How do I Ask My Girlfriend to Stop Talking About Her Ex?

Nick Slade

Written by: Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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If you’re asking the question, that means you’ve already waited too long. It bothers you, so you have to let her know before it causes tension or irreparable damage in the budding relationship. If it’s bad for you, then it’s bad for the relationship, which means it’s not in her best interest to let it continue either.

There are a lot of good ways to help her get the idea. The key is to make the message fun, light or humorous. A friend of mine used to plant a big kiss on his girl’s lips whenever she mentioned her ex. If you have a carrot stick or tortilla chip, stuff it gently in her mouth with a huge smile on your face.

You might have to spell it out for her if she doesn’t pick up on your cues. Tell her it just makes you a little uncomfortable being reminded that she hasn’t always been your girl, and it’s kind of a buzz kill right now. Let her know you are willing to sit down and take a whole day to talk about her history and yours, and you both can clear up any unresolved issues you might have. It’s not a matter of jealousy. It’s just that this is the time for a fresh start and a new beginning.

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