We Don’t Text Anymore. How Do I Get Her to Talk to Me?

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Written by: Dr. Wendy Walsh

Dr. Wendy Walsh

Known as America's Relationship Expert, Dr. Wendy Walsh is an award-winning television journalist, radio host & podcaster, and the author of three books on relationships and thousands of print and digital articles. More than 1.5 million people follow her sage advice on social media. She holds a Ph.D. in Clinical Psychology and teaches in the Psychology Department at California State University Channel Islands and has been the host of "The Dr. Wendy Walsh Show" on iHeart Radio's KFI AM 640 since 2015. Walsh is also a former Emmy-nominated co-host of "The Doctors," as well as former host of the nationally syndicated show "EXTRA." She was named a Time Magazine Person of the Year in 2017 after speaking out about harassment at a major news network.

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Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement. She has worked at The Atlanta Journal and Constitution, The Gwinnett Daily News, and The Gainesville Sun covering lifestyle topics.

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Reader Question:

I was talking to a girl for a little while and some of my friends tried to talk me into buying flowers for her. I didn’t want to do that because I thought it would be too much too soon. The same night she got the flowers she text me that she didn’t want a boyfriend right now and wanted to be just friends.

That wasn’t what I wanted, so I told her about my friends and that I might have accidentally rushed things in the process. She gave me the same response and said I could text her anytime. It was always me who text first, so one day I text her that I wasn’t going to text her anymore. Ever since I said that, we haven’t really talked. I see her a lot still because our departments are close together. I want to know if there might be a way to get her to start talking to me again.

-Daniel (Louisiana)

Dr. Wendy Walsh’s Answer:

Oh Daniel, I wish there was an easy way but you may have blown it with this one. I might have suggested that you simply stop texting her without warning or explanation. That can sometimes pique a girl’s interest.

I suspect your “exit text” was really an attempt to get her to respond. If there’s one slim chance with this girl (and there may not be at this time in your life), you could try ignoring her completely but still make sure she sees you with another girl.

Female competition can sometimes make a girl sit up and take notice. But, you may have learned a valuable lesson here: Go with your gut, not the wisdom of the boys club.

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