Men's Dating

Why You Never Had a Successful Long-Term Relationship in College

Eduard Ezeanu

Written by: Eduard Ezeanu

Eduard Ezeanu

Connect with Eduard on Google+.

Edited by: Lillian Castro

Lillian Castro

Lillian Guevara-Castro brings more than 30 years of journalism experience to ensure DatingAdvice articles and reports have been edited for overall clarity, accuracy, and reader engagement.

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If you’re the kind of guy who dated a few girls during college, maybe you had a few short-term relationships but no successful long-term relationship, and you notice many of your friends are in extended relationships, you may be wondering: “Why can’t I have such a relationship?”

There are several common reasons why some guys, although actively dating, never had a successful long-term relationship in college, and I’d like to show you those reasons.

1. You have a more unique personality.

We are all unique. However, some of us stray from the typical college student archetype. We have more distinctive interests, beliefs and personality traits.

If you’re such a person, it’s harder for you to find a match. Thus, you are unlikely both to make good friends and get into a long-term romantic relationship as easy as other people.

It’s not a big deal, and it doesn’t mean you should change the way you are. It just means you need to search more and have more patience in order to meet those persons you do match well with.

2. You change your behavior after entering a relationship.

Most guys think once they get the girl, they need to adjust their behavior in order to keep her. Thus, they may become a lot more sensitive or stop seeking challenges.

In my experience as a coach, this is a huge mistake.

The behavior that made a girl feel attracted to you and want to be with you in the first place is the exact same behavior that will keep her attracted to you and make her stay with you in the long run.

Don’t change once you’re in a relationship. Stay true to your genuine self.

 

“Not all of us are made for

classic long-term relationships.”

3. You lack communication skills.

Relationships are kept alive and rewarding through good communication between the two persons involved.

By communicating clearly, you set expectations, negotiate roles, understand each other and connect with each other.

If you lack good communication skills, you and your partner will steadily become more distant and the relationship will generate many frustrations.

This is why it’s important to have good communication skills in a relationship.

If you lack them, read some books on this topic, maybe take some courses and actively work on improving yourself in this area. It will be worth it.

4. You’re just not the long-term relationship type.

The truth is not all of us are made for classic long-term relationships. Plenty of us have such a strong need for variety and novelty that the traditional elongated relationship quickly gets boring and unfulfilling.

If you feel this is the case for you, then it’s important to rethink your approach to relationships all together.

Maybe it’s better for you to seek shorter relationships and not expect them to last forever. Maybe you want to consider an open relationship or some other alternative form of relationship.

There are plenty of options out there. Keep an open mind and you’ll find the best one for you.

With the right mindset and some tweaks to your behavior, you can get a gratifying relationship that best fits your needs.

How are you going to find the relationship that best fits your needs?

Eduard Ezeanu helps shy guys gain social confidence and socially inept individuals develop sharp people skills. He also shares advice on Twitter and Facebook as @artofconfidence.

Photo source: news.com.au.

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