Men's Dating

17 Things That Look Like Penises (But Aren’t)

Hayley Matthews

Considering how often you see actual penises, it’s pretty surprising at how many things look like penises that aren’t. Check out these 17 phallic finds!

17. See Spot Go

This dog probably has really good luck with the ladies.

16. Welcome Home

Nothing like looking through a giant penis every day.

15. Tallest Tower

That must’ve required one hell of a job!

14. Potato-rection

There would be a sick satisfaction with cooking and eating it.

13. Fuzzy Wuzzy

Who knew something phallic could be so adorable?

12. Buzz Buzz

He can’t wait to get inside your mouth.

11. Minnie Mouse

We’d heard about these hidden Disney images…

10. Boner Bridge

When the sun comes, so do they.

9. Sounds Delicious

Can we just get a piece of the chef?

8. Going Up

Imagine it dangling over your head!

7. Subway System

It’ll take you for a ride, alright.

6. Fountain Head

Looks like a man-made structure to us!

5. Hard Formation

Wouldn’t that be fun to climb on to?

4. Messing Around

She had to know what she was doing, right?

3. Naughty Santa

Not even Christmas chocolate is safe.

2. Pillow Willie

Perfect for resting your head on!

1. Oh, Herman

We’d like a taste of that sausage!

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About The Author

As the editor-in-chief of, I oversee content strategy, social media engagement, and media opportunities. When I'm not writing about cheese or my 20-year love affair with Leonardo DiCaprio, I'm listening to The Beatles, watching Harry Potter reruns (I'm a proud Slytherin!), or drinking IPAs.