Follow Three Date Rule

Men's Dating

Should You Follow the Three-Date Rule?

David Wygant

Written by: David Wygant

David Wygant

David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship coach, author and speaker. To find out more about David and all of his dating and relationship-building products, visit

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Does the three-date rule really exist, or is it purely myth and legend?

  • Date 1: Coffee or drinks
  • Date 2: Dinner and drinks
  • Date 3: Dinner, drinks, something else fun and then home for sex

Is this three-date rule something you need to follow?

Well, when it comes to dating, I love to think outside the box and keep things interesting.

You see, women are conditioned to believe men will start putting on the pressure for sex by the third date, and that’s where the clutter comes in.

I like to be in control. I’m a man who sets his own rules. I like to do things differently, so the longer you make her wait for sex and the more you tease her, the more she’s going to desire you.

The longer you leave her wanting you, the more she’ll need you and beg you for sex. I like to hold out as long as I possibly can.

Don’t get me wrong. I’m no saint by any way, shape or form. But if you really like a woman and want to get to know her on a deeper level, what difference does it make if you don’t have sex until date four or five?

If you plan to be there for the long term, what difference is an extra few dates going to make before you have sex?

“You don’t want a woman

to regret sleeping with you.”

Here’s the revised dating template:

  • Date 1: Do something fun.

Maybe mini-golf, bowling or anything fun you can do together. The weather is starting to get nice again, so look at all the outdoor activities you could do together.

  • Date 2: Go out for a nice meal.

But go somewhere clever or cute. Think outside the box a bit. Don’t just pick the nearest fancy restaurant to you. Go somewhere where they have live music or something fun.

I’ve been to a few Greek restaurants that do plate smashing. That’s always a fun date. Pick somewhere that doesn’t push the romantic atmosphere too much.

  • Date 3: Go back to some sort of activity.

Go for a walk. Go to a driving range. Try something different. All these dates end with a nice kiss.

Use the dates to build the sexual chemistry between you and make sure you let the woman know you’re attracted to her. It’s important to kiss her or at least hug her and hold her hand. That shows her you’re in control sexually.

  • Date 4: Have dinner at your place.

It’s all very casual and fun. You light some candles, you talk, you hang out and you cuddle up on the couch. It starts to get late and that’s when you tell her she can stay over.

This is something I tell every guy I coach: If you want the greatest sex of your life, let her sleep over the first time without having sex with her.

Literally let her sleep over like you had sleepovers as a kid. Give her a pair of pajamas, spoon her and make her feel safe and comfortable. When you do that, she’s going to be aching to have sex with you, and it doesn’t matter what date it is.

Take your time.

Instead of the three-date rule for sex, make it the four-date rule for sleeping over. Make it a four-date rule to make her feel comfortable. In reality, it’s about having great sex rather than just getting laid.

You don’t want a woman to regret sleeping with you. Build up that sexual tension between you and watch the difference. You can thank me later!

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