Men's Dating

What is She Thinking?

Randy Mitchell

Written by: Randy Mitchell

Randy Mitchell

Randy Mitchell is a blogger on lifestyle, writing and relationship topics and is a published author of inspirational romance. His first novel "Sons In The Clouds" is available on Amazon. To find out more about Randy, visit

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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If I were fully able to answer that question every time a man has sat and wondered, I’d be a multibillionaire and herded through the streets as the greatest mind since Sir Isaac Newton.

It’s a topic men have spent their lifetimes trying to figure out. In the world of dating, this is something the male species should spend lots of time analyzing and evaluating in order to become successful.

To be able to read and accommodate your lady’s thought processes is the golden key to relationship longevity.

Women are extremely complex.

But they are vibrant and beautiful creatures. It does take lots of practice, patience and thought to figure them out.

And only after tons of dates and experiencing you and your buddies falling on their faces from repeated heartache, bullet wounds, rejection and eventual success do you start to scratch the surface.

Women are much more multidimensional and emotional than we are.

They always think with their heads and don’t take decisions lightly. They generally evaluate relationship scenarios with greater thought and contemplation before taking steps further.

Whereas we, more often than not, are focused on what our little heads are driving us to do.

There’s a huge difference, but learning to understand some basic psychology related to verbal and nonverbal mannerisms can help get you on the right path.

All men have one thing in mind when sitting down to dinner with the object of their affections – another dinner or at least a sign from her that she likes what she sees and hears.

The best way to accomplish this is:

Take note of her reactions as you speak.

Does she hold her gaze while you’re talking, or is she easily distracted by the athletic-looking dude in the corner? A woman’s eyes can tell you everything.

Is she nodding and smiling, inviting you to delve deeper into your subject? How about her body language? Are her shoulders relaxed? Does she occasionally tousle her hair while you’re pouring her another glass of wine?

Does she touch you, if only for a moment on the shoulder or hand? As you’re sitting across from her, is her posture slumped back or leaning closer and closer?

I can’t complete this paragraph without touching on cell phone etiquette. While you’re with her, is her phone tucked away, or does she leave it out, hoping for or even taking a call?

When you text her after dinner and the days following, does she respond fairly quickly or leave you hanging for days before reciprocating?

“The look in her eyes

will always tell the tale.”

How about her verbal communication?

When a woman’s interested

, her words toward you will be enticing, inquiring, caring and even flirtatious. If this is your first date, she’ll ask about your hopes, goals, interests and family.

Later on, the conversations will use the words “us” and “we” instead of “you” and “her.” Everything will start to merge and flow together as you talk more and more.

But if chatting on the phone or in person develops into something dull, short and boring on her part, you better start listening more and stepping up your game all together.

The biggest way to tell what a woman is thinking: Listen!

Learn to listen to your partner. If you’re truly interested in a woman, her every like, dislike, want and need she expresses will be permanently placed inside your memory banks.

You’ll get to where you can read her and remember the smallest details of conversations from weeks ago. You’ll also know when she’s angry, sad or stressed by the tone in her voice and speed of her steps.

Most of all, the look in her eyes will always tell the tale.

If you’re in a relationship and it’s constantly developing and building into something great, then you’ve tapped into your lady’s heart and are synced with her on the most important level — communication.

If not, more listening, watching and studying may be in order. You are not a mindreader. No one is. So sometimes the best way to figure out what she’s thinking is to ask her.

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