“Your feet must be hurting because you’ve been running through my mind all day!” Or how about this one, “You must be from Tennessee because you’re the only 10 I see.”
Those are two common (and corny) pickup lines that will probably get you laughed at and labeled as lame. It seems like the art of approaching a woman has been lost and has turned into a game of cat and mouse.
As confident as men claim to be, one of the hardest things for some men to do is approach a woman in person and show interest.
Social media has made it so much easier to just send a “poke” on Facebook or a “wink” on a dating site, thus saving men from the potential embarrassment of getting turned down in person.
For those who still believe in approaching women in person, here are a few tips:
1. Turn off the arrogance and turn on the confidence.
Many times, as a defense mechanism, men will approach a woman with a high level of arrogance, as if they are doing her a favor by coming up to her. For most women, they see right through this insecurity and it’s an instant turn-off.
Presenting yourself as God’s gift to women, immediately talking about your money, cars and material things, shows her you don’t have much more to offer in terms of personality.
Confidence is what it will take for you to approach in the first place, thus approach her with confident body language and with a confident tone like a man and not with a mumble like a mouse.
Make the conversation more about her and less about you and you are halfway there.
2. Lose the immature antics.
First and foremost, don’t hiss at a grown woman from far away hoping to get her attention. She isn’t a mouse and you sure aren’t a snake.
Never get her attention by saying “Hey!” or “Hey, girl!” and for goodness sake, please do not touch her if she doesn’t invite you to do it. Touching or grabbing at the wrong woman is invading her personal space and may not end well for you.
Finally, stop having your boys “put you on” or “hook you up.” How old are you anyway? Simple manners will do the trick.
If she doesn’t notice you, a simple “Excuse me, my name is (insert name). I wanted to come say hello.” Not only will that spark some conversation, but it’s a simple and gentlemanly way to get her attention.
If she likes what she sees and is available, I’m sure she will entertain the conversation. If she isn’t interested and she says so, then that’s OK, too. Your ego may be hurt for 0.02 seconds and then you will move on.
“Dating a woman takes a little
confidence, maturity and conversation.”
3. Be a conversationalist, not an interviewer.
The art of conversation involves two people both engaging in a dialogue. You shouldn’t ask her 21 questions before she ever gets a chance to ask you one. Open up the conversation with a few questions with the hope of finding some common ground.
Another great tip is to inject humor. Humor is disarming and women love a man who has a great sense of humor. Don’t be a clown, but show you have a fun side and can enjoy the moment and make her laugh.
Bring more to the table than just your job title. If she is interested in learning more about you, then you will know it and you will feel the vibe.
4. Be a man and close the deal.
When the moment of truth comes and you have made a connection, then it’s time to close the deal. When I say be a man, that means don’t ask for her Facebook name, her Twitter handle or her Instagram page.
Tell her you would love to see her again and to take her out sometime and ask if you can have her phone number. If she is interested in you and would like to go out on a date, then either she will give it to you or ask for yours.
Either way, you closed the deal like a man with confidence and not a boy trying to cop out by asking for a way to contact her on social media. She will appreciate the confidence. Trust me.
And furthermore, actually call her (DO NOT text her) and take her out on a real DATE!
Dating and approaching a woman isn’t rocket science. It takes a little confidence, maturity and conversation.
The woman of substance who is truly interested won’t make it a game. If she does make it a game, it’s probably not the woman you wanted in the first place.
Troy Spry is a certified life and relationship coach and the one and only "Reality Expert.” He created his blog, Xklusive Thoughts, with the intent of putting out a very realistic perspective on life, love and relationships. Visit him at @xklusive5 or on Facebook