Reader Question:
I have known this girl for a year or two now and I have really started to like the person she is. The bad part is there is someone else, just like there always is, and I believe this person she likes is a friend of mine. They are always texting each other and hang out sometimes, but it is never one on one.
He says he doesn’t like her, but everyone else that knows him and me thinks he does. I don’t want to get in the way of them finding something, but I feel I will always regret it if I never go for her.
What should I do?
-Rob (California)
Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:
Dear Rob,
You’re right. He’s into her. So are you. If you are up for a little male-to-male competition, then by all means, throw your hat in the ring.
But the more important question is: What do each of you want from this young lady?
If either of you is only in it for the sexual score, then I would suggest the other should hang in the back ground and pick up the emotional pieces when her heart gets broken.
But if you’re both looking for a long-term girlfriend, the game becomes one of thinking about what she wants.
Is she ready for a boyfriend? Are you ready to court her (in a cool guy I-don’t-really-need-you kind of way) and lose the friendship with your male friend?
Once you throw down the gauntlet, your friend will become your opponent. Ask yourself where you want to be – with her and with him – in three years and you’ll know what to do.
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