Sometimes She Ignores Me. What Exactly is Going On?

Dr. Wendy Walsh
Dr. Wendy Walsh Updated:
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Reader Question:

There’s a girl I like in college who I’ve known for about a year. Sometimes she seems interested, but sometimes she completely ignores me. I’ve been on a date with her and hung out with her a couple of other times, but I always get mixed reactions.

I basically told her I liked her and was interested in spending more time with her. She said she enjoys the time we spend together and she wants to get to know me better. She also let me kiss her.

Again, she started trying to avoid me and ignore me. I can understand some girls just don’t want to hurt your feelings and will use excuses rather than say no, but she let me kiss her.

What exactly is going on?

-James (Florida)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Dear James,

Yes, some girls even kiss a guy they are unsure about. And some girls use a wide range of male attention to flatter themselves.

I think you have done enough and have been clear with her. Call her rather than text and ask her out alone rather than hang in groups.

If her mixed signals are still confusing, then disappear and make her wonder where you went.


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