Why Do Women See Men As Fixer Uppers

Men's Dating

Why Do Women See Men as Fixer-Uppers?

Jessie Kay

Written by: Jessie Kay

Jessie Kay

I have been a director/expert matchmaker for more than 18 wonderful years. My dating service ventures began with Great Expectations, the largest and oldest dating service in the nation. I went on to create The Real Matchmaker because I felt a commitment to serve clients beyond the typical matchmaking. I believed at the start, as I do today, that helping others find love is my calling and my passion.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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As an expert matchmaker, I really had to think long and hard about this question.
Are women all really looking for the perfect man? After all, we are ransacked daily with the likes of Hollyhunks like George Clooney, Brad Pitt and David Beckman.

Most men feel like they don’t have a chance.

Women are taught to look for a man with good character and determined work ethics.
It’s not so much about changing your chivalrous personality for us. It may be more about shaping you into the image of our ideal man.
The good news is most women have a habit of always seeing the good or the potential in men. We see ruff spots on the surface and we want to sand them off, or at least sand them down so the imperfections don’t show as much.
It’s always important for women and men to understand that compromising and being somewhat flexible in a relationship is key.
Men should take it as a compliment that women want to bring out the best version of them. That means she cares.
“Regardless of the stage of your
relationship, always be open-minded.”

Every relationship is different.

It’s up to you to determine the difference in a woman’s intentions.
Is she trying to change who you are fundamentally at your core versus her wanting to encourage you to live up to your fullest potential?
I often share with my male clients that this may be in some ways your gal just testing you and setting up her relationship expectations.
Whether or not your gal can change you really depends on how severe and stringent the changes are. It’s a fact that we all require a little “makeover maintenance” from time to time.
I know empathy and change in guys is in short supply, so I challenge you!

What’s the worst that could happen?

If it’s just changing your hair, cutting your nails, upgrading your wardrobe, trimming  the unibrow, romancing her or updating your cologne, you’ll be perceived as an exceptionally handsome guy.
Take note, guys. Asking for changes goes both ways in a relationship. Here’s your chance to get something you want from her in return.
It’s important that you make your negotiation an approach to finding a middle ground of love.
Agree to make some changes and ask her to give you something in return: more lingerie nights, dinner and sports nights, cultivating your hobbies, golfing lessons, etc.
By doing this, you are showing her your keen sense to please her. Don’t be surprised when she enthusiastically takes you up on lingerie night.
Regardless of the stage of your relationship, always be open-minded, giving of self, willing to change, full of laughter and looking to complete the puzzle of love (which can be a 20,000 piece puzzle, LOL).
Always in love with love,
“Jessie Kay” Kravik

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