Bungee jumping? No problem. Sky diving? Piece of cake. Committing the rest of your adult life to being with and being loyal to one woman? Now that is scary!
This is true for many men. We want that commitment (at least on some level), and yet we are terrified of that commitment.
What can we do? Here are three tips that could “tip” the scale and help you overcome your fear of commitment.
1. Accept the truth that there is no real success without risk.
Financially, risk takers make the most money. The same is true in our relationships.
The only way to have the joys and benefits of a gratifying relationship is to risk commitment. Just like in any other area of your life, the more you put into something, the more you get out of it.
If you immerse yourself in a sport, craft or musical instrument (i.e. make a commitment to it), you get increasingly skilled. As your skill increases, so does your pleasure.
In your relationship, if you commit, you do not run away from the inevitable relationship problems and you get better at solving them.
As you get better at solving them, your chance for interpersonal rapture goes way up.
There is no guarantee your relationship will be wonderful forever.
However, if you commit to it, that is your best chance to not hold back, to be the best you can be and bring the best out of your partner.
“Just like any potentially rewarding
endeavor, there are sacrifices to make.”
2. Be willing to learn how to be a successful partner.
Know that you have far greater potential than your parents and other ancestors to have a phenomenal relationship.
There are experts to help you and there is good information in books and on the Internet. With our newer understandings of what makes couples thrive, you can do this.
Don’t let your parents’ relationship or your past relationship failures prevent you from going for it.
Commitment allows you to evolve as a person and learn how to experience greater love and pleasure than your ancestors ever did in their intimate relationships.
3. See the benefits of commitment.
Just like any potentially rewarding endeavor, there are sacrifices to make and “prices” to pay.
Here are some potential benefits of commitment you can focus on. Commitment allows you to:
- Develop an interpersonal connection where you can feel deeply loved
- Develop a relationship atmosphere where you are free to expose your flaws and still be accepted
- Experience consistent, safe and potentially adventurous sex
- Experience lifelong companionship
- Be part of an economic, child-rearing team
- Have a sense of purpose and contentment
Readers, in what ways do you overcome a fear of commitment? Tell us your stories.
Photo source: tamsonweston.com.