Relationships can be beautiful. They begin with sparks, blossom with love and end when they need to.
While an amicable split might make for a peaceful reality, the real stories come from tumultuous breakups, makeups and revenge. Acts of post-breakup vengeance have taken a turn for crazy town — these plots make kissing his best friend look like a gesture of love.
Although we would never want to be on the receiving end of them, they are amusing from afar. Here are a few of the best ways exes have avenged former lovers.
It’s simple yet effective: Sending your ex a bounty of glitter might just be the best $9.99 you ever spend.
The company will send your ex an envelope of glitter with a heartfelt note explaining why he or she is worthy of such a gift. And bonus — it’s the gift that keeps on giving because everybody knows glitter never goes away.
It’s a beautiful metaphor: Your ex was clearly a pest, so why not adopt one in his or her honor?
Around Valentine’s Day, the San Francisco Zoo lets people adopt cockroaches and sends them a letter explaining your love for them can be summed up in a critter. If you’re feeling extra gutsy, you can shell out a few extra dollars for a scorpion.
3. Stripper Delivery
Ah, a package just for him! Send your straight ex-boyfriend a male stripper for an ultimate act of vengeance.
Although effective regardless, this is best done under the right circumstances. During boys’ poker night? When he brings a new girl back to his apartment for the first time? Check and check.
Let him make your ex awkward, and then tell the real-world “Magic Mike” to head over to your girls’ night festivities.
4. Faux Auction
This is a good prank to pull on anyone, but it is especially fitting for an evil ex.
Exes have posted their former flame’s number on listing sites, stating they are selling something underprice, like an expensive TV for $100. The calls will roll in until you take the ad down.
5. The One-Two Slap
One reddit user had the comebacks of all comebacks.
When his vengeful ex sent him a scandalous photo of her and a new fling, he didn’t waste a minute moping. Instead, he forwarded the photo to her dad — no caption needed. That’s pure evil genius if we’ve ever seen it.
6. The Evil Teddy Bear
Sending a teddy bear to a significant other is often a sign of affection, but with a few tweaks, that teddy bear can turn straight-up demonic.
Step 1: Supersize it. A 6-foot-tall teddy is cumbersome and weighs in at about 20 pounds of pure fuzz. Step 2: Send it to your ex at work — nothing says public shame like your co-workers can.
Who knew revenge could be so snuggly?
Photo sources: latimes.com, facebook.com/officialshipyourenemiesglitter, usmagazine.com, khitschicago.cbslocal.com, reddit.com, sodahead.com, digitalspy.com, cambio.com,