She No Longer Greets Me When I See Her. Is She Mad at Me?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I have become friends with a younger woman at the restaurant where she works. Recently, she always seemed to really be glad to see me when I came in, hugging me and making sure she served me. I suggested a very low-key date late at night so we could talk without her getting interrupted by her work. Despite me being obviously nervous asking her, she said sure.

I text her and she returned it saying we could meet another night. I text her a couple days later and got no response. Two days later, I went to the restaurant and she did not smile and turned and walked off.

Maybe she said yes on the spot and has second thoughts. But it is like she is mad or put off by something, and I can’t think of anything I said or did that would be offensive. I can deal with not dating her, but I want her to be nice to me again.

-W.L. (North Carolina)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

She’s not mad at you. She’s mad at herself for not being a good communicator and for not being confident enough to tell you from the beginning that your friendship is just that and nothing more. So, now she’s embarrassed that she’s blown you off and is too ashamed to tell you the truth.

The funny thing about people like this is they avoid honest communication so they won’t hurt the other person’s feelings but they end up hurting people even more. And these people are bad bets as romantic partners because they can’t speak their mind. Obviously you like this restaurant and would like to have your old relationship back. I’d send her one more text that says, “I got the message. Let’s go back to smiles and boundaries. See you at work!”

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