I Can’t Tell if She Likes Me. What Do I Do

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I am a senior in college and I have a crush on a girl I have known since freshman year. My girlfriend and I broke up during my junior year. Recently I have been hanging out with my crush a lot more but mostly in group situations when she is with her friends. She is extremely difficult to “read.” I can’t tell if she likes me as more than a friend.

What do I do?

-Ryan (New Hampshire)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Ryan,

You’ll never know unless you do something. But before you do anything, let me ask you this: Is she really that difficult to read, or are you most attracted to women who are emotionally avoidant?

If it is the latter, then she may not be a good relationship partner because it will be difficult to grow an emotionally intimate bond.

So here are all your choices:

1. Keep her as a great friend.  

2. Ask her on a date and risk her decline, which could potentially put an awkward damper on the friendship.

3. Ask her on a date and have her say yes and remain “extremely difficult to read.”

My instinct is a person who has been hard to read for three years doesn’t suddenly open up.

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