Reader Question:
Since last year, I noticed this girl. I didn’t have the guts to make a move, and it’s been about four months since she got along with this other guy. From my point of view, it’s not that serious. I finally made a move and broke the ice when she was talking with my friends. I went over and offered them gummy bears, which by the way is her favorite snack according to her FB page, but she and her friend refused to take one.
Is there any chance for me to somehow win her back?
-Jim (Turkey)
Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:
Win her back? You never had her. You approached her like a stalking stranger and offered her candy. She was taught as a child to run from men like that. And you did it while she had her girl pack protecting her.
Dude, you gotta divide and conquer. Being socially intelligent means getting to know people she knows first. Then get yourself invited to some place where she will be – a group activity or social event where there will be less pressure. Then when she’s alone, strike up a conversation.
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