Online Dating: The Second Message When the First Fails

A friend asked me what I thought was a strange question. He wanted to know if he could send a second message to a woman online if she didn’t respond to his first.

The answer is of course. Second messages can be extremely effective.

First, you must realize most of your messages are not going to be answered. If one out of 10 messages gets an answer, you are doing OK.

Plenty of women on dating sites may be long gone, married or even dead. And plenty of women with hot pictures get overloaded with messages and simply cannot read, never mind answer, them all.

Many women will look at your profile before they decide whether to read your message or not, and if they don’t read your message, they are certainly not going to reply.

If you have a great profile, you will absolutely get more replies. However, if you do not get a reply, you can certainly send another message if you like. Do not waste time analyzing why your message failed. Just send another.

There are three types of follow-ups I like to send, all of which have worked wonders for me. All three are simple as well.

I’m not sure where I heard of this one first, but I find it works particularly well with younger women.

Just give 10 reasons, starting from number 10 and counting down to number one, with each reason getting funnier or sillier than the previous one.

Even if she finds just a couple of reasons funny, there is a good chance she’ll respond. Yes, some of the answers may be stupid, but that’s OK.

“I sometimes send exactly the

same message as the first one.”

With this message, you make it clear this is your second message and you are giving her another chance to reply, “Because we are all overloaded.”

Hey, we are all overloaded and chances are if she sees your message, she’ll be more likely to reply.

I will sometimes send exactly the same message as the first one. This is easy, as it saves time.

It’s especially good if you know she hasn’t read your first message or looked at your profile, as you can tell on many dating sites.

Sometimes even when that isn’t true, I’ll resend my first message again simply because it works often enough to make it worth doing.

Time that duplicate message well. I like to resend it between 5 p.m. and 9 p.m. Sundays or after dinner Monday, Tuesday or Wednesday night when she is more likely to have time to be reading messages.

If the second message gets a no reply? Well, I give up for at least a couple of months. There are plenty of other women dying to meet me and you both online and offline!