I Think She Likes a Friend of Mine. What Should I Do?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I have known this girl for a year or two now and I have really started to like the person she is. The bad part is there is someone else, just like there always is, and I believe this person she likes is a friend of mine. They are always texting each other and hang out sometimes, but it is never one on one.

He says he doesn’t like her, but everyone else that knows him and me thinks he does. I don’t want to get in the way of them finding something, but I feel I will always regret it if I never go for her.

What should I do?

-Rob (California)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Rob,

You’re right. He’s into her. So are you. If you are up for a little male-to-male competition, then by all means, throw your hat in the ring.

But the more important question is: What do each of you want from this young lady?

If either of you is only in it for the sexual score, then I would suggest the other should hang in the back ground and pick up the emotional pieces when her heart gets broken.

But if you’re both looking for a long-term girlfriend, the game becomes one of thinking about what she wants.

Is she ready for a boyfriend? Are you ready to court her (in a cool guy I-don’t-really-need-you kind of way) and lose the friendship with your male friend?

Once you throw down the gauntlet, your friend will become your opponent. Ask yourself where you want to be – with her and with him – in three years and you’ll know what to do.

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