Make It A Lesbian Holiday

Lesbian Dating

Make it a Lesbian Holiday!

Mary Gorham Malia

Written by: Mary Gorham Malia

Mary Gorham Malia

Mary G. Malia, founder of Gay Girl Dating Coach, is a certified singles coach, strategic intervention coach and author of the book "The Gay Girl’s Guide to Avoid the 14 Dating Traps." She’s known as the leading resource and expert for lesbians who want to move past the barriers to finding love and lasting relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Don’t you agree? Some of you are already on this bandwagon and you’ve been riding it for years. But many women are just figuring out you can do something different for the holidays, like create your own traditions!

Maybe you grew up in a family that had rules for the holidays. Maybe those rules were given to you by your parents or grandparents.

The holidays were spent honoring religious traditions, food traditions, family time traditions, decorating traditions, who visited who traditions, TV show traditions, sports traditions and on and on ad nauseum.

Then you entered your adult years. Perhaps like me, you married and entered into many years of pleasing the in-laws and other family out-laws by giving in to their traditions. Or perhaps you dragged your spouse into your family traditions.

Now it’s not always something we get dragged into. I’ll admit sometimes those traditions are deeply meaningful and create strong ties and connections among the people attending.

But let’s admit it, sometimes the whole heterosexual holiday hoopla gets to be a bit much. Don’t you want to bring some lesbian love and laughter into the mix or even take over the planning for the holidays?

So how’s a gay girl gonna make that happen? Well here are a few suggestions:

1. Go in shooting, guns and pistols blazing.

Have your way with the rest of the family. Declare the Lesbian Holiday Season has begun, and bring in the girls, women, dykes, butches and femmes and have a Christmas Carol sing-along!

2. Family, then friends.

Perhaps give your family some love by showing up for a short visit, and then head over to the lesbian holiday celebration at a friend’s house.

Celebrate with women-only music, T-shirt- or baseball cap-only presents and of course a potluck! A potluck is the symbol of lesbian hospitality all over the world! Make it part of your lesbian holiday celebration!


“The only person you need permission

from to live your life fully is YOU!”

3. Create your own version of a Norman Rockwell picture.

For years, I’ve gathered all the single lesbians I could find and invited them to Chinese Buffet and a Christmas release movie. I have to say the first time I went to the movies for Christmas, I was shocked at how many people were there. It was sold out!

Damn. I hadn’t realized how many people go to the movies as an excuse to get out of the holiday celebrations and away from family.

Perhaps your lesbian celebration is getting a bunch of friends to rent a condo or a cottage in the mountains or on the coast. You all spend a few days talking about what happened in 2012 and what your goals are for 2013.

You create your own special holiday ritual – perhaps it’s a breakfast of cinnamon rolls, French press coffee and opening presents. Whatever works for you and your lesbian holiday friends.

Maybe it’s a lesbian New Year’s celebration and you welcome in the New Year with a fire on the beach, a drum circle and dancing.

The whole point of this article is to help you figure out that the only person you need permission from to live your life fully is YOU!

Other people may not like your choices or decisions, but it is your life. Be kind, but be honest to yourself first and then others.

Break the box of holiday traditions wide open and create something new and life-giving for you.

Happy Lesbian Holidays!

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