If I Have a Disability, How Do I Approach This in Online Dating?

Nick Slade

Written by: Nick Slade

Nick Slade

Nick spent 20 years in the dating scene before marriage. He has always been the guy friends would come to for advice on relationships, and he developed a knack for giving helpful insights. After college, Nick was a disc jockey for a few years, when the love generation was still alive, so Nick has a lot of relevant experience to draw from when it comes to every aspect of dating, falling in love and screwing things up. He holds Bachelor's degree in humanities and a slew of master’s credits in journalism. Nick is a news junkie and tries to keep up on the latest non-fiction when he has time. He has published two books on how to win at dating and relationships.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I have a disability and am not sure how to approach this using the online dating services. I want to be honest and upfront about my challenges so our first meet is not uncomfortable. How do I approach this? What would be the best site to disclose this and make a honest match?

-Nate S. (Iowa)

Expert’s Answer:

Great question, Nate!

We live in a very diverse society, so there are plenty of dating sites for people with disabilities of every kind, as well as a broad acceptance of disabled people on mainstream sites as well.

Depending on the kind of girl you’re looking for, I would recommend you try both a mainstream site and a specialized site that has disabled members and able women looking for a disabled partner.

You don’t want to end up with a lot of paid subscriptions, so look for free sites. Many have a basic level that allows you to browse, but you cannot connect without paying a fee. Still, you can see which site is the most comfortable and useful for you before you sign up.

Disabled-World.com is completely free with no upgrade charges, and it combines a social community with dating. Some sites have a lot of members and some have only a few, so do some homework before you subscribe.

There is no need for you to feel as though you are selling damaged goods, nor is there a need for you to make your disability the headline in your profile. On the regular sites, attract women the same way other guys do, and if a woman clicks through to your profile, make sure your disability shows up in the first paragraph.

Just don’t let it define you. You’re not a disabled man. You’re a regular man with a disability.

The good news is that you are going to attract the real sweethearts of the world. The girls who want to meet you will be interested in the real man you are. They are likely to be caring women who are looking for a committed relationship with a man who will appreciate and respect them.

They are tired of men with disabled emotions and will gladly look beyond your physical challenge. They will understand the strength and compassion that can only be found in the heart of a man like you.

Good luck, Nate!


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