My Girlfriend Has Lost Interest In Me

Men's Dating

My Girlfriend Has Lost Interest In Me

David Wygant

Written by: David Wygant

David Wygant

David Wygant is an internationally-renowned dating and relationship coach, author and speaker. To find out more about David and all of his dating and relationship-building products, visit

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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So you’re in a relationship and your girlfriend is not the same loving, receptive woman she was when you first started hanging out?

What’s a man to do?

First off, I’ve got to tell you:

It’s most likely your fault

You see, when a woman pulls back and is no longer receptive, it means her needs are not being met. It goes both ways. When you’re in a relationship and you pull back and stop giving love, it’s because your needs are not being met.

So your girlfriend who is no longer having her needs met is now pulling back?

She’s probably tried to have a conversation with you. Think about your relationship. A girlfriend just doesn’t pull back for no reason.

Has she told you things like:

  • “We never seem to do things together anymore.”
  • “You’re not as attentive as you used to be.”
  • “You don’t seem so excited to see me.”

Of course, being a man, our natural instincts is to deny everything and try to make them feel good.

But I guarantee if she’s not as receptive, not as loving and not as adoring as she used to be, it’s because she tried to be heard and you didn’t hear her.

I want you to think about the times you shut her down or the times she tried talking to you and you tuned her out. Then I want you to start acting upon what her needs, wants and desires were at that time.

If you’re like a lot of guys and you forgot, you can bring it up very easily.

You can use her terminology. You can look at her and say “Hey, babe. I feel like we’re not connecting like we used to. I’d like to know what I can do so we can connect the way we used to.”

Let her know you’re open to working on the relationship

You need to let her know you want to hear what her needs are, so you can help satisfy them.

It’s very mature to do that, and it’s also a smart move on your part.

By doing this, you’re showing her that you want to work on the relationship. In a way, she will feel like she’s being heard. She may not feel this at the exact time she wanted, but she will love it when a man wants to work on the relationship.

By you satisfying whatever needs she has or what she feels like is lacking in the relationship, it is in turn going to open her up to being that amazing, loving girl she once was.

You’ll see her blossom in front of you. She’ll start to do the things that you need, want and desire all over again. Somebody has to lead, and in a relationship, the man needs to be the leader. The man needs to be the one who takes initiative.

When you take initiative, watch what happens. You’ll watch your girlfriend become loving and amazing all over again — just like you remembered her!

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