Seriously, let’s do a breakdown of historical chivalry and how men are misguided in modern chivalry.

According to Wikipedia:

“Chivalry is only a name for that general spirit or state of mind which disposes men to heroic actions. They submit to knightly virtues, honor, courtly love, courtesy and less martial aspects of the tradition. Knights were required to tell the truth at all times and always respect the honor of women.”

Was anyone else blown away that we use the word chivalry like it has any relation to the above?

Since when is pulling out a chair or opening a door heroic or honorable? Does it protect a woman or some bystander in some way?

I’m not a raging, angry feminist thinking guys that do this are ridiculous.

I genuinely think a woman should respect a man’s effort to be nice to her, but I’m tired of hearing about it in online dating profiles like it’s some kind of dating merit badge.

It’s not that impressive! You SHOULD treat your dates nice. This isn’t anything to brag about. You didn’t lift a car off a body or jump in front of a train.

“If you want to claim that chivalry badge,

you need to do more than open a door.”

There’s a Chris Rock joke I’ll botch, but basically it makes fun of guys that get all cocky and say, “I take care of my kids.”

And Chris Rock is like, “Yeah, you’re supposed to! You had kids. They need to be taken care of. That’s not anything special you’re doing!”

That’s how I feel about these guys that tout their chivalry in their online dating profile.

When’s the last time you took off your jacket and laid it out over a puddle? Did men actually do this?

I guess I am sad modern chivalry has become synonymous with opening a door and that it distinguishes guys as good guys.

As an American woman living in the UAE, Jessica feels American men are grossly lacking in the chivalry department compared to her dates abroad.

“Most of my dates bring me presents before every date and have flowers hand-delivered after every date,” she said. “Also, a lot of men here will get up and walk you to the bathroom and wait for you so you don’t have to walk through the bar/restaurant/hotel alone.”

While I prefer not to have anyone waiting outside the bathroom for me, I do have some rules for Western men.

Rules of chivalry you can easily follow:

• When you’re talking to a girl, don’t stare at the other chick’s ass that just walked by. Her eyes are on yours, buddy. She can see what you’re looking at.
• You should never, ever, ever let her pay for the first date. No Dutch. If she’s nice enough to offer, you better vehemently refuse and act insulted. Generosity is attractive. Being cheap implies selfishness. When you allow her to pay, you look cheap and selfish.
• You should drive to her. Don’t split the distance.
• You park and walk to the door to pick her up.
• You should plan the date based on what she likes (use Yelp, guys).
• Be consistent. Save turning hot/cold for your morning showers. Do what you say.
• You should walk her to her door and make sure she got home safe. Or text her to make sure she got home safe.
• Open her car door.
• If a woman has to take a cab without you, pay for it.
• Walk on the side of the woman that is closest to the street.
• Help an older woman with anything. Give up your seat.
• Don’t expect anything in “return” for taking her out.
• Don’t flirt with her friends or the staff.
• Order her drink at the bar. Bonus Points: Buy her friend’s drink, too.

None of these things are terribly hard – not nearly as hard as being a medieval knight. And they will make a great impression on your date.

But if you really want to claim that modern-day chivalry merit badge, you need to be doing a lot more than opening a door or pulling out a chair.

Fellas, what does modern chivalry look like to you?

Photo source: avoiceformen.com.

New research finds people have difficultly creating a post-breakup social media strategy.

Presented at the CHI 2013 conference in Paris, the research was led by University of California psychology professor Steve Whittaker and University of Lancaster professor Corina Sas.

Interviews were conducted with 24 participants aged 19 to 34 who self-identified as active users of multiple technologies for both work and leisure.

Half of the 24 respondents indicated they would delete old photos of exes following a split. Of the remaining 12, eight said they would keep all digital photos afterward.

The final four indicated only holding onto “treasured” items from the relationship.

“Social media users have difficultly

creating a post-breakup strategy.”

“I think that we were just surprised by the amount of digital content relating the relationships, in addition to Facebook,” Whittaker said. “You have stuff that relates to that person all over your digital devices.”

The report recommends people create a “Pandora’s Box” to hold all digital possessions until such time as they no longer cause pain or sadness.

Whittaker said Facebook can be an especially difficult experience as users watch a former partner move ahead without them.

He said he plans to expand his research to explore how divorce or differing cultures impact online behaviors. Social media is presenting a unique set of circumstances to separating couples, often dividing online friendships like a record collection.

“You can unfriend your ex, but also you have to make a decision about how much of their social network you want to rip out,” Whittaker said. “The problem is that they might be your friends, too. Then you transform your social network in a major way.”

Source: The University of California at Santa Cruz. Photo source: salon.com.

Well it’s time to debunk a few of the more prominent myths that exist in the world of online dating once and for all.

Let’s take a look at some of the biggest misconceptions people often have:

1. Online dating is a last resort for single people.

This is completely false. When online dating first started, sure, it was barely one step above taking out a personals ad in a newspaper.

Most people were desperate, strange and not exactly the type of men and women you would bring home to Mom.

Fast forward to the present and this isn’t even close to true anymore. Dating sites are filled with countless beautiful, successful and amazing people.

These days online dating is about as mainstream as can be and will only become more mainstream as the years go by and our world continues to dive deeper into a technology-driven world.

2. It will be easier to receive phone numbers.

Sometimes it is even harder to receive a phone number online than in real life. Even though online dating offers access to more partners, this also means more people are competing.

For every one girl a man hits on, 20 or more other men might be trying to gain her attention on any give night.

In order to compete, it is essential one learns how to properly create a dating profile and write emails that will spark high levels of interest and attraction. Otherwise, it will be extremely hard to receive phone numbers online.

“Online dating is as

safe as we make it.”

3. Going on multiple dates will make finding “The One” easier.

Many men and women serial date in the hopes they could find “The One” faster than ever. Unfortunately, playing the numbers game will not make the process go any faster.

In fact, it will only hinder the search, as we will likely wind up getting distracted by dating too many people who we shouldn’t be meeting to being with.

Finding the right person online has a lot to do with timing, making good choices and luck, just like in real life!

4. Online dating isn’t safe.

This is simply not true. Online dating is as safe as we make it.

First dates should always be held in public places where there are plenty of people around. In addition, a good amount of effort should be placed on trying to screen our dates accordingly.

The more we do our homework, the safer we will be.

5. Women online only care about looks.

This is far from true. If we create profiles that are designed to build attraction, show off our best qualities and really put a lot of effort into the emailing process, then it won’t be all about looks.

Women only become shallow when everything else is not up to standard. This is not their fault. It is our fault.

We can’t expect women not to judge us based solely on our looks if we don’t give them a good reason to!

Readers, have you heard these online dating myths before? Which ones do you agree or disagree with? Let me know in the comments below!

Photo source: welovedates.com.

If you’re looking for a break from the maddening world of dating, then take a look at our 10 Best Funny Dating Blogs. These dating sites are sure to entertain and shock you, all while taking your mind of your dating life.

My Life on Match & Moremylifeonmatchandmore.com

Bragging Rights: Stories that have to be shared

Lead by Emily Macintosh, a 30-something single living in Los Angeles, My Life on Match and More explores the ups and downs of online dating. Macintosh shares her dating horror stories in a very real and entertaining way. Have you ever been stalked by an online date? Macintosh has. And there’s plenty more where that came from.

Social Clout: 2,347+ followers, 59+ likes

URL: http://www.mylifeonmatchandmore.com/

Sex, Lies & Baconsexliesandbacon.com

Bragging Rights: Inspiring vaginas since 2009

Sex, Lies and Bacon is the brainchild of Melysa Schmitt, a single mom candidly sharing her adventures in dating. Through sassy posts like “Dating Mr. Douchetastic,” Schmitt hopes to encourage others to follow their own path to love. It’s easy to see why her readers trust and respect her. Plus, she’s not afraid of a cuss word…or two.

Social Clout: 3,748+ followers, 333+ likes

URL: http://www.sexliesandbacon.com/

Single Girl Bloggingsinglegirlblogging.com

Bragging Rights: Laughing about life

Single Girlie could easily cry about her single life, but instead she makes the best of it by sharing her experiences with readers like you. Her cringe-worthy stories are normally accompanied with hilarious infographics and photos that help get her point across. She’s not afraid to say what’s on her mind. She’s also a big fan of talking about penises, if that’s your thing too.

Social Clout: 5,439+ followers

URL: http://singlegirlblogging.com/

Cheezburger Datingfailblog.cheezburger.com/dating

Bragging Rights: Lightening up the seriousness of dating

Created by the ever-popular Cheezburger.com, the Fail Blog portion of the site has everything you love about Cheezburger but with a dating twist. You could spend hours scrolling through the side-splitting photos, videos and news posts. I promise it’s sure to make you forget how hard dating can be sometimes.

Social Clout: 1,654,383+ followers, 121,042+ likes

URL: http://failblog.cheezburger.com/dating

Soon to Be Cat Ladysoon2becatlady.com

Bragging Rights: Thoughtful lessons through hilarious mishaps

Soon to Be Cat Lady takes what every single woman fears and somehow makes it better. The site focuses on online dating situations that are both funny and desperate. There are also articles directed toward helping men, including “Should I Post Topless Pics On My Online Dating Profile?” and “Don’t Message Me If…” You’re sure to get a kick out of browsing through this site.

Social Clout: 804+ followers, 53+ likes

URL: http://soon2becatlady.com/

Catherinettecatherinette.wordpress.com

Bragging Rights: Bridget Jones has nothing on her

Most women remember hearing the tales of a princess being saved by Prince Charming on a white horse and living happily ever after. Well, Catherinette is here to uncover those lies and get to the truth when it comes to dating. With clever articles and hilarious nicknames for her dates like “Hairy McBacksweat,” you can’t go wrong with this funny dating blog.

Social Clout: 861+ followers, 333+ likes

URL: http://catherinette.wordpress.com/

Why They're Singlewhytheyresingle.com

Bragging Rights: A tribute to online dating excellence and failure

Have you ever wanted to share your latest dating mishap? Well look no further than Why They’re Single, a site created by a man who met the love of his life online, only after sorting through hundreds of ridiculous emails, awkward profiles, weird photos and disturbing online matches. This site will shock you, amuse you and fill you with nostalgia all at the same time – guaranteed.

Social Clout: 1,235+ followers, 509+ likes

URL: http://whytheyresingle.com/

Adventuresaurus Girladventursaurusgirl.blogspot.com

Bragging Rights: Every day is an adventure

Doesn’t matter if it’s at work, the grocery store, a bar or in the streets, Adventuresaurus Girl finds a crazy dating experience no matter where she goes. Readers can relate to her struggles, like going back and forth with the same date, and her short and to-the-point posts consistently keep you updated with her progress, failures and successes. Remember, life and dating is an adventure!

URL: http://adventuresaurusgirl.blogspot.com/

Dating Failsdatingfails.com

Bragging Rights: We’ve all been there

Created by a happily married couple just looking to share the awkward dating stories that might have never been told, Dating Fails consists of user-submitted content that will put a smile on your face and make you feel better about your dating life. The site teaches readers not to get a tattoo of an ex or talk about castrating horses on the first date, in case you didn’t know not to do those things.

URL: http://www.datingfails.com/

Will Date for Free Foodwilldateforfreefood.wordpress.com

Bragging Rights: Everyone loves free food

Will Date for Free Food is lead by Witty, Bodacious and Blondy, three single Bostonian girls exploring the world of online dating. The stories are raunchy and ridiculous, which makes them all the better! If you’re always telling your friends, “My life could be a sitcom,” this is the site for you. Don’t forget to check out articles like “Interoffice Romance Gone Bad” and “Online Dating Message Hell.”

URL: http://willdateforfreefood.wordpress.com/

Featured photo source: imgur.com.

A new study finds the more past romantic relationships a person has, the more interests they list on their Facebook profile.

Conducted by researchers from Western Illinois and Cornell Universities, the study found relationships breed new and sustaining interests with each new partner.

Involving 276 respondents, each answered a series of questions on past relationships and social media activity. A subset of 149 participants were given questions about current romantic partners.

“The more past relationships a person has,

the more interests they list on Facebook.”

Soon to be published in the July 2013 issue of Computers in Human Behavior, the study was authored by WIU assistant professor Christopher Carpenter and Erin Spottswood, of Cornell University.

Carpenter, a member of the university’s communications department, studies human interaction on social media sites such as Facebook and Twitter, which he said offer a unique window in our lives.

“When we develop a relationship with someone, we take on some of their interests and traits and, in many cases, hang on to them long after we break up,” he said. “Facebook offered a unique way of examining the extent to which those traces of past relationships remain in our profiles.”

Carpenter received considerable media attention last year for a study that explored a “dark side” of Facebook. That study compared Facebook activity with narcissistic or antisocial indicators.

“We can see how often people interact with their romantic partners on Facebook,” he said. “We can’t follow people around with a tape recorder getting a record of what they say all day. Facebook, on the other hand, offers us the chance to see one part of that record.”

Source: Western Illinois University. Photo source: telegraph.co.uk.

However, are you experiencing the results you were hoping to find? Or are you finding baby boomer online dating isn’t quite all it was cracked up to be?

The problem might not be that mature dating sites are the issue. The problem could reside in your profile.

1. Being so specific about your potential mate.

If you are new to Internet dating or haven’t been on a lot of dates in the past year, then aim for dates and not your mate in your dating profile.

The greatest benefit of online dating is the volume of people who see your profile and who you could possibly meet, so aim to meet several of the other midlife singles on the site.

Sure, major romance might happen with the very first date you go on. However, what is more likely to happen is your social circle could expand to incorporate more new people you meet, not all of whom were a match for you.

“Use positive statements that emphasize the

lifestyle you desire to share with a companion.”

You’ll never have the chance to meet if you scare them away with your choosey profile.

It’s better to leave a few openings for the romance and love to come into your life.

2. Using negative statements.

Instead, use positive statements that emphasize what you actively enjoy and want in a potential partner and the kind of lifestyle you desire to share with a companion.

Baby boomer men are turned off by your “I don’t want” profile statements. And almost every woman worries her midlife figure isn’t perfect enough to meet men’s “I’m not attracted to fat women” profile sentences.

It’s better to keep it light and use conversation that stresses the positive attributes about you and your potential mate. Then you’ll attract more responses and get out on more first dates.

Suddenly you’ll start feeling like online dating works for you!

Readers, what part of Internet dating do you find the most frustrating? How do you plan on fixing it?

Photo source: eharmony.com.

This week, Stewart appeared on the show again to let the world know she was indeed going to join Match.com.

Although women may make online dating seem effortless, behind the scenes they are beavering away to make sure they find the perfect partner.

With a bit of effort, you could follow their lead.

1. Women are more proactive than men.

Women are generally more proactive and organized when it comes to online dating.

To be more proactive yourself, you should sign into your account regularly, keep your profile and photos up to date, send lots of messages, reply to messages and add people to your favorite list.

2. Women write more than men.

When it comes to writing a dating profile, men seem to write a lot less than women, preferring to sum up their whole life in two lines instead of writing two paragraphs.

Although it’s never a good idea to ramble, try to write at least 100 words about what makes you who you are.

A ridiculously short profile gives the impression you can’t be bothered to make an effort and may make people think you are lazy.

“Women are generally more proactive

when it comes to online dating.”

3. Women put more photos up.

You wouldn’t put your house up for sale with one blurry photo taken from 100 feet away, but for some reason, a lot of men think it is OK to add a photo to their profile as an afterthought.

Instead of adding any old photo, try to add a good, clear head shot and a selection of photos that tell people more about you and what you like doing.

Also, try to alternate your profile picture from time to time, as different photos will appeal to different people.

4. Women get their friends to help.

Once you’ve written your profile, it is a good idea to get a close friend or family member to look over it.

Make sure you choose someone who knows you well and is willing to be very honest with you. After all, “It looks good,” won’t really help you improve your profile.

It’s important to note not all women work hard to find a partner, and there are a lot of men who do invest time and effort into ensuring they make the most of online dating.

Guys, which tips are you going to use to become better at online dating?

Photo source: rawstory.com.

Here are three super easy changes you can make without even typing a word.

Consequently, they will also help you to find love. Is it online dating magic? No. But you did say you’re ready to find some love, right?

Then what are you waiting for? 1, 2, 3, GO!

1. Your age range.

If your age range in your online dating profile is only two to three years on either side of your own age, then you are missing out.

You’re online dating, which means you are an adult. Adults can date a whole range of other adults. Not only can adults date other adults, but they can also fall in love.

Now we don’t need to be going all Harold and Maude here, but you need to open up the possibility the love of your life isn’t from your same graduating class.

You may say to yourself, “I don’t want to date someone who doesn’t know the same pop culture references as me.” (Harold and Maude, anyone?)

To which I answer just one thing: What’s more important? Your past or your present and future?

Choose the latter(s) and you’ll find plenty of commonalities are more important.

“I can’t tell you how many females have

some pretty hard guidelines on guys.”

2. Your distance.

I am in love with where I live. I don’t know if I could love a city any more than I do. I have a hard time picturing myself anywhere else.

But I have to weigh two things in my head: Do I love my city more than I could love a man? The answer to that is no.

And if your answer to that is no, you need to expand the radius to which you’re willing to meet someone. If a guy contacts you first, then he knows the distance required to court you, and if he’s willing to span it, let him!

Also, some people travel frequently for work, so making time to meet and see if there’s potential requires a lot less work than you think.

3. Your height preferences.

I can’t tell you how many females have some pretty hard guidelines on guys about this, and they are consequently shooting themselves in the digital foot!

There are quality men out there that aren’t 6 feet tall and over. They know they aren’t 6 feet tall either, so in addition to having phenomenal posture, shorter guys work harder in their careers, treat women better and work out more.

Why? Because they know they have to impress you with the things they can control.

I’ve met tons of these guys as clients – you wouldn’t believe their accomplishments and personalities. Truly, they are great catches. Don’t overlook them!

What else can you change in your profile to get more interesting matches?

Photo source: bp.blogspot.com.

This is *Robin’s question: “Do I or don’t I ask him to take down his profile? We’ve been dating for a while, but I see he’s still logging on.”

In this scenario, after only three dates with *Tim, Robin assumed they were in an exclusive relationship.

She projected to the future, filled her iPhone calendar with Saturday night dates for the next six months, thought about including him in her birthday plans for a weekend away and imagined kissing him at the stroke of midnight on New Year’s and receiving roses on Valentine’s Day.

Tim was Robin’s new dream guy.

The problem was they weren’t dreaming together.

Tim was on another digital path and Robin was someone he liked having a few dates with.

Robin took down her profile after the second date and assumed Tim felt the same way.

This wasn’t the case. Tim kept an active profile up and was playing the field.

Robin became focused on his profile status. She checked every day to see if Tim’s profile was still online and noticed the exact times he was logging on.

She created a digital log on her computer to monitor his online activity under another profile name.

“You can’t control someone else’s

decision to take down their profile.”

She became digitally obsessed.

Robin thought filling his social calendar would get Tim to think she was the only one for him.

Instead, she blew up at him one day and said he didn’t respect her because he was still logging on and checking out other women. She insisted he take down his profile and told him how hurt she was by his inactions.

The next day, after a month of dating, Tim broke up with Robin. It was too much drama for him and she became too clingy and needy. He decided she wasn’t his girl.

The lesson here is to remember not everyone is on the same digital page at the same time.

No one wants to feel pressured in a relationship.

Have you ever known of a man who got the big ultimatum to get married? Typically, this will backfire.

You can’t control someone else’s decision to make you their exclusive girlfriend or take down their profile.

You can only control how you respond to your date’s actions or inactions.

A guy will know when he’s feeling it for you. Give him a chance to come around.

Have you ever pressured someone to take down his or her profile? Do you think an unplugging ceremony together is a good idea?

Your comments and thoughts are welcome.

*Note: Names have been changed.

Photo source: tsminteractive.com.