How to Ask a Girl If She Has a Boyfriend

Imagine you’re doing your weekly grocery run, waiting for your car to be serviced or hanging out with friends at the neighborhood watering hole.

You look around and across the room — or even right next to you — there’s a girl you want to meet. You smile; she flashes one back.

So how do you find out if she has a boyfriend? You follow these simple steps:

If you’re like me, the first thing you do is glance at her ring finger for vacancy. Nothing? Check!

Second, are there any children around? This usually means their father probably isn’t too far away. Check, we’re good!

Third, is she smiling and laughing into her phone while playing with her hair? If so, chances are there’s a guy on the other end. This is not so good.

But if she’s not, it’s time to make your move and strike up a conversation, hopefully giving you your chance at a great relationship.

Now, should things look good so far, you’ll never really know her status unless you do one thing:

Not so easy, right? And even if there is someone else, your macho self says you can win her over, that you’re the better man. The thing is, though, it could really help your situation knowing upfront what’s going on inside her life, relationship-wise.

How do you find out for sure? I’ve come up with some ideas.

Wait, before I do, let me start by saying this: If she has a boyfriend, should that keep you from trying? What if she agrees to go out anyway and you discover she isn’t happy with her situation, is still playing the field or likes you better?

Dating is all about finding the right one for you, and lots of times we find that “special one” while seeing someone else. Truth be told, even if you found out she’s already involved, her respect and attraction toward you will only increase if you try. Women hate weak men and love those trying things when the odds are against them. They like the hunters.

OK, but still you’d like to know. How do you find out without getting egg on your face? Simple: Ask but be prepared.

During a conversation say something like:

• What does your boyfriend think about that?
• Is your boyfriend here?
• I hope I’m not taking your boyfriend’s seat.
• Would I get you into trouble if I asked to see you again?
• Would you happen to be single? I’d love to get to know you better. Maybe over lunch sometime?

Believe me, most women like the extra attention even if they’re head over heels with another, and doing this will only increase your self-esteem if you try.

Even if you find out that she’s taken, it’s a great way of learning how to handle rejection and respond positively, and this attitude can only help you next time around.

But what if you’d like to find out without asking? There are some more subtle ways:

If you have shared friends, it’s really easy to ask one of them about the girl you’re interested in. Other times, they may actually talk about her boyfriend. Just don’t be too obvious about it. People love to gossip.

Don’t use this as a reason to stalk or constantly keep tabs. People get into trouble doing this, but if you’d like to peek at her Facebook relationship status or browse her posts on Twitter, that’s OK.

If she’s in a relationship, she’ll also have pictures reflecting how and who she spends her time with — unless she’s extremely private and doesn’t feel the need to share.

While discussing everyday topics, chances are she’ll bring up her boyfriend (if there is one) or her interest in someone else. This is also a good way to find out how much you really like her. You might discover your interests are very different.

The way she acts can sometimes give away signals that she has a boyfriend or is really interested in someone else.

Is she constantly on the phone texting and smiling? Is she always busy running off to some social event? Does she ignore looks from other men? None of this is a surefire way of finding out, but some girls can reflect a strong signal.

There are a lot of other ways of discovering a girl’s relationship status, and I’ve only named a few, but you should consider that dating and the whole scenario of finding the right one often involves competing with others. It’s natural and just part of the game.

Whether you find out the one you’re target has romantic interests elsewhere or not, the best thing to do is move where your heart leads. Just go for it. As the saying goes, “If it’s meant to be, it will be.”

Are you interested in someone and wondering if they are already involved? Leave a comment below and we’ll be happy to discuss.