Men's Dating

How to Approach a Woman

Julie Ferman

Written by: Julie Ferman

Julie Ferman

Julie Ferman is a professional matchmaker a seasoned dating coach, media personality, professional speaker, singles events producer and a consultant to the matchmaking and dating industry. Single men and women are invited to register privately, for free with Julie here, to be eligible for personal matchmaking referrals: . Julie's mission is to dignify and streamline the love search process for selective, relationship-minded professionals. Julie provides a full menu of dating coaching, personal matchmaking services and professional referrals to single men and women throughout the U.S., Canada and worldwide. Julie met her husband of 23 years through a proactive love search of her own and she has spent every day since helping singles make that all-important initial connection with the right people and to master the art of dating. With more than 1,100 marriages to her credit, she knows the love business and is eager to share her secrets. Julie Ferman was awarded by iDate and Online Personal Watch the "Best Matchmaker" award in 2010, 2011, 2012 and 2013. We’ve seen Julie on Dr. Phil, Good Morning America, and The Today Show.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

You’re thinking, “Man, she’s cute. Is she looking at me?” And she’s over there thinking, “I want to meet that guy. How can I? Should I walk up to him? I know I shouldn’t, but I hear it’s OK to signal him with a look and a smile. Why isn’t he coming over to me? He’s probably married. Maybe I’m not his type. He’s probably gay. Do I have spinach in my teeth?”

Really, we girls have that kind of silly internal dialogue rolling around in our minds when we’re hoping to connect with a guy we find appealing.

What we really need is your help.

Guys, if you sense the cute girl at the coffee shop or at the party is signaling you (consciously or not), and if you find yourself attracted to her and interested in her, this is your cue to be the guy and initiate.

Make a connection – she’s giving you the green light.

Even today’s modern-day female who will want and expect equality in the workplace, but when it comes to dating and relationships, she still wants to be the girl.

In fact, she needs to be the girl.

Today’s modern-day matchmakers and dating coaches and moms everywhere are instructing our daughters to NOT chase guys, but rather SIGNAL them with a smile or with eye contact so the guy can indeed be the guy and pursue her.


“Pounce on these opportunities to

initiate conversation and connection.”

Good girls don’t chase, shouldn’t chase, won’t chase you.

This philosophy and these signaling tactics work beautifully, but only if the guys step up to the plate to initiate.

Otherwise, nothing happens, and what’s missed is an opportunity for connection, for possibility, for relationship and for love to happen for both of you.

Get good at. Get better at. Say hello. Your love life depends on it, especially if you like the idea of being The Guy, The Leader in your future relationship.

If you want to be partnered with a feminine woman who will appreciate having a masculine guy in her life, you simply must practice the art of initiating and saying hello.

What to do? What to say?

Approach her directly and cross the crowded room to talk with her (we girls dream and fantasize about our prince doing just this, truly), and what you say is not nearly as important as you might think.

Make a comment, offer a compliment, ask a question – not in pickup-artist style, but in good-guy style, direct and confident.

Something as simple as, “Hi, I’m John. Nice to see you here.”

There are so many things you can say to her – “How’s your day going?” “What brings you here today?” “You are adorable. I have to say hi – I’m John, who are you?”

As girls, we don’t want to have to initiate, as it throws off the male/female balance.

Her eye contact and her smile are her cues to you, her green light, her invitation for you to initiate contact with her.

She needs for you to close the deal.

After you’ve had a chance to talk to each other, if you like her and would love to see her again, ask her if you can call her to invite her out for a drink or for coffee.

Give her your card or your phone number and ask for hers. Call her within 24 hours with a confident, strong invitation.

At any age, a girl wants to be with a guy she can respect, look up to and admire, the guy she can envision being her provider/protector.

Practice being that guy from the get-go, and pounce on these opportunities to initiate conversation and connection, especially when she’s giving you the green light.

How do you feel confident when approaching women?

Photo source:

Advertiser Disclosure is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.