When you’re getting out of the house more, then it is easy to increase the number of people you meet this week. And some of them may be a mature single like you!

Where are some creative places for mature midlife singles to meet a potential life mate?

1. Farmers markets.

All the new, fresh spring fruits and vegetables emerge at the local farmers market.

Another fun attribute of shopping at the local farmers market is people at the booths are already used to casually conversing with the farmers working the table.

When there is already a conversation going, it is very easy to pose an additional question and comfortably introduce yourself into their exchange.

“This is one of the times that chatting about

your grandchildren can work in your favor.”

2. Springtime plant and garden shows.

Whether you are full bore into your retirement or are merely a weekend gardener while still pursuing your employment career, everyone who plants a bulb, a plant or flower enjoys attending the local town’s plant and garden shows.

Check the schedule to see if there are any lectures or interactive workshops which will get you socially engaged with your fellow senior singles.

If you meet anyone you enjoy conversing with, just invite them to continue the conversation at the show’s concession stand over a cup of coffee. What could be more natural than that?

3. Little league games.

This is one of the times that chatting happily and engagingly about your game-playing grandchildren from the get go can actually work in your favor rather than be a topic to avoid like on a more typical first date.

Everyone in the bleachers is shouting and cheering on their team and amiably interacting with the other people in the stands.

Bring a bag of home-popped popcorn to share with those around you or a batch of cookies for easy ways to break the ice.

Try saying something like, “Would you care for some popcorn? I made too much for just me. Aren’t the kids cute running after the ball like that?”

Which tip can you see yourself pursuing in order to meet more people?

Photo source: visualphotos.com.

On March 20th, along with the arrival of the spring equinox, several singles I’ve been working with in my Online Dating BootCamp changed their relationship status to “In a Relationship” and retired their online dating profiles since the first day of spring.

What’s their secret in just one week? Preparation and careful planning for the change of seasons, because there’s no better place to look than on your existing online dating site.

Each couple I worked with took the steps to create a personality that would shine along with a fresh start.

Get a digital facelift.

Singles already online need a digital facelift of their profiles at least once every season.

Just like you change your wardrobe and rearrange the clothes in your closet to wear lighter and brighter clothing for the new season, your dating profile should reflect a brighter and refreshed version of you.

To do this, I recommend the following:

1. Take new photos. 

Wear outfits with pinks, reds and colors that will pop. Ditch the little black dress, as it’s too common and will get lost on the computer screen.

You don’t have to go to an expensive photographer, but grab some of your friends and a digital camera and start shooting away.

Take 100 photos in five different outfits. Let your friends help you select the best five.

2. Change your screen name.

Drop the winter blues and find a catchy screen name for your new profile.

Love art? Terrific. Use the name “ArtLover” and possibly your first name or the state you reside in, such as “ArtLoverJill” or “ArtLoverNY.”

Ski season over? Change your headline from “Loves to Ski” to another activity, such as “Looking for hiking partner.”

“All singles looking for love online could use a 

digital facelift to attract their dream date.”

3. List upcoming events.

Your dating profile doesn’t have to be stagnant like a magazine ad. Make it more active like your Facebook profile.

If you’ve snagged great concert tickets and are looking for a date, say so in your profile.

Who knows? Your dream date might just share the same passion for music you do.

4. Head over to Facebook.

Online dating has really become social dating. Make sure your Facebook page lists your status as “Single.”

You can do this in your “About” section. Let the world know you’re ready to start dating.

See an old friend? Strike up a private chat on Facebook.

Looking for someone to go to the latest museum exhibit? Post it on your page.

Who knows? A secret admirer might just “like” that page and suggest going together.

5. Cast a wider net.

Don’t limit your search to 10 miles within your hometown, unless you have your heart set on being with the boy next door.

If you’d be willing to drive an hour to see a date, then change your range to 60 miles from where you live.

Expand your age range to a few years older and a few years younger to be open to the possibilities.

Going on a business trip or vacation? Write to someone in the city you’ll be visiting. When they hear you’ll be in town for a limited time, they won’t want to miss out on the opportunity to meet you.

At the end of the day, all singles looking for love online could use a little digital facelift to attract their dream date.

How often do you change your online dating profile?

Photo source: aericon.com.

Why is this so? Isn’t it just as common to snuggle and fall in love beside a warm fire on a cold night?

Yes, it is, but the search for that cherished mate begins months before.

Science tells us why.

The Earth’s biological cycles can affect our physiology and our behavior. Seasonal change can be linked to hormonal fluctuations, our blood pressure and even our immune system function.

For instance, people tend to put on weight in the winter and they sleep longer. We suffer more anxiety in fall.

In spring, we have the most health problems and depression (even suicides.) There’s no better remedy for a down mood than love.

“It all begins in the spring. Clothes become

more revealing. Our bodies get active.”

Humans are connected to seasonal changes.

Like all animals, humans are very connected to nature and seasonal change.

In our anthropological past, humans who survived the long, dark, cold winter were depleted and anxious before they gained renewed optimism by the longer days.

The onset of spring signals new growth, a fresh harvest and long days to be active. There is nothing more live affirming than love.

Communicating with another, exchanging affection and the dopamine rush of sex helps us overcome the frightening feelings that can come with changes in climate.

Remember, in our ancient history, people didn’t know if the sun (and food) was ever coming back. But love makes us feel hopeful.

By the time the autumn arrives, those who find a mate hunker down for the winter. Not surprisingly, the most common birthday month for human beings is August.

That means in the darkest days of winter, when our ancient people huddled together around fires and awaited the spring, there was some great sex happening.

And there still is.

Men’s testosterone levels rise by the end of the summer and peak in the fall.

And if the holidays are not filled with exciting sex and cozy bonding, that’s the time of the year most people go online to find mate.

Online dating sites report their biggest surge in users is between Christmas and New Year’s, when single people take stock of their situation and make resolutions to find love.

But it all begins in the spring. Clothes become more revealing. Our bodies get active.

The evenings become longer and warmer, and that sets us up to search for a summer lover for next winter’s nest.

Photo source: cloudfront.net.

In the days leading up to St. Patrick’s Day, it’s time for you to ramp up your online dating flirting techniques.

St. Patrick’s Day is on a Sunday this year, so you’ll have the whole weekend to celebrate with your new online crush if you play your digital cards right.

Here are five tips to help you get noticed while looking for love online.

1. Change your profile photo.

Grab your favorite green sweater or dress, take a few photos and change your primary online dating photo to you wearing something bright green and fun.

Jump over to Facebook and change your profile photo there as well.

2. Change your status.

Change your headline to catch his or her eye to show you’d like to celebrate the holiday. Taglines such as “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” or “Hope to Get Lucky on St. Patrick’s Day” will help you get noticed.

Chances are your inbox will start to fill up and you’ll receive an abundance of winks and flirts.

“It’s OK to be bold. It’s

St. Patrick’s Day.”

3. Let dates know you’re ready to celebrate.

Post a four-leaf clover on Facebook, Instagram, Twitter or Pinterest letting people know you’re gearing up for St. Patrick’s Day.

4. Virtual gifts.

Send a green carnation as a virtual gift to someone whose profile piques your interest, and wish him or her an early “Happy St. Patrick’s Day.”

You’re more likely to receive a thank you email to get the conversation started.

5. Events.

Do a Google search for local events and St. Patrick’s Day parties in your area. Add that event to your profile bio and invite prospective dates to meet you there.

It’s OK to be bold. It’s St. Patrick’s Day.

Remember, you don’t need to be Irish to get into the spirit.

Practice these five tips diligently in the next few days, check to see who’s viewed your profile, respond to emails promptly and you’re likely have a date on your calendar in time for the weekend.

How will you be celebrating this St. Patrick’s weekend?

Photo source: zcache.com.

Online dating has morphed into social dating, where singles are also connecting and reconnecting on Facebook and flirting on Twitter.

In the online dating world, your entire bucket needs to be full if you want to be successful with the process.

Sure it’s exhausting, but did you know many singles actually go out on a first date on Valentine’s Day?

Where have they met?

According to Match.com’s third annual “Singles in America” study, connecting online ranks #1 amongst the places where singles meet.

The Match.com study reports, “An unprecedented number of single Americans are now turning to the Internet to find love: Nearly one-third of singles (27.5 percent) reported they have dated someone whom they met online.”

In addition, the study shows 20 percent of singles met their most recent date online versus 7 percent who met at a bar.

“At the end of the digital day, many couples

connect on February 15th and beyond.”

How does this relate to dating on Valentine’s Day?

The Facebook data team reports more than 70 percent of those who have listed their relationship status on Facebook actually had their first date on Valentine’s Day.

This number may appear staggering, but Facebook adds Valentine’s Day is the highest day on average for people to add a new relationship status or become “Facebook Official.”

Since 40.5 percent of the status relationship changes moved to “Single” on Facebook in 2012, it’s likely someone will enjoy chatting with you on the world’s largest social network on Valentine’s Day, even if it’s a digital date from the convenience of your computer or mobile phone.

Is there too much pressure to find a date on Valentine’s Day?

Remember, Valentine’s Day is a Hallmark card and See’s Candy day.

It’s also the day women rank high on the totem pole.

Most guys don’t care about Valentine’s Day, but they know if they don’t ask someone out who they’ve been dating, they could end up in the digital doghouse.

At the end of the digital day, many couples connect on February 15th and beyond.

After all, spring fever is just around the corner.

Would you accept a first date on Valentines Day?

Your comments are welcome.

Photo source: tumblr.com.

Whether it’s another Friday night, a birthday, New Year’s Eve, whatever, as men we have a tendency to convince ourselves we have to go out if we want to attract women into our lives.

We have to go to the bar, we have to go to that party, we have to go meet women…

Too often, all that expectation we put on ourselves to meet someone special ends in disappointment.

Just think about the times you’ve gone out while single on New Year’s Eve, secretly hoping to make sparks fly with a stranger at midnight, only to later retreat home disappointed. And still single.

Valentine’s Day tends to have the opposite effect.

When we’re single on Valentine’s Day, we feel so much pressure to be coupled up or have a date that we intentionally don’t go out — even if we really want to.

Self-consciousness creeps into our minds:

• “What if they see me in line at the movie theater without a girlfriend?”
• “What will that cute hostess think if I go out for dinner and I don’t have a date with me?”

We’re so afraid of being judged by those around us, including any women we want to talk to:

• “They’ll think I can’t get a date.”
• “They’ll think there’s something wrong with me.”
• “Am I really that undesirable?”

Sound familiar? That’s your head talking. It’s not the truth.

“Instead of sitting at home trying to ignore the fact

you’re single, enjoy the freedom of being single.”

The truth is:

Being single on Valentine’s Day means you happen to be single on Valentine’s Day.

It means you’re one of several million other men who are also single today — some rich, some poor, some with six-pack abs, some with a gut, some ugly and some devastatingly handsome and charming.

Being single on Valentine’s Day has absolutely zero correlation with how desirable you are to women.

This is not some cheesy positive self-talk. It’s simply the truth.

Today I want you to embrace and be proud of where you’re at in your dating life, because being single on Valentine’s Day is actually an amazing opportunity for a single man to meet women while out celebrating the evening.

I’ve had more than one relationship that began on Valentine’s Day.

How does this happen?

It’s because I don’t think about what it “means” to be single on Valentine’s Day.

I think about the fact so many women who also don’t have a date on Valentine’s Day would love to meet a good guy.

Many of the waitresses working their shifts are single, most women reading alone in coffee shops are single, and the women out with their girlfriends enjoying restaurants and the nightlife on Valentine’s Day are almost always single.

Best of all, the reason these women are out on Valentine’s Day instead of at home watching a movie in their pajamas is the same reason I’m out on Valentine’s Day:

They have no desire to stay in and feel sorry for themselves. They want to go out and celebrate life, whether in a relationship or not.

On a normal night, a woman may be out with her girlfriends simply to catch up over a glass of wine and not be bothered by a random guy chatting her up.

Valentine’s Day is not one of those days.

A single woman who is out on Valentine’s Day wants to be talked to, she wants to have a good time, and she wants to meet a good guy.

And she’s waiting for YOU to show up and make it happen.

So here’s what I want you to do:

Instead of sitting at home trying to ignore the fact you’re single, go out and enjoy the freedom of being single.

Take a good friend who is also single with you and enjoy each other’s company.

Treat yourselves to some dinner, go somewhere for dessert, maybe go to a bar or catch some live music after.

Everywhere you go, chat up all the people who aren’t having a private romantic evening together.

You’ll come across many of them. And you’ll be amazed at how open, receptive and eager to make a connection people become on Valentine’s Day.

Are you single this Valentine’s Day?

Photo source: hubimg.com.

You tell yourself  it’s not a big deal and it’s just a normal day like any other, but a slight feeling of awkwardness starts to creep over you when people ask you how you are going to celebrate.

You might even feel a bit envious watching your coupled friends make plans to woo their special someone for the occasion.

Eventually it starts to eat away at you and you can’t help but to wonder: Why am I still single?

As a matchmaker, I have the pleasure of witnessing new gay couples form on a daily basis, so when I say YOU too can date and find a relationship that is perfect for you, I believe it with all of my heart.

If you are reading this, I can be 100 percent honest and say I can’t tell you why YOU are finding yourself single this Valentine’s Day without knowing your situation.

I can tell you that throughout my career, I have identified certain qualities or disciplines that usually separate the “happily single” versus the “desperately dating.”

Here are my top five.

1. It’s not really that important to you.

There is nothing wrong with being single. I hear guys complain about it, but they never really do anything to fix it.

This leads me to believe it’s not really a priority for them because if it was, they would be taking the necessary steps in order to get out and date.

It has been my experience singles who are serious and successful in dating tend to take advantage of all of their resources and really get out there and meet people, so if finding a relationship is really important to you, you should commit yourself to going on at least one date per week.

You won’t succeed unless you start taking action.

“Until you start taking chances on love,

your returns are going to be limited.”

2. You’re not relationship ready.

This one is a biggie for me.

If you are unhappy with your single gay life, a relationship is not going to fix it.

Too many times I meet gay guys who live their lives in utter chaos and expect to bring someone else into the mix thinking it will make things easier.

I’m sorry, but that hardly ever works out.

Focus your efforts on enhancing your quality of life. Take care of your business and start enjoying your singleness.

Your life doesn’t stop just because you are not in a relationship, so make sure you clean up your personal messes and live life to its fullest.

This will automatically open the doors to obtaining a fulfilling relationship with yourself and someone special.

3. Not meeting enough people.

Daters who successfully find themselves in relationships often maintain a presence in several different social circles.

Why? It increases their hunting ground.

If you hang out with the same crowd and do the same things over and over again, you will never meet new and interesting people.

Venture out and start creating new contacts. Invest in a hobby and start meeting new people who enjoy doing some of the things you enjoy doing.

There will never be a dull moment and your chances of meeting “Mr. Right” will automatically increase.

4. Too many deal-breakers.

Everyone has deal-breakers, but when your deal-breakers start to read like a shopping list, you may need to revisit the drawing board.

This is a form of self-sabotage.

You should only have three to five absolute deal-breakers. Anything more than that and you start to drastically decrease your opportunities to date quality men.

It’s OK to have standards and be picky with who you chose to invest your time in, but put yourself in check and make sure you are not being unrealistic.

5. You’re afraid to take a chance.

Fear is one of the most common things that keep single gay men single, but you have to realize that until you start taking chances on love, your returns are going to be limited.

Gay men who date with the purpose of finding a relationship tend to succeed because they go for it.

They accept the idea it may not work out for them in the long run, assume the risk and don’t let it stop them from putting themselves out there and giving it their all.

How are you breaking out of the single rut this Valentine’s Day?

Photo source: mirror.co.uk.

Nothing sounded less appealing than having to contort myself in a heated room while sweating profusely.

But then some guy invited my best friend to a Bikram class.This was my downfall.

My friend confirmed my worst suspicions. She said hot yoga was every bit as awful as we had imagined it would be, but she still kept going anyway.

I laughed behind her back. I laughed in front of her face. She laughed with me, but then she continued to go.

“I hate doing hot yoga,” she said, “but I like what it’s doing to my body.”

It took a few months, but I began to see what she meant.

All her life she’d struggled to lose the paunch around her belly and get her thighs toned. Slowly, I watched her develop this super hot, hot yoga body.

I couldn’t help but be reminded of how hot she was looking because she started running around in these really cute new Lululemon outfits.

You have no idea how this sucked.

Not for her, but for me. (Isn’t it great how I am able to make my friend’s success all about me? Am I a good friend, or what?)

Then one day my BFF announced she was a size 8. I groaned inwardly at hearing this.

If I wanted one of those bodies, I was going to have to get my big butt out of my office chair and into a hot yoga class or two.

I’ve been going almost a month now. It’s not as bad as I thought it would be.

It’s miserable, but doable. I found myself a buddy to go with me three times a week, which does help a lot.

“I am perfecting Eagle’s Pose to perform

for my husband in the nude.”

I asked my husband if he’s noticed any difference in me.

“You’re continuing to go,” he said, enthusiastically. That wasn’t exactly the answer I was looking for.

Even if I am not looking hot, I wanted him to tell I looked hotter.

In truth, I don’t know if I’ll ever have a hot yoga bod. Is this even possible if you start doing yoga at 50?

If I never get a cute yoga body, I can perfect these poses and do them in the nude for my husband. Now, that will be a real turn on.

I envy all those girls who started doing yoga in their 20s and 30s. They’re so lucky.

Growing up in the Midwest in the ‘70s, no one thought much about exercise or diet.

And speaking of diet — does my foray into hot yoga also mean I have to start eating at Cafe Gratitude and drinking Kombucha?

I don’t think I can do Cafe Gratitude, with the spiritually-themed menu and ridiculous table topics, and Kombucha? Really?

For those of you who don’t know, according to Wikipedia, “Kombucha is an effervescent fermentation of sweetened tea that is used as a functional food.” (Functional food?)

Whatever it is, it’s rancid. When people look at me and say, “I love Kombucha,” I know they just are just one step away from telling me unicorns and fairies are real.

Kombucha is a taste I will only acquire in another lifetime. Hey, a girl’s gotta draw her lines somewhere.

Meanwhile, I am perfecting Garudasana (Eagle’s Pose) to perform for my husband in the nude.

After that comment he made, this is what he’s getting for Valentine’s Day!

What are you getting your husband or boyfriend for Valentine’s Day?

Photo source: apogeewellness.com.

And there seems to be no escape from it when everywhere you go you see what appears to be happy couples, not to mention being bombarded with Hallmark advertisements and gifts at every turn.

But you can survive this illustrious day! It is, after all, just another day.

It’s all about perspective.

If you place a lot of emphasis on the symbolism of the day, it could adversely affect your mood and lead to a dreary existence on the 14th.

And since perspective, as the “Law of Attraction” states, creates the climate it’s embracing, this article is going to present a guide for bolstering your spirit on Valentine’s Day by challenging you to engage in specific, positive and action-oriented tasks that will leave you uplifted and affirmed by day’s end.

What follows is a checklist of “To-Do” items for navigating through your day on Feb. 14th that will keep your mindset focused on optimism and accomplishment.

Try to do as many of these on the list as you can, being sure to check off each item once it’s been completed as you master your day.

“By keeping your focus on self-improvement,

things can begin to happen for you.”

_____  Do something self-nurturing for yourself today as an act of self-love (e.g. get a massage, buy yourself flowers, etc.)

_____  Make a list of all the advantages of being single and why it can be viewed as an opportunity at this juncture in your life.

_____  Make a list of all the reasons why you’re a “good catch.”

_____  Nothing gets the mind off our blues than by being selfless and generous to others. Perform at least one act of kindness toward another person today with no strings attached. If you have time in your busy day, volunteer for a worthy cause to help others.

_____  Create a “Dating Action Plan” that incorporates a list of your negotiables and deal-breakers for a potential partner and relationship, the venues where you might meet qualified dating prospects and behaviors you’d like to strengthen to improve your odds. Rather than focusing on the “woes,” this activity is a constructive outlet for your energies that can actually help your dating cause.

_____  Send all of your friends Valentine’s Day cards like you did in elementary school.

_____  Throw a Valentine’s Day party for all your single friends so you can celebrate your singlehood and companionship with each other.

_____  Go out to an establishment where you will be able to find other gay men (bar, health club, etc.) and approach at least one man you find interesting to strike up a conversation. The goal is to interact and do something productive. Avoid focusing on the expectation of getting someone’s phone number. If that happens, bonus!

Improve your quality of life.

While some of these options may seem cheesy, the true mission here is to pull yourself out of the doldrums and to initiate a positive direction for yourself that will improve your quality of life.

It’s not so much about distracting yourself from Valentine’s Day, because that’s rarely effective.

It’s more about taking charge of your life and creating a positive momentum that will take you one step closer toward achieving your goals.

By keeping your focus and your actions on self-improvement, things can begin to happen for you.

The hope is by day’s end, you’ll feel more empowered and upbeat about your life, and the beauty about this checklist is you can carry it over into February 15 and beyond for maximum impact.

You’ll be great!

What are the ways you cope with being single on Valentine’s Day?

Photo source: visualphotos.com.

Of course, as an aficionado, you probably know how difficult it is to come up with a unique date idea.

Everything seems so cliche and overdone, and you want your Valentine’s Day to be special and memorable.

This year, skip the “traditional” Valentine’s Day date and plan your own kind of night.

Here are five ways you can have a unique Valentine’s Day:

1. No more boxes of chocolate.

Be honest — will you remember your $10 drugstore heart-shaped box a year from now?

Will you even remember it a month from now? This year, get creative.

Bake some chocolate cupcakes with different fillings, like peanut butter, caramel, hazelnut spread and marshmallow creme.

Give them to your love in a heart-shaped cake tin this year instead of purchasing a Valentine’s Day chocolate candy box.

They’ll appreciate the unique twist on this traditional Valentine’s gift.

2. Give up on roses.

While it’s expected to receive flowers on a romantic day, sometimes they’re just too predictable.

This year, instead of a dozen red roses, ask for something else that comes in bunches.

A once-a-month manicure, a fruit of the month club, even a bouquet of “nips” of alcohol make some interesting gifts that add a nice spin to the classic roses — and your sweetheart can still throw in a few flowers without having to break the bank.

“Forget the traditions and remember

what makes your relationship special.”

3. Ditch dinner and a movie.

The “classic” Valentine’s Day date has been done so many times that it’s boring at this point.

Try having an adventure with your partner this year. Explore places, sights, tastes and things you have never experienced together.

Go on a scavenger hunt, learn a new skill like rock climbing or take a salsa dancing or sushi class for a Valentine’s Day you’ll never forget.

4. Stop complaining.

There is nothing more cliche about Valentine’s Day than single women complaining they don’t have a date.

This year, take your singleness on V-Day as an opportunity to evaluate the things you love most about life, rather than wallowing in the fact you’re not in a relationship.

Love yourself and do something fun, like going to the spa or heading out for drinks with your single girlfriends.

5. Social media sharing.

Valentine’s Day may be a widespread holiday, but because of that, it is also one of the most popular days for “unfriending” on Facebook.

While you may love the flowers your boyfriend got you or he may appreciate the meal you two just had, cut back on the social media sharing.

This day is all about the two of you in your relationship and doesn’t concern anyone else – keep the special night to yourself.

The important thing this year is to celebrate Valentine’s Day in your own unique, memorable way.

Forget the traditions and remember what makes your relationship special.

Do yo have any unique plans for Valentine’s Day?

Photo source: danceparadenewyork.wordpress.com.