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Mary Gorham Malia
The holidays are wonderful and tough. There’s the magical part of the holidays: music, romance, gifts, time with friends and family and lots of good food and alcohol.
Then there’s the really tough part of the holidays. It’s the perfect storm for breakups to happen.
When you look at the chart above, you’ll see two big peaks: from Thanksgiving to Christmas and from Valentine’s Day to spring break.
The holiday season pushes us to take relationships further.
There are family parties. Do you want to invite your new lesbian girlfriend? Are you even out to your family? Will your family accept her? Is your family too nosey? Do they push to see a relationship become committed or push in the opposite direction?
Have you been dating long enough to buy a present? How much do you spend?
There are office parties going on, too. Are you out at work? Do you bring your lesbian girlfriend as your date? Is that acceptable at work?
Do you travel to see family for the holidays? Do you invite the woman you are dating or not? Who pays for that travel? Where will you stay?
“If your relationship is rocky, this
may be the time to make a decision.”
How do you answer them?
What all of those questions create is the perfect storm for you or your girlfriend to decide that you are ready to take the relationship deeper or it’s time to get out.
What also can happen is your comfort level with your lesbian lifestyle and your family’s expectations can collide. The fallout is your relationship ends.
It’s such an odd thing to realize more relationships break up over the holidays than any other time of the year. We expect and want this time of the year to be about love, expressing our commitments to others and spending time with the person we care about the most.
What’s really happening is couples break up at epic levels and singles wander around feeling more lonely than ever, wishing they were part of a couple.
If your relationship is new, go slowly and gently into the holidays. Turn down the thermostat on expectations – everything from gift giving to deciding you won’t make the holidays the end-all, be-all that breaks up a relationship that might have real potential.
If your relationship is on rocky ground, this may be the time to look deeper and make a decision to move on.
The bad news is it’s the season for breaking up. The good news is that means lots of new faces on dating sites starting Jan. 1.
Graph source: informationisbeautiful.net. Photo source: tqn.com.