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Dr. Wendy Walsh
I am a senior in college and I have a crush on a girl I have known since freshman year. My girlfriend and I broke up during my junior year. Recently I have been hanging out with my crush a lot more but mostly in group situations when she is with her friends. She is extremely difficult to “read.” I can’t tell if she likes me as more than a friend.
What do I do?
-Ryan (New Hampshire)
You’ll never know unless you do something. But before you do anything, let me ask you this: Is she really that difficult to read, or are you most attracted to women who are emotionally avoidant?
If it is the latter, then she may not be a good relationship partner because it will be difficult to grow an emotionally intimate bond.
So here are all your choices:
1. Keep her as a great friend.
2. Ask her on a date and risk her decline, which could potentially put an awkward damper on the friendship.
3. Ask her on a date and have her say yes and remain “extremely difficult to read.”
My instinct is a person who has been hard to read for three years doesn’t suddenly open up.
No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.