I Want to Convince Her to Stay. How Do I Handle It?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh is the author of "The 30-Day Love Detox"" (April 2013).

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

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Reader Question:

I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for the last three months with an amazing girl who I care a lot about (I’m away at school). Everything was going great until she brought down the hammer saying she wants to break it off. Her reason was she feels she isn’t ready or mature enough yet and that we rushed into this relationship. I respect how she is feeling but I don’t feel it’s fair to call it quits after our first rough patch/problem. I really want to convince her to stay with it.

Any ideas on how to handle it?

-Lukas (Wisconsin)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Oh Lukas, oh Lukas, oh Lukas. Of course you want her to change her mind. You’ve just spent three months being with (uh, actually, mostly thinking about) Miss Amazing. There seems no reason to stop this long-distance pining. Who knows where it could lead?

I mean, if you just focus your mind long enough on her lying in her distant dorm room, you can probably imagine any happy ending. But that’s the problem, Mr. Amazing. This is your movie, not hers.

In fact, in the brief term of this relationship, while you’ve been making her the star, I’ll bet she’s only made a few cameos in your life. And now you’re dealing with a diva with the nerve to think she can run your set. Psychological science says this relationship was mostly your fascination with your own projections (funny how it rhymes with projector).

How can you convince her to stay in your show? Sorry to let you down, Spielberg, but you can’t. Divas walk.

Next time, find a Miss-Mostly-Amazing who breaths near you and even passes real human gas in that air space. Then open your eyes and your heart. And turn off that projector.

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