She Has Feelings for a Guy Friend. Do I Ignore This Problem?

She Has Feelings For A Guy Friend Do I Ignore This Problem
Updated:
Dr. Wendy Walsh
Lillian Castro

By: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Editor: Lillian Castro

Our dating experts guide readers step-by-step through relationship challenges and romantic decisions in our popular series of advice articles.

Reader Question:

This is the second time my girlfriend and I have broken up because of feelings for another man. After seeing a message between her and a friend, I discovered she has strong emotions for her guy friend. She said she thinks she’s only with me because she knows she doesn’t have a chance with him.

Do I ignore this problem and hope she loses feelings for her friend, or do I move on?

-Andrew (New Jersey)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear Andrew,

If you love something, set it free. If it comes back to you and uses you as a doormat, lock the door.

This is the second time she has fallen for another guy while being with you. That must hurt. But hanging in there, hoping she’ll fall more deeply committed to you, is a prescription for disaster.

Since it seems she’s mostly attracted to people she doesn’t have a chance with, why don’t you make yourself more attractive and not ever give her another chance with you.


No counseling or psychotherapy advice: The Site does not provide psychotherapy advice. The Site is intended only for use by consumers in search of general information of interest pertaining to problems people may face as individuals and in relationships and related topics. Content is not intended to replace or serve as substitute for professional consultation or service. Contained observations and opinions should not be misconstrued as specific counseling advice.

About the Author

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Dr. Wendy Walsh

By: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Women's Dating Expert

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

See Dr. Wendy's full bio »

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