What’s worse is they are dining with a couple who had been their closest mutual friends!

Rather than proceeding on and licking her wounds, she finds her body consumed with some unexplainable angry feeling. As if driven by some force, she parks her car, walks into the restaurant and launches into a scene.

She all but ignores the new girlfriend and reams into her ex, snidely asking if there was perhaps some overlap in their relationships. She wonders how her man can have another girlfriend so quickly.

She is hell bent for revenge. And the table is appalled.

The next day, the woman herself is rife with embarrassment. She knows they had been broken up for two months. Why had she done such a thing?

The result of a classic attachment injury.

An attachment injury is a rupture in a relationship at a critical moment of need. And it can make people behave in senseless ways.

In fact, that evening the woman had been reeling from the emotional toll of dealing with a friend suffering from cancer. When she passed the restaurant, she was driving home from the hospital.

Overwhelmed with feelings of fear, sadness and impending loss, her unconscious instinct was to navigate toward her familiar secure base. It may have been fate that took her to that restaurant, but something else walked her in the door.

On an emotional level, she saw her secure base (her boyfriend of four years) had fully abandoned her, thus the anger.

“Look through these situations with

the thinking part of your mind.”

On a conscious level, everyone knows better.

But the emotional mind works on its own time clock. Since the woman hadn’t yet created another secure base, an emotional safe haven, a person to receive comfort from, her reflex was to hope to find it in her previous go-to person – her ex.

Believe it or not, her unexplained anger was actually a silent bid for care. She felt utterly rejected and angry because she was feeling needy – as much as she hated to admit it.

And the added pain that he was dining with their mutual friends as if they were abandoning her too put her over the top. Her relationship was her go-to place and that night it wasn’t there for her.

Of course, on an intellectual level, she knew they were broken up, but her most tender attachment brain hasn’t learned that yet.

The solution?

Look through these situations with the thinking part of your mind to help the emotional part of your mind reframe things.

Time may heal attachment injuries and thoughtful work with a therapist can help you leave attachment injuries behind when you enter a new relationship.

A life of constant re-injury is not a life of loving relationships.

Ladies, have you ever acted like a crazy ex-girlfriend? I’d love to hear your stories.

Photo source: coedmagazine.wordpress.com.

There’s a similar boldness created through the anonymity of online dating, one I’ve labeled: Cyber Balls.

I experienced a new breed of man through online dating.

There was the guy who saw nothing wrong with sending email messages that read, “Nice breasts” or “Your hot. Let’s hook up.” That he used “your” instead of “you’re” was probably basis for deletion and the hookup? He had to be kidding.

I suppose it could have been worse, as he might’ve added the cherry on top of a penis picture. Isn’t every woman dying to date a horny, C-student pervert?

Ignoring those types of messages was probably the prudent choice, but there was something about the brazenness that made my fingers itch. The senders were all hopped up on zero accountability — a byproduct of online dating.

It’s much easier to throw caution to the breeze when you’re “MisterBigStick” instead of “John from accounting.”

It was time consuming to send responses with the perfect balance of snark and shaming, and I quickly began to wonder, “Why bother?” Even if they apologized, I would never date them.

“Call out the fools who have contacted

you with presumptuous messages.”

I eventually came to the conclusion sometimes we need to do things for others that have no benefit to ourselves.

How does anyone learn appropriate versus inappropriate behavior? Someone tells them.

Maybe these men had confused online dating with catalog shopping. Perhaps they surmised that socially acceptable behavior in the real-world dating arena did not apply when electronically connected.

“Why waste time with pleasantries when we’re both single and here for the same thing, so meet me at 8, Caligrl70, and show me your tits.”

Cyber Balls is at epidemic proportions.

And it’s not limited to online dating.

If you want confirmation, read the comments section after any article posted online. I guarantee those commenters (hiding behind a username and avatar) wouldn’t dream of saying those things to the author’s face.

Nor would any of the men I experienced walk up to me in a bar and say, “What you number?” Yes, that was one message I received and I replied, “What you crazy?”

It felt good to give it back to those men and I’d highly recommend trying it. Do it for man or womankind, as the ladies are just as guilty as the guys.

Report the men who’ve sent you penis photos or ladies baring their double D’s. Send a message letting them know they’re busted. Then block them.

Call out the fools who have contacted you with presumptuous messages or dating profiles stating they want someone “athletic and toned” while they’re carrying around 20 extra pounds.

Perhaps they’ll disregard your words but maybe, just maybe, you’ll reach one person and he or she will grasp the negative impact their communication is having on their love life and adjust their online presence with the next man or woman.

I saw it as good dating karma to help someone else (yep, even a jerk) find love.

Given the reality of my situation as a single woman over 50 living in a city where women outnumber men, I needed all the good dating juju I could round up.

What followed was a movement he founded in response to non-nutritious fast food simply called “slow food.”

At first the group was small with a single-minded goal: boycott fast food and return to the more time-consuming preparations that grandmothers had perfected, which included a wider variety of plants than are commercially grown.

Before long, the missives of slow food included supporting local farmers, avoiding mass-produced food, choosing organic, taking the time needed to prepare unprocessed food from scratch and joining family and friends more often at communal tables.

Today, the worldwide slow food movement has given way to other lifestyle trends that eschew technology and a fast-paced, often unhealthy life.

These include slow travel and slow design. These movements put human mental and physical health above profits and technology.

Slow love emerges.

In the world of online dating, digital hookups, speed dating, sexting and high breakup rates, it only makes sense “slow love” should emerge.

Slow love is a philosophy I coined in my book “The 30-Day Love Detox” to describe a trend where men and women put quality relationships above sexual opportunity by slowing down the pace of the physical relationship to allow the vulnerable emotional brain to create a more lasting bond.

It’s a way to say no to junk food sex and and yes to a healthy, supportive relationship.

And, make no mistake about it, slow love isn’t some old-fashioned return to traditional gender roles where women withhold sex to make a man think his longing is love.

It’s a call for new courtship rituals that allow the men and women to build trust before sex.

“Low-criteria relationships make it difficult

to make sound relationship choices.”

The tenants of slow love are:

1. Dump junk food sex!

And get rid of poor nutritional relationships. Low-criteria relationships — the ones that bring sex without commitment or expressions of love — cloud our vision and make it difficult to make sound relationship choices.

They also train our bodies to need low-substance variety.

2. Say no!

Adopt healthy sexual boundaries. Learn the vital communication skills you need to slow down the pace of a new romantic relationship.

3. Wait!

Delay the onset of sexual activity with a new partner until a healthy degree of emotional intimacy is established.

4. Stop typing!

Reduce the use of digital technology in courtship. Supplement it with telephone conversations and face-to-face nonsexual interactions.

5. Say “I love you” before sex.

Create a positive “passion turning point” through sex by exchanging a verbal expression of love before sexual activity begins.

I hope you’ll read more about slow love in “The 30-Day Love Detox” so you can find the care and commitment you deserve.

Are you going to follow these steps to practicing slow love? Which step was your favorite? I’d love for you to join the conversation!

Photo source: brothersoft.com.

“Work you” can be overstressed, tired, aggressive and cranky. She wants answers and she wants them now.

“Work you” can also be a woman who’s impatient, intolerant and rigid. Let’s be clear: This is not the way you want to show up for a date.

We’re not saying you have to turn into a damsel in distress or play the “dumb” card, but we do want you to be the best version of you: a successful woman who’s also rested, intelligent and a go-getter!

Either way, it’s important to be able to transition from “work you” to “date you” for your after-work meet and greets!

Dating with Dignity has some pointers for how to do this effortlessly:

1. Bring a bag with a sexy, fresh outfit.

If you get dressed and ready for your happy hour date at 8 a.m., chances are even if you get a chance to freshen up, you aren’t going to feel shiny and new.

Instead, bring a change of clothes and your “Dating with Dignity Sexy Alpha Fem Goody Bag.”

Your goody bag can include perfume, a pair of sexy power panties, power pumps, a hot new eyeliner that perhaps isn’t your basic black and a signature accessory that’s a great conversation piece.

Doing this quick change before you go out will help you get excited and into your feminine mojo, thus increasing your attraction factor dramatically.

“Rushing into a date without taking a

minute will ensure ‘work you’ shows up.”

2. Schedule an early workout the day of your post-work date.

An early morning yoga sesh is a wonderful way to start your day!

Not only will you pump yourself full of endorphins, but the two- to five-minute meditation at the end of your workout can help put you into a positive, hopeful state.

In addition, a healthy dose of early morning self-care will help you feel good about your curves (not to mention it ensures you take a shower before your date)!

Whether it’s yoga or a 20-minute walk around your block, moving your body in some way before your date will help bring good feminine energy to your evening.

3. Take a breath BEFORE you meet for drinks.

Rushing straight into a date and checking your email one last time while you’re waiting for him to arrive (or pick you up) without taking a minute to relax will definitely ensure “work you” shows up to meet your date.

Create a specific, intentional transition from work to romance. Shut down your computer, turn off your phone and take quiet time to connect to your feminine self.

Whether you meditate, take time to create the mental list of what you’re grateful for in your life as a single woman or just take three deep, diaphragmatic breaths, slowing down can help you transition seamlessly into making a good first impression.

Remember, having a career doesn’t mean you need to bring it on your date like a third wheel.

Leave that “work you” at work, connect to your sexy alpha female and remember dating with dignity can be fun!

So what do you think? How do you go from “work you” to “date you”? Do any of these tactics work for you?

Photo source: sheknows.com.

Everyone inside or outside of a dating service should be given their fair shot, but it takes a methodical, organic unveiling in due time to really understand someone you are dating.

Peter Pan Syndrome.

One caveat to this rule, however, is if you are in the terrible, time-consuming, wasteful cycle of dating boys – physically grown “men” with real jobs, hair on their chests, solid incomes and even their own homes.

These men are so fervently cautioned to single women everywhere by matchmakers and relationship experts alike because they are simply just Peter Pans.

They are products of the male gender who look, act, work and sound like real men but are just playboys in disguise who will never, ever, (I repeat) EVER be willing or ready to settle down.

No, you will not be any “different” from the women in the past who have tried effortlessly to tame him – only to end up surrounded by pieces of a broken heart.

As someone who sizes up people’s commitment levels for a living as a professional matchmaker, I can tell you a thing or two about this psychological syndrome coined by experts as PPS (Peter Pan Syndrome).

More of these men exist than ever before.

Apparently there are many cases of this phenomenon of emotionally stunted individuals arising in the Western world more so than ever before.

According to an article on beaumontpsych.com, PPS describes men who are childlike in their relationships, their ability to handle responsibilities and their pursuit of pleasure.

The article reads, “He’s a man because of his age, a child because of his acts. The man wants your love, the child your pity. The man yearns to be close, the child is afraid to be touched. If you look past his pride, you’ll see his vulnerability. If you defy his boldness, you’ll feel his fear.”

“A real man will not go running in the

opposite direction at talk of a future.”

You’re dating a boy if…

If you have ever dated someone who you just couldn’t quite connect with on a deeper level other than the physical, you were probably dating a boy.

Guys with these characteristics appear to be emotionally stunted at an adolescent level. They balk at the thought of a future with one person and speak of marriage in a negative, sardonic manner.

They may be “open” to having children of their own but would be just as fine without them.

Their impulses take priority over any internalized sense of right and wrong. Ultimately, they lead you down a path that only shadows their own selfish desires, wasting your good years en route.

You’re dating a man if…

A real man will not go running in the opposite direction at talk of a future and/or a family once you two have been dating exclusively.

He will not engage in puerile pipe dreams. Instead, he will plan a secure, meaningful and stable future with yours in mind. He will pursue you, court you, show interest and not be afraid to allow you into his life.

He will not avoid confrontation with cowardice, but he will face any problems in the relationship head on. He will endure the challenges all relationships encounter.

Most importantly, he will be wise enough to claim you as his own and never let you go.

And that is the difference between a boy and a man.

Have you ever dated a man with Peter Pan Syndrome? How did you handle it? I’d love to hear your stories.

Photo source: images-amazon.com.

If you’re looking for a break from the maddening world of dating, then take a look at our 10 Best Funny Dating Blogs. These dating sites are sure to entertain and shock you, all while taking your mind of your dating life.

My Life on Match & Moremylifeonmatchandmore.com

Bragging Rights: Stories that have to be shared

Lead by Emily Macintosh, a 30-something single living in Los Angeles, My Life on Match and More explores the ups and downs of online dating. Macintosh shares her dating horror stories in a very real and entertaining way. Have you ever been stalked by an online date? Macintosh has. And there’s plenty more where that came from.

Social Clout: 2,347+ followers, 59+ likes

URL: http://www.mylifeonmatchandmore.com/

Sex, Lies & Baconsexliesandbacon.com

Bragging Rights: Inspiring vaginas since 2009

Sex, Lies and Bacon is the brainchild of Melysa Schmitt, a single mom candidly sharing her adventures in dating. Through sassy posts like “Dating Mr. Douchetastic,” Schmitt hopes to encourage others to follow their own path to love. It’s easy to see why her readers trust and respect her. Plus, she’s not afraid of a cuss word…or two.

Social Clout: 3,748+ followers, 333+ likes

URL: http://www.sexliesandbacon.com/

Single Girl Bloggingsinglegirlblogging.com

Bragging Rights: Laughing about life

Single Girlie could easily cry about her single life, but instead she makes the best of it by sharing her experiences with readers like you. Her cringe-worthy stories are normally accompanied with hilarious infographics and photos that help get her point across. She’s not afraid to say what’s on her mind. She’s also a big fan of talking about penises, if that’s your thing too.

Social Clout: 5,439+ followers

URL: http://singlegirlblogging.com/

Cheezburger Datingfailblog.cheezburger.com/dating

Bragging Rights: Lightening up the seriousness of dating

Created by the ever-popular Cheezburger.com, the Fail Blog portion of the site has everything you love about Cheezburger but with a dating twist. You could spend hours scrolling through the side-splitting photos, videos and news posts. I promise it’s sure to make you forget how hard dating can be sometimes.

Social Clout: 1,654,383+ followers, 121,042+ likes

URL: http://failblog.cheezburger.com/dating

Soon to Be Cat Ladysoon2becatlady.com

Bragging Rights: Thoughtful lessons through hilarious mishaps

Soon to Be Cat Lady takes what every single woman fears and somehow makes it better. The site focuses on online dating situations that are both funny and desperate. There are also articles directed toward helping men, including “Should I Post Topless Pics On My Online Dating Profile?” and “Don’t Message Me If…” You’re sure to get a kick out of browsing through this site.

Social Clout: 804+ followers, 53+ likes

URL: http://soon2becatlady.com/

Catherinettecatherinette.wordpress.com

Bragging Rights: Bridget Jones has nothing on her

Most women remember hearing the tales of a princess being saved by Prince Charming on a white horse and living happily ever after. Well, Catherinette is here to uncover those lies and get to the truth when it comes to dating. With clever articles and hilarious nicknames for her dates like “Hairy McBacksweat,” you can’t go wrong with this funny dating blog.

Social Clout: 861+ followers, 333+ likes

URL: http://catherinette.wordpress.com/

Why They're Singlewhytheyresingle.com

Bragging Rights: A tribute to online dating excellence and failure

Have you ever wanted to share your latest dating mishap? Well look no further than Why They’re Single, a site created by a man who met the love of his life online, only after sorting through hundreds of ridiculous emails, awkward profiles, weird photos and disturbing online matches. This site will shock you, amuse you and fill you with nostalgia all at the same time – guaranteed.

Social Clout: 1,235+ followers, 509+ likes

URL: http://whytheyresingle.com/

Adventuresaurus Girladventursaurusgirl.blogspot.com

Bragging Rights: Every day is an adventure

Doesn’t matter if it’s at work, the grocery store, a bar or in the streets, Adventuresaurus Girl finds a crazy dating experience no matter where she goes. Readers can relate to her struggles, like going back and forth with the same date, and her short and to-the-point posts consistently keep you updated with her progress, failures and successes. Remember, life and dating is an adventure!

URL: http://adventuresaurusgirl.blogspot.com/

Dating Failsdatingfails.com

Bragging Rights: We’ve all been there

Created by a happily married couple just looking to share the awkward dating stories that might have never been told, Dating Fails consists of user-submitted content that will put a smile on your face and make you feel better about your dating life. The site teaches readers not to get a tattoo of an ex or talk about castrating horses on the first date, in case you didn’t know not to do those things.

URL: http://www.datingfails.com/

Will Date for Free Foodwilldateforfreefood.wordpress.com

Bragging Rights: Everyone loves free food

Will Date for Free Food is lead by Witty, Bodacious and Blondy, three single Bostonian girls exploring the world of online dating. The stories are raunchy and ridiculous, which makes them all the better! If you’re always telling your friends, “My life could be a sitcom,” this is the site for you. Don’t forget to check out articles like “Interoffice Romance Gone Bad” and “Online Dating Message Hell.”

URL: http://willdateforfreefood.wordpress.com/

Featured photo source: imgur.com.

What do you do next? Star in a reality show of course.

Such is the background of “What Would Ryan Lochte Do?” a dating show of sorts on E! that debuted in late April.

The series follows Lochte as he prepares for the 2016 Summer Olympics, creates a fashion line, makes media appearances and spends time with friends and family, as well as goes on a number of dates searching for a woman he can call “The One.”

While the concept of the show is nothing new or even that unique, it does beg the question:

Would you date Ryan Lochte?

Or would you date any small town celebrity? And if you would put your life and relationship in front of a film crew, what expectations would there be?

Manhattan native Emily Winsor, 30, said she thinks a date with Lochte would be something casual and fun but is concerned dating on TV would prevent real feelings from forming.

“For the first date, I would expect it to be something local, a place where he likes to hang out — low key, nothing too fancy,” Winsor said. “I think being filmed 24/7 would initially force your relationship to stay in the honeymoon stage.”

“Lochte is known for taking different girls

to the same restaurant for a first date.”

Katie Duggan, 35, of St. Augustine, Fla., said she would want a first date with a small town celebrity such as Lochte to be personal and private, like having him cook her dinner, but would be hesitant about being on camera.

“The camera would prevent candid interactions and create a facade,” she said. “It would be like you’re in a relationship with a lot more than two people.”

Is this in bad taste?

Lochte is known as a notorious party boy who calls his posse of friends the “Lochterage.” He is also known for taking different girls to the same restaurant for a first date.

Dan Condon, 41, of Boulder, Colo., said he’s actually done this before as a way to guarantee a fun date.

“I ask first dates if they have a favorite spot,” he said. “If they show no preference, I hit up my favorite spot where the staff knows me and where I know I’m comfortable and will have a good time even if the date is a snoozer.”

However, Winsor looks at it from a woman’s perspective and offers her own advice for Lochte.

“I would definitely not go to the same restaurant he takes all his other first dates. Doing that makes him look like a cad,” she said. “If he wants to go on a date, he should put some effort in. What should Ryan Lochte do? Mix it up, dude.”

What will Ryan Lochte do? Will he find true love? Stay tuned to find out.

Photo source: justjared.com.

It’s easy to see why women, facing a daunting proportion of men who won’t commit, can become frustrated — especially if motherhood is one of their goals.

When I was doing research for my book, “The 30-Day Love Detox,” I held a series of wine and cheese focus groups in my living room.

I plied young single women with Chardonnay and olives to help the dating horror and success stores flow.

Many women blamed men.

I wasn’t surprised to hear the level of frustration so many young women feel, but I was surprised to learn so many women blamed men.

In fact, plenty had become downright man haters, feeling women to be victimized by the high-supply sexual economy and perceiving men to be selfish users of women.

True, women are on the losing end when sex becomes so easy for men that they lose ambition and an ability to commit.

These days a young man can sit in his mom’s basement until he is 30, playing Xbox and asking women to text him naked pictures of themselves.

He doesn’t need to wine and dine a woman when a willing and able woman invites him to her condo whenever he needs an invitation.

And why should he commit? Why should he buy the cow when he can text in a herd?

The truth is this is no one’s fault.

I can see why women feel angry, but no one could have foreseen this no-rules relationship revolution.

This high-supply sexual economy is a strange byproduct of something fabulous: the economic rise of women.

These days more women graduate from college than men, women make up the majority of the workforce and 20-something women make more money than their male peers in most large cities.

When this happens, women no longer have to wait until a guy signs on the bottom line to support them and their offspring in a contract called marriage. They can now enjoy the pleasure of sex just for the sake of pleasure.

Sadly, too much sex makes men less likely to commit and that same woman who loves being single also understands that parenthood is best played as a two-person sport.

“Guys are as confused as you

by the free, cheap sex available.”

Here’s the good news:

Not all men are so happy with a high-supply sexual economy.

Plenty of men are being pressured to conform to a narrow definition of male sexuality (something that was invented back when sex had a high price), which is take all sex, any sex, at any cost.

Today, the cost is the loss of crucial relationship building that only happens before the onset of a sexual relationship.

Many men want to commit.

Plenty of players would be happy with one, kind, smart, trustful girlfriend instead of the revolving bed of highly sexualized women.

But the only way to identify these men is to give them the space to showcase their intentions. And, sigh, that can’t be done while you are knocking boots.

Research shows people who have sex within 30 days of dating have almost a 90 percent chance of being broken up within one year.

Delaying the onset of the sexual relationship is the only way to tell the dads from the cads, the commitment-oriented men from the players.

So it’s time to renew your faith in men. Most men aren’t selfish people with little compassion for a woman’s emotions. The poor guys are as confused as you by the free, cheap sex available.

I’ve even talked to young men who use Viagra because of the pressure to perform on cue.

Women, we can fix this. It’s time to start really loving men. A good mother doesn’t give her child a cookie before dinner.

Ladies, have you lost your faith in men? How do you plan on renewing that faith?

Photo source: mamaslatinas.com.

There is no way to have it all and be it all because as soon as one acquires “it,” another allusive “it” comes into play.

Today’s woman is taught in order to have security and protection, she needs to be hyper independent and in control, which are two ways to squeeze out happiness.

Furthermore, this phony protective measure is really tough on men who, in general, are wired to contribute to women’s happiness.

Men get vitality from happy women, and the effect is greatly compounded when they provide an opportunity for more happiness.

Unhappy women deplete men. If a man does whatever he can to make a woman happy and she is closed down in a protective mode, it erodes his confidence and challenges his masculinity.

Many men come to me who have been worn out.

One client spoke of how he desperately tried to fix his girlfriend or make her happy. Neither of them realized she was unable to make herself happy.

Therefore, no attempt he made could have the desired effect.

When a woman cannot source happiness within, there is no way for her to allow others to contribute to her happiness. It is a lose/lose situation.

“When a woman cannot source happiness

within, others can’t contribute to her happiness.”

We have all been in a restaurant at the table next to a woman who is down and depressed or complaining. It’s as if she’s drawing the life force out of every being within earshot.

We also know the benefit of receiving a genuine warm smile from a woman as she walks down the street. The ripple effect is huge.

When a woman receives love and happiness, all around her are warmly affected. When she is closed down to receiving, she is like a Death Eater from “Harry Potter” and makes things bleak.

Watch for women who are able to be happy as they are.

These are the ones who can access joy within and look for opportunities to grow their happiness in every corner.

You can spot them smiling as they walk down the street, allowing others to open doors for them (women can also open doors for other women) and receiving any attempt made to contribute to their happiness with gratitude.

Guys, what signs tell you a woman is unavailable? How do you plan on finding a woman who is happy with who she is?

Photo source: mirror.co.uk.

I am overweight but a great person. Men don’t want to give it a chance unless they want just sex or money.

Why are men so superficial?

-C.J. (Pennsylvania)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear C.J.,

Men tend to be more visually wired than women. Couple that with a hyper focus on youth and beauty in the gay community and good men like you often get overlooked.

I assure you that you are not alone and I encourage you to examine your choices in mates.

Are you in fact overlooking some great people because you may have also internalized the focus on good looks yourself?

My suggestion would be to use an online dating site in a different way. Instead of beefing up your physical or financial attributes to attract someone, write in a deeply personal way about your values.

Authentic people attract other authentic people. Talk sincerely about what you have learned in life so far and what your goals are.

If your online profile is a mundane list of height, salary and zip codes, you won’t passionately energize anyone.

Be the standout person who is real and you will find a real relationship.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.