4 Reasons Why She Gave You The Cold Shoulder

Men's Dating

4 Reasons Why She Gave You the Cold Shoulder

Heather Jones

Written by: Heather Jones

Heather Jones

Heather Jones is a writer who puts a lighthearted yet honest spin on casual dating and relationships. Her “bottom line” approach to dating advice will leave you with clear and concise answers to today’s dating dilemmas.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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For the guys out there reading this, I apologize in advance because your ego is about to get the one-two punch.

Fellas, I hate to tell you but when a girl goes cold, it generally means you f****d up.

She might give you the old “It’s not you. It’s me” line, or she might tell you she got back together with her ex. Do not be fooled.

It is about you, dude. I guarantee you did something to turn her off or scare her away.

Instead of beating you down with 20 reasons, I will focus on just four. Let me break them down for you in no particular order:

1. You came on too strong.

We met you, we liked you, we agreed to go out with you, we like hanging out with you and we want to continue hanging out with you.

Now, do not turn into a possessive, controlling, or even worse, needy and insecure guy.

We do not want a guy who is texting us every five minutes when we do not respond immediately.

We are busy. Just like you are. We have careers, kids, commitments and might be dating other guys. Sometimes it takes a minute for a girl to warm up, so just be patient.

2. You have a disgusting habit.

I dated this really cute guy several years ago. After a few months, he invited me over to his place for dinner. I liked him a lot and was super excited about the idea of us finally having sex.

His house was so filthy that I literally made up an excuse to leave immediately. I did not respond to any of his voice mails or text messages again.

This may seem harsh, but to me that sounded better than telling him he was a dirty, disgusting pig.

Get a clue and clean your shit up, man.

“If she is not saying

anything, make sure to ask.”

3. You lied.

Some girls will look the other way after catching a guy in a lie. A girl with any self-respect will not be able to, especially if you have only been dating a short time. She may not even tell you that is why she went cold.

Ask yourself if you have been lying to her lately and you will probably find your answer. Girls can smell a lie quicker than the FBI.

4. You suck in bed.

Your kiss is too violent. Maybe things are all about you. Maybe you suck because you do not bother with foreplay. Or maybe you think there is something wrong with a girl if she is not wet.

Maybe the reason is you bite too hard, you pound us like you are a teenager or you are not any fun.

Is there any need for me to continue? Make an effort in bed. Listen to what a woman says. If she is not saying anything, make sure to ask her what’s going on…or not going on…and what you can do to get her there.

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