Once relegated into the shadows and pushed out of view, the past few years have seen a concerted push towards acceptance of the gay and lesbian community. While this is happy news, progress is slow and years of intolerance have left many feeling like they have to keep their dating lives under wraps.
If waiting around the produce section for another pretty lesbian to come along and help you thump a melon isn’t your idea of a day well spent, here are a few tips to accelerate your love life while keeping your dignity intact.
1. Go back to school.
College campuses are a natural coalescing of like-minded individuals. Whether you’re looking for a Pokémon opponent, a fellow LARPing enthusiast or someone in the LGBTQ community, an academic setting is often a more accepting backdrop to gather in.
Easy enough for the college aged but for those of us who have traded in textbooks and keggers for 9-to-5 jobs and the carpool lane, a trip back to a college campus for dating opportunities could feel a little inappropriate.
Fear not, would-be Nabokov’s, and remember that university campuses are populated not only by students but also professors (obviously), guest lecturers and supported by sympathetic members of the community who have taken an interest in nurturing and supporting young people establishing their sexuality.
Ditch your assumptions of dorm rooms, because colleges are a great place to meet other gay women in a comfortable environment.
“Letting people know what you’re looking
for is the best way the open yourself up to people.”
2. Know your town.
Being gay can mean limiting your dating options to places you know are accepting. If you’ve recently moved or aren’t normally social, this can be daunting.
Get to know your city. Find areas you feel comfortable in and places with like-minded clientele.
If you’re introverted and the prospect of walking into a new bar or bookstore is nerve-racking, use the Internet to scope things out. Read Yelp reviews or check Facebook chatter to get a feel for a place.
Being in a comfortable environment will make you feel more confident in approaching women for dating prospects or even just a new pal.
3. Be out.
Being honest with your friends and family about your sexuality is a uniquely daunting task. When and how you come out to them is a deeply personal decision and one that shouldn’t be taken lightly.
Coming out is hard, but living in the open is the best way to allow love to come into your life.
Being gay sometimes means facing adversity with even the most basic of relationships, but the tides are slowly turning. Letting people know who you are and what you’re looking for is the best way the open yourself up to people who are looking for the same thing. Be open on your own terms.