I Think She Likes a Friend of Mine. What Should I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh
Dr. Wendy Walsh Updated:
Discuss This! Discuss This!
Advertiser Disclosure

Reader Question:

I have known this girl for a year or two now and I have really started to like the person she is. The bad part is there is someone else, just like there always is, and I believe this person she likes is a friend of mine. They are always texting each other and hang out sometimes, but it is never one on one.

He says he doesn’t like her, but everyone else that knows him and me thinks he does. I don’t want to get in the way of them finding something, but I feel I will always regret it if I never go for her.

What should I do?

-Rob (California)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Rob,

You’re right. He’s into her. So are you. If you are up for a little male-to-male competition, then by all means, throw your hat in the ring.

But the more important question is: What do each of you want from this young lady?

If either of you is only in it for the sexual score, then I would suggest the other should hang in the back ground and pick up the emotional pieces when her heart gets broken.

But if you’re both looking for a long-term girlfriend, the game becomes one of thinking about what she wants.

Is she ready for a boyfriend? Are you ready to court her (in a cool guy I-don’t-really-need-you kind of way) and lose the friendship with your male friend?

Once you throw down the gauntlet, your friend will become your opponent. Ask yourself where you want to be – with her and with him – in three years and you’ll know what to do.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

Advertiser Disclosure

DatingAdvice.com is a free online resource that offers valuable content and comparison services to users. To keep this resource 100% free, we receive compensation from many of the offers listed on the site. Along with key review factors, this compensation may impact how and where products appear across the site (including, for example, the order in which they appear). DatingAdvice.com does not include the entire universe of available offers. Editorial opinions expressed on the site are strictly our own and are not provided, endorsed, or approved by advertisers.

Our Editorial Review Policy

Our site is committed to publishing independent, accurate content guided by strict editorial guidelines. Before articles and reviews are published on our site, they undergo a thorough review process performed by a team of independent editors and subject-matter experts to ensure the content’s accuracy, timeliness, and impartiality. Our editorial team is separate and independent of our site’s advertisers, and the opinions they express on our site are their own. To read more about our team members and their editorial backgrounds, please visit our site’s About page.