Do you want to have a dating life that goes with the lifestyle you desire? This is an interesting question.
There are guys who date effortlessly within the lifestyle they have created for themselves.
Then there are guys who go to bars, clubs or certain places to meet women whether this place fits into their lifestyle or not.
If you’re looking to kill two birds with one stone, then you will want to go the route of defining your lifestyle and then working your dating life around that.
It makes you more centered in your goals of what you want to be and allows you to always be furthering yourself on a personal level as well. And that is what life is all about, right?
Let’s meet Guy #1.
He is very determined and ready to further his dating life. He decides he will take it head on and spend two to three nights a week frequenting local bars and cafes to meet the woman of his dreams.
Guy #1 spends the next three months meeting women at these venues. However, this is not really his thing. He feels out of place at these bars and cafes, but this is where he believes there is a high amount of women.
After three months of attempting to meet women and spending hours and hours thinking about it and doing it, he ends up feeling empty.
Guy #1 focused all of his energy on going to places where he felt out of place. He neglected his goals and friends and gave up a major portion of his time to something that gave him little to no results.
He did get some valuable experience, but now he has to spend his time building up the relationships he neglected. He feels like he is at ground zero all over again.
“The lifestyle you are living will dictate
what kind of people come into your life.”
Guy #2 is different.
He spends his time exploring places that fascinate him and that he enjoys. Meeting his significant other is a priority that is below his other priorities of hobbies, goals and self-betterment.
He believes he will meet somebody eventually and that he doesn’t have to worry about when that time will come. He knows someone will fit in his life as long as he is pursuing his own life.
Guy #2 frequents his favorite coffee shops and local hangouts that please him. He never goes out with the intention of meeting anyone.
However, he ends up meeting more women than Guy #1 and women who share common interests with him since they are at the same places he enjoys.
Guy #2 dates women who are on the same page with him and winds up having more satisfying relationships.
There is a misconception that putting more energy into meeting your significant other will get you more results. This is true to an extent.
However, in the end, you have to be a complete person and further your life. Only then can you let someone come into that life.
If you are going places you are not exactly where you like to be, then you will probably find people who aren’t on the same page as you because they will match that place.
Focus on who you are first.
Your identity is key. Here are some major points to focus on before thinking about looking for a significant other:
- Where do I like to hang out?
- What exactly are my hobbies and interests, and how can I include others in them?
- What do I see my ideal self as?
- What kind of people would I like to surround me?
- How do I feel about my current choice of lifestyle?
Remember the lifestyle you are living will dictate what kind of people come into your life. That is why it is vital to design a lifestyle around yourself rather than around dating and meeting people.
If you put yourself in the backseat and dating in the driver seat, you will end up empty in the long run because dating will come and go.
Yourself never leaves. Yourself is someone you will need to take care of for your entire life. Build your lifestyle around yourself.
Photo source: emperumclub.com