illness on romantic relationships.

Source: NCBI.com. Photo source: thirdage.com