Reader Question:
I am a senior in college and I have a crush on a girl I have known since freshman year. My girlfriend and I broke up during my junior year. Recently I have been hanging out with my crush a lot more but mostly in group situations when she is with her friends. She is extremely difficult to “read.” I can’t tell if she likes me as more than a friend.
What do I do?
-Ryan (New Hampshire)
Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:
Dear Ryan,
You’ll never know unless you do something. But before you do anything, let me ask you this: Is she really that difficult to read, or are you most attracted to women who are emotionally avoidant?
If it is the latter, then she may not be a good relationship partner because it will be difficult to grow an emotionally intimate bond.
So here are all your choices:
1. Keep her as a great friend.
2. Ask her on a date and risk her decline, which could potentially put an awkward damper on the friendship.
3. Ask her on a date and have her say yes and remain “extremely difficult to read.”
My instinct is a person who has been hard to read for three years doesn’t suddenly open up.
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