I Think She is with Someone Else. Do You Think My Gut Feelings Are True?

Dr. Wendy Walsh
Dr. Wendy Walsh Updated:
Discuss This! Discuss This!

Reader Question:

We live 180 “Chicago” miles away from each other. We’ve been seeing each other for seven years. We were supposed to get married, but then I lost my job and had to move to Chicago to work.

I have a gut feeling she is with someone else. She is divorced, but my sisters tell me she is still married. I looked on a website that tells you the end date of a divorce. Mine has it but hers does not.

Do you think my gut feelings are true?

-John (Illinois)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear John,

Really? You’ve invested seven years in someone you aren’t even sure is single? And now you don’t trust her?

I’m wondering what you guys do talk about. Perhaps just the schedule and the weather?

Well, my dear John, there are some big topics you clearly haven’t been talking about and I suggest you bring them up. That’s a sure way to confirm your gut feeling.

But the real question you are asking me is this: How do I keep her with the distance and the money problems? Am I losing her to another guy?

Remember, relationships are supposed to be an exchange of care. Is that exchange happening? And why the fear of commitment? Which one of you doesn’t want to get married?

If you can honestly answer these questions, you’ll know what your gut is telling you.

No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.