I Want to Convince Her to Stay. How Do I Handle It?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I’ve been in a long-distance relationship for the last three months with an amazing girl who I care a lot about (I’m away at school). Everything was going great until she brought down the hammer saying she wants to break it off. Her reason was she feels she isn’t ready or mature enough yet and that we rushed into this relationship. I respect how she is feeling but I don’t feel it’s fair to call it quits after our first rough patch/problem. I really want to convince her to stay with it.

Any ideas on how to handle it?

-Lukas (Wisconsin)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Oh Lukas, oh Lukas, oh Lukas. Of course you want her to change her mind. You’ve just spent three months being with (uh, actually, mostly thinking about) Miss Amazing. There seems no reason to stop this long-distance pining. Who knows where it could lead?

I mean, if you just focus your mind long enough on her lying in her distant dorm room, you can probably imagine any happy ending. But that’s the problem, Mr. Amazing. This is your movie, not hers.

In fact, in the brief term of this relationship, while you’ve been making her the star, I’ll bet she’s only made a few cameos in your life. And now you’re dealing with a diva with the nerve to think she can run your set. Psychological science says this relationship was mostly your fascination with your own projections (funny how it rhymes with projector).

How can you convince her to stay in your show? Sorry to let you down, Spielberg, but you can’t. Divas walk.

Next time, find a Miss-Mostly-Amazing who breaths near you and even passes real human gas in that air space. Then open your eyes and your heart. And turn off that projector.

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